From: Chibi-Chiriko Ohayou gozaimashita, minna! I'm kinda new here . . . well, not really, 'cause I subscribed a little more than two weeks ago, just stayed silent for a while back. I wrote a little piece of WAFF last night, and decided to post it here. 'Neeways, name's Chibi-Chiriko, major, major fan of the Shinsengumi, especially Okita, Saitou, and Hijikata (which is why I love all these Shinsengumi fics!) Soujirou, Kamatari, Battousai, Aoshi, Misao, Sagara-taichou . . . ^^ I love WAFF (except K/K WAFF) comedy fics, angst, fics with unusual plot twists, descriptive fics, angst, and of course, Shinsengumi/Sekihoutai fics. Anyway, I get the feeling I'm straying too far away from the topic sooooooo ... ************* Disclaimer: All rights to Rurouni Kenshin go to Nobuhiro Watsuki, Jump Comics, Shueisha, Fuji TV and SPE Visual Works. This is a nonprofit work of fanfiction written purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended. WARNING: Major WAFF ahead! Watch out for sugar overdose! ^-^x THE BATTLE FOR THE TITLE OF THE CUTEST by: Chibi-Chiriko The wind was cool and crisp as it swept across the dark city of Kyoto. Overhead was a moon, full and seemingly flat as a coin, and just as round. It had a reddish tint to it - red, just like blood. During the past few days, it seemed to have been raining blood in Kyoto, the gutters overflowing with the red fluid from severed bodies that littered the streets. Innocence, then, was unfamiliar. Nothing could be heard in the night, except for the soft, brisk footsteps of two men. They were clad in light blue jackets, and distinctive bands around there foreheads. The sheathed swords at their waists were unmistakable, and were clearly meant to kill. The man on the right was a tall, lean man, with a silent, though formidable expression on his thin, impassive face. Amber eyes gleamed menacingly in the dark, and a long, thick ponytail swished lightly behind him. Beside him was a shorter young man who had a strangely tranquil smile on his youthful face. His blue eyes shone like crystals in a dark cave, and his short, dark brown ponytail bounced cutely against his nape. It was he who spoke first, and when he spoke, it was in a light, almost feminine voice, like a much younger child. But his words were solemn, unlike any words a younger child could dare to speak. "What do you think awaits us tonight, Saitou-san?" he asked softly, his blue eyes earnest. "It seems as though every night, the fighting gets worse, fiercer. The end of this war is drawing near, and each party is determined to prevent the others from gaining victory." The one called Saitou scoffed in indignance. "Okita-kun, the answer is around your forehead and in the color of that jacket you're wearing. The answer is portrayed clearly enough in the flag that bears the symbol of 'Makoto'." Okita smiled, and a faint trace of wistfulness flickered across his smile. "I know." The two fell silent as they walked on. They slowed to a cautious halt at the sight of a short figure a few feet away from them. It was a young man, probably as young as Okita, or perhaps even younger. He was wearing a light blue gi, and had short, dark hair, which reflected a sliver of moonlight. His face was turned away from them, so they did not recognize him, and this made them suspicious. "Stand there!" Saitou's voice rang coolly in the night, both a harsh command and a smooth show of authority. It was a voice that could always get an answer out of anyone, except perhaps a man who surpassed him in will and ability, if such a man were possible. The young man was silent; in fact, he didn't seem at all disturbed. This aroused more suspicion, and a fair bit of annoyance on Saitou's part, and he stepped forward, clearing his throat loudly. Okita took charge then. "Identify yourself!" he ordered, his hand on the hilt of his sword. Hearing this, the young man turned to look at them, and both swordsmen were shocked to see his face: it was so like that of the Captain of the First Unit of the Shinsengumi. Those cerulean eyes, the hair, the innocent smile . . . all he needed was a ponytail and a Shinsengumi jacket, and he could patrol the streets of Kyoto, pretending he was Okita. His sweet, angelic-looking face, however, showed that this was not one of his intentions. "My name is Seta Soujirou," said the stranger. He didn't seem at all frightened, not even when he saw the threat in Saitou's eyes, and the swords at their waists. "And what, exactly, is your han, Seta Soujirou?" Saitou demanded. "And what are you doing out here at night?" Soujirou scratched the back of his head, and Okita's face twitched a little. It was almost like he was looking like a mirror of himself! Except - of course, *he* was the cuter one. Right? "Han?" Soujirou asked, looking a bit confused, but still with that smile on his face. "Er, gosh, I really don't know. My mother was a prostitute, and I believe my father was from a samurai clan, but they're both dead, and I never really knew them . . ." For a moment, there was something that resembled sadness in his eyes, which was quickly replaced by that sunny smile. "And I was just wandering around tonight," he added quickly. "I'm a wanderer, and I've decided to wander for ten years to find my answer." Okita blinked. Was this guy for real? A wanderer? No way - the only wanderers were those masterless samurai who'd deserted their hans and decided to