Subject: [KFFDisc] Angel Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1998 07:42:46 PDT From: "Aspen Talyor" Reply-To: kenshinfanfics@makelist.com To: kenshinfanfics@makelist.com Disclaimer: I did not create either the characters in this story or the words from song Angel. Sarah McLachlan is the boss of that. Author's note: I just wrote on the plane on the way home from Puerto Rico. It smashed me in the head ( Don't worry it wasn't as painful as it sounds) when I was listening to Dru's City of Angel's CD ( I need to return that to her). I changed a word of the song to fit the story better, tell me if you figure out which word it is. It shouldn't be too hard, you folks are relatively intelligent. ^_^X For those of you who haven't heard the song, you have been greatly deprived and should seek it out ASAP. Anyway, You may hate it, you may love it. I honestly don't know. Either way, here it is. ""-speech ** **-thought ~ ~-remembered dialogue Angel By Athena Kenshin dried himself off, wringing the water out of his hair. The bath had felt good, the warm water eased his sore muscles. Megumi's careful stitches closed a wound in his shoulder. It didn't hurt, not really anyway. As he made his way back to his room, he could hear Kaoru cleaning the kitchen. He considered going into help her out, but he knew would just usher him back towards his room. He had almost lost her today. The cunning, well trained son of one of the officials he had killed those ten years ago. He had been watching them, for a few weeks and then made his move, abducting Kaoru when she had gone to get tofu for tonight's dinner. He had sent a note to the dojo, and Kenshin wasted no time answering the challenge. He had been furious, but he had had to smile when he had arrived at the scene, the man, who only went only by Sintori had a horrible black eye. Kaoru had resisted a bit more than he had planned. After a few boasting words the fight began. Sintori's form, had been very confusing, a mixture of so many, it was hard to predict where he was going with each move. The fight had been drawn out a bit longer than Kenshin would have thought, but it certainly wasn't the most difficult opponent he had ever fought. He would have had felt sorry for the young man, but he had used Kaoru to get to him, and that was unforgivable. Sliding the door to his room open he stepped inside, his mind brooding. He was so tired of this, would he never find peace? It was always the same, an enemy threatens the ones he loves to get to him. Especially Kaoru. She was the most important thing in the world to him. A fact which did not escape many. He wished that he could just get another chance, to start over right. To live a peaceful life with Kaoru and his new family. You spend all your life waiting, for that second chance, for a break that would make it ok. There's always some reason, to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day. Kenshin sighed, laying his sakabatou next to his futon. He removed his robe, and sat on top of his futon. It was late fall, and Kaoru had already put out the winter sheets and padding in all the rooms. His wet hair, still loose, clung to his back. The wet strands drying in the slight chill of the room, caused goosebumps. He shivered involuntarily. There was just too much too think about, too much going on. Memories from the past seemed to haut him even more recently, demanding attention. After Kyoto, he had hoped that it would be over, that he finally would have peace. And then Tomoe's brother had returned, seeking revenge for his sister. Gods, it was like a festering wound, that was hell bent on remaining open. He desperately wished that it wound close and fade away. I need some distraction, oh a beautiful release, Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty, Oh weightless, and maybe, I'll find some peace tonight. He shook his head and pulled his hair pack into its usual place, securing it with a tie. He heard Kaoru's movements in the kitchen, and the hiss of the stove as she dosed it with water. She had gotten away from the day's ordeal with only a bump on her head. Still Kenshin was angry. He often wondered what her life would have been if he had never been in it. That night when she had passed out in the alleyway, he should have dropped her off at the dojo and gone back on the road. But he had stayed, worried about her. He never understood just how she had slid her way into his heart. He loved her, there was no doubt in his mind. He knew that he was insane, she was a young woman with her whole future ahead of her. She was beautiful, filled with sprit and passion for life unlike any he had ever seen. She was mature beyond her age, independent, a result of having to grow up prematurely. And yet there was another part of her that only perhaps he could see, the innocent and fragile part of her, the side that she so desperately tried to hide. That inner struggle was perhaps what made them so alike. She was stronger perhaps than he, she lived her life determined to make the world right, almost like the way he tried to do those ten years ago. But instead of changing it quickly with blood and pain, she changed it slowly. Whether it was only a smile, of a favor never asked for, she would never go a day with out making someone's life just a little brighter. When he tried to think of a way to describe her, he found it suprisingly difficult. *She must be an angel in disguise.* He laughed softly. A strange angel indeed. A horrible cook, with a tendency to smack, throw, berate, or bonk over the head any who would insult her cooking or her person. He smiled. Strange or not she was his angel. His thoughts turned dark. It was he that constantly but her in danger. Not on purpose of course, but whether or not he meant to, it happened. It was times like this where he seriously considered wandering again. She wasn't alone now, she had Yahiko, Sano, and Megumi. If he were to leave, all the dangers that accompanied him, would be gone. Sanosuke certainly could watch over her, should she get herself into a bit of trouble. He trusted Sano, the ex-gangster thought of Kaoru as a sister, referring to her as 'little missy'. Yes, she would be safe. They would be upset for a while, but then they would forget him and move on. Being on the move made it easier to avoid his past, not residing in one location permanently. He had to admit that he didn't want to wander again, lonely nights with none to laugh with. Constantly having to find a way to get money to eat, and buy necessary supplies. But he could continue to help people, and not have to worry about endangering his family. Family how easy it was to say it. A dysfunctional family for certain, but one he was proud of. He had made it hard for himself, letting them become important to him. This was the right thing though. *If I leave they will be better off.* He resigned, putting his head in his hands. So tired of the straight line, and every you turn, there are vultures and thieves at you back. The storm keeps on twisting, keeps on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference, escape one last time, it's easier to believe. Oh this sweet madness, this glorious sadness, it brings me too my knees. There was a soft knock at the door, bringing him out of his thoughts. It could only be Kaoru, Sano had gone back to his apartment, and Yahiko had already gone to sleep. " Come in." The door slid open, revealing Kaoru as predicted. She was still in her kimono. It had a few rips, but the true evidence of the day was in her face. A welt on her forehead, by her hairline paid tribute to her abduction earlier that day. Her eyes were so tired though, dark circles smudged underneath the tired blue orbs. Her appearance sent pangs of guilt back home. She had a cup of some unknown liquid in her hand, and a worried look on her face. " Kaoru-dono, is everything alright?" He asked. She smiled and nodded. "Yes, I just saw your light was still on, and I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." She looked down and her feet, and scrunched up her toes. He gave her a reassuring smile. " Yes I'm fine. Thank you for asking." He was touched, she always worried about him. Now that he thought about it, between the two of them there was a lot of worrying going on. She nodded and stepped into his room, extending her hand, offering him the small cup. He took it as she sat down next to his futon. He gave her a questioning look. " It's the medicinal tea Megumi told you to take after dinner. I made it, but you forgot to take it before you went to your bath. So I just warmed it up for you." She nodded for him to drink it. " Go on, It smells like sin but she said it will help ensure you don't get an infection. It'll help you sleep too." She smiled. With that smile Kenshin felt like he had been punched. ** After all that has happened, she looks at with me with no blame, no anger. She was up bringing me tea that I forgot with a smile on her face, when she should have been in bed resting hours ago. ** It wasn't until he realized Kaoru was looking at him oddly that he realized her was staring with his mouth half open. He quickly shut it and apologized. He drank the bitter liquid quickly, setting it down on the floor. " I'm sorry Kaoru, I should have remembered. You should have just told me, I would just gotten it myself. You really should have just gone to sleep, you look tired." He told her quietly. She nodded. " I am tired, but don't worry about it, I wanted some more tea anyway. Besides, I didn't want to interrupt you." She admitted bushing her bangs off her face. He raised a confused eyebrow. " Ever since we got back from the clinic you have been awfully quiet. This is the first time you have talked actually." She bent over, picked up the cup and stood. " You looked like you had a lot on you mind. Good night Kenshin." She turned towards the door. Before she got to far, he grabbed the hem of her kimono, staying her. She paused and turned to look at him. His face was downturned, and obscured by his wet mane of hair. When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet. " Thank you Kaoru. For everything." He didn't know if she ever would understand just what 'everything' was. Just how much he was grateful for everything she had ever done for him. Kenshin could almost hear her smile, feeling it right through his skull as she spoke. " Your welcome Kenshin." And with that she slipped out of his room, impressively silent. He could feel the tea already begin to do its job, his brain becoming muddled, and his body loose. He didn't enjoy the feeling, but knew it was not a bad idea to get some sleep. So he gave in, leaving thoughts of wandering for tomorrow, he sipped into darkness. Kaoru stepped into the Kitchen and shivered. It wasn't because it was cold. Kenshin's words echoed in her mind. ~ Thank you Kaoru. For everything. ~ She remembered those words. She closed her eyes. She remembered that the fireflies had been so beautiful. Then in the darkness, he came. She remembered his arms around her, the way he clung to her. She also remembered him thanking her the same way he just did, then leaving. She put the cup in the sink and leaned against it wearily. He was going to go wandering again. ** I'd bet it was because what happened today. When is he going to understand that we all understand the risks that come with letting him live here? When is going to understand that I love him, and that if this is the cost, I take it gladly? ** She bent over the sink, putting her weary head in her hands. It had been such a long day. She had spent all morning teaching at some of the other schools, after having not slept well the previous night. After getting the tofu she had been looking forward to a hot bath and sleep. Fate had other plans for her. She ran a finger gently over the bump on he forehead. It was the source of her headache. Bastard. At least she had gotten in one good punch. She had a bruised hand to prove it, the guy had had a hard face. Shaking her head, she returned to her previous thoughts. ** I'll talk to the others tomorrow, well keep a watch on him for the next few days. Make sure that he doesn't go anywhere by himself. Not that if he really wanted to go, we could stop him. ** She reigned, hitting her hand on the edge of the sink. She blew out the lamp and made her way out of the dark kitchen. Stepping into her room she got ready for bed. Slipping into her futon, she was glad for a nights rest. She was just about to fall asleep when he heard something strange. It was a thrashing sound, someone struggling. It was coming from Kenshin's room. She charged out of her room and threw his door open. "Kenshin?" She asked the darkness, hearing only silence. She stepped into the room, her eyes beginning to adjust to the dark. The noise was coming from Kenshin himself, a soft mumbling that was indecipherable. She realized that he was having a nightmare. Kaoru sighed and kneeled by his futon. He had so many of these, she could hear him sometimes from her room at night. It would keep her up, the sounds of him calling out. She often times could not understand what he was saying, but sometimes she could hear names. Most times they were alien, creatures from his past, sometimes they were the Kenshin-Gumi's. But tonight, it was her name. Her eyes, fast adjusting to the darkness, she could see his sword hand clench and unclench. ** He must be fighting someone.** " Kaoru, no you don't understand!" His frightened voice called out. It was strained, almost desperate. Kaoru's heart broke and the sound of it, so tortured. ** Oh Kenshin, what is it that pulls at your heart so?** She wondered. Not really sure if she should do so, she scooted up by his head and pulled it into her lap. She had done this once before after Kyoto. Once in her lap he began to shiver violently, the words 'No you don't understand, and I'm sorry' were a litany coming from his shivering lips. She hissed as one of his shoulders jerked up suddenly and jammed painfully into her breast. **Kenshin watch it, you could tear those stitches. ** To prevent that she crossed her arms over his chest trying to keep him still. ** I've never seen him having a nightmare this bad before. ** She slipped an arm underneath his and pulled him against her chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him tightly, trying to still him. Against the warmth of her body, his struggling slowed and eventually ceased. A trembling voice emerged from his lips. " Kaoru please don't me leave here, alone." The desperation in his plea broke her heart. She hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head. " I'm right here Kenshin. I won't ever leave you, I promise." She scooted back a few inches to put her back against the room wall. She hugged him into her and rested her cheek against the top of his head. In the arms of the angel, Fly away from here. In this dark, and cold room. and the endlessness that you feel. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revere. You're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort here. Kaoru smiled as she heard Kenshin's breathing almost immediately slow to a pattern of sleep. She closed her own tired eyes and allowed herself to join him in darkness. And as for Kenshin, he smiled in his sleep. Having for the first time, pleasant dreams. You're in the arms of an angel May you find, some comfort here. The End. Questions, comments, flames? Drop me a note! goddessvenka@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ List Site: http://www.findmail.com/list/kenshinfanfics/ To unsubscribe, send to kenshinfanfics-unsubscribe@makelist.com FREE group e-mail lists at http://www.findmail.com