join the rebellion against the government. Now as for that answer . . . what was the question anyway, and why would he go wandering for ten years just for one stupid answer? No, this guy *couldn't* be for real. There had to be more to it than just that. And he was even more curious as to why he looked just like him, minus the ponytail, the jacket and the sword. And minus the fact that he *couldn't* be cuter than Okita - right? "Okita-kun!" Okita blinked, and glanced up at Saitou, who was looking at him reprovingly. "What shall we do with him? I personally think we should cut him down -" "Oh, no, don't do that!" Soujirou interrupted, a panicked look on his face. "I'll never get my answer if you kill me!" Saitou glared at him. "Oh, stop being cute," he snarled, and Okita frowned at this. No, it can't be . . . "- but I decided to ask your opinion first," Saitou continued. "Well?" Okita frowned, narrowing his eyes at Soujirou. "Saitou-san, I have a question." "What is it?" "Who is cuter, that Soujirou guy or me?" Saitou face-faulted, then recovered his wits as easily as he'd lost them, and lifted Okita off the ground by the lapels of his jacket, glaring at him malevolently. *"WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?!"* he snarled, and Okita sweatdropped. Soujirou beamed. "Does that mean that killing me is out of the question? Oh, thank you so much, you're so kind!" he exclaimed. He quickly picked up his bag and prepared to dart off into the shadows. "So now I'll be on my way, it was nice meeting you . . ." "Come here!" Saitou grabbed him by the hair, ignoring his pitiful yelp, and pulled him next to Okita. Both sweatdropped as he looked at him carefully, his eyes moving from one cute face to the other. They both held their breath in anticipation, and as he gulped deeply and opened his mouth to speak . . . His lips quivered, his nostrils flared, as though he was trying very hard not to laugh. "Okita, you've got a rip under your sleeve," he said softly, then burst into loud laughter. Okita's cheeks turned deep pink. "Saitou-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!" he protested. "*Now* will you let me go?" Soujirou asked hopefully, his eyes twinkling. Saitou frowned, then studied their faces carefully. "I really don't know," he mused. "You're both rather cute - maybe you should just fight it out in a duel or something . . ." "RIGHT!" With a sudden flick of his wrist, Okita sent a sword flying in the air towards Soujirou. The latter caught it easily, and Okita drew out his own sword, his eyes glittering evilly. "Now we'll see who's the cutest, Soujirou," he sneered. "Let's see what you're made of, *kid*, if you can put your sword where your cuteness is." "I don't *really* want to hurt you," Soujirou wheedled, fingering with his bag. "Can't we just let this go, please? I won't ever get in your way again, I promise." "No way!" Okita looked at him as though he'd suddenly grown horns. "This is a battle for the title of the cutest, and there's no turning back. Why, kid, are you chicken?" Soujirou blinked. "No, but -" He let out a sigh of resignation. "Oh, okay, you win. But don't blame me." "I won't." Okita smirked and slid into position for his famous left-handed thrust. Saitou watched them with little interest, then walked away. He could check on the outcome of the fight later; he had more important things to do. Soujirou considered for a moment, then moved into a battou-jutsu position. His eyes took in Okita's stance for a long, tense moment, and then they were ready. Simultaneously, as though the thread restraining them had snapped at the same time, they sprang into action. Okita darted forward, in complete control of his movements as his sword headed straight to its mark - - when its mark suddenly vanished. And Okita let out a sharp gasp as he heard the rustling of clothing behind him, and the sting of a blade grazing lightly across his shoulder blades. It had done no serious injury - it hadn't even broken the skin - but he had a feeling it was intentional. He whirled around, breathing heavily, as he watched Soujirou skid to a halt, without so much as a pant. "You're not bad," he admitted, flicking the bangs from his eyes. "Others I've fought with that technique were killed even before the whole thrust was executed. I always did long for a challenge such as this." "We could always end this now," Soujirou offered. "It wouldn't be a disgrace - it was my idea after all . . ." But Okita was already shaking his head. "No," he said. "Not until one of has has truly won." "And how would you say one of us has truly won?" Okita smiled, then held his sword in front of him. "The winner is the one left standing, Soujirou," he said softly. Again they leapt into the fray, their swords clashing, their feet barely touching the floor as they weaved in and out of each other's way, turning gravity into their ally as they flew at each other. No serious injury was being inflicted by either one, though occasionally, blood would speckle the ground. There seemed no sign of either one of them planning to give up, either, except for Soujirou's occasional plea to end the fight in a draw. They would have fought the whole night, when a tall and dignified-looking young woman walked past, and sniffed at the sight of the two of them fighting each other. "How disgusting," she scoffed. "And to think they could actually look cute apart from this stupid fighting and all." That forced them to stop, hairs away from running their swords through each other. Blue eyes locked onto each other, and they blinked. "DISGUSTING?!" Moments later, the two had set their swords aside, and were smiling angelically at the passersby as they stood quietly at the side of the road. One girl passed by, and grinned at Soujirou. "Oh, you're adorable!" she exclaimed, and pinched his cheek. Soujirou flinched slightly, his face turning pink, and another girl saw this and gave him a kiss on the other cheek. "Oh, you are so *cute!*" she exclaimed. Okita blinked. "Hey!" The girls passed on, without giving him so much as a glance or anything. A soft, cool wind blew past, whipping Okita's ponytail against his faces, messing up the strands as they stuck to his cheeks. However, it gently lifted the tendrils of Soujirou's dark hair, and let them fall tenderly over his left eye, making him look simply adorable. A mob of girls swarmed past, and they squealed in adoration as they laid eyes on Soujirou. "OH, HE'S SOOO KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" they sighed dreamily, patting him on the shoulder or tousling his hair before they walked away, giggling. "Oh! You're so annoying!" Holding back no longer, Okita reached out, and gave Soujirou a hard pinch on the fleshy part of his forearm. Soujirou let out a soft gasp of pain, his face coloring slightly, and he looked so innocent and fragile, like a flower in the rain, that the girls squealed even louder as they beheld him. Okita's eyes widened. *Damn, whatever I do, it just seems to make fate favor him more!* He thought about it for a moment, then came to a decision. He grabbed Soujirou's wrist, and ordered, "Pinch me." Soujirou stared at him. "Huh?" he asked blankly. "I *said*, PINCH ME!" And Soujirou looked even more confused. "But - why should I? It'll hurt . . ." "Well, you look cute when you're pinched. So maybe I will, too." Soujirou rolled his eyes, reached out, and gave Okita a pinch. "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Okita lurched forward, and let out an "oomph" as he bumped into someone's hard chest. His cheeks turned bright red as he looked up into the stern face of Saitou Hajime. "Saitou-san!" he exclaimed, mortified beyond belief. "I, uh, thought you had left!" "I did," was Saitou's cool reply. "But I came back. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE?" "Ahhh, oh, nothing, ahahahahaha!" Grinning like an idiot, Okita shoved Saitou away. "Now go on, please, I hear a lady screaming." Saitou looked at him strangely, then shrugged, and went off on his way. When he was gone, Okita glared at Soujirou. "Ahou!" he snarled at the baffled boy. Soujirou blinked. *"Now* what?" he asked in exasperation. "You did that on purpose!" "Of course I did!" Soujirou exclaimed. "Only because you told me so!" "CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTEEEEE!" A group of lovely young girls suddenly grabbed Soujirou, hearts in their eyes as they cuddled him and kissed him. Okita glanced at Soujirou unhappily as he received heaps and heaps of comments and compliments of how cute he was, how angelic-looking he was, how sweet he looked and all. It was disgusting, really, the attention they paid him, and what was worse, he couldn't believe he was actually *jealous!* And Soujirou just smiled through it all, mostly in embarrassment, but at times he actually seemed to *like* their praise! "Gee, I wonder if it's the gi that gets to them?" Okita mused critically. "Or maybe the hair? Should I wear my hair in pigtails? Maybe I should just cut off this stupid ponytail - no, maybe I should just let it fall loose over my shoulders?" Soujirou shuddered at the thought. Okita noticed this, but assumed otherwise. *Poor guy, must be feeling cold in the night without a jacket*, he thought compassionately. His kind, generous nature kicked in, and he took off his jacket and wrapped it around the boy. Soujirou blinked at him, surprised. Okita let out an awkward cough. "Ahh - you seemed to be feeling cold, and it is understandable, with the weather and all. 'Never deviate from the path proper to man,' that's what Toshi-san always reminds us. Besides, no matter what I do, you seem to be winning anyway. What's your secret?" Soujirou blinked, looking even more surprised, then smiled gently. "I really don't know," he said. "Natural cuteness, maybe?" Okita frowned. Then his mind started spinning. *Natural cuteness . . . * *"You're both rather cute,"* Saitou had said earlier. If that was so, then . . . Okita smiled warmly and extended his hand toward Soujirou. Soujirou eyed it suspiciously. "Well . . . even though you obviously deserve the title yourself, I think two natural cutenesses are better than just one. What do you say?" They looked at each other, then put their arms around each other's shoulders, and . . . Okita (^o^); Soujirou (^-^) To their sugar shock, whenever people passed them by, they ended up on the ground. Occasionally, there would be drops of drool on their chins. It baffled them at first, but eventually, they understood, and smiled even sunnier smiles at the next round of passersby. "United we stand, divided we fall," Okita sighed, looking appreciatively at his partner in crime. Or rather, his partner in cuteness. Their happiness, though, was temporarily short-lived. A fire raged through the Kyoto city, burning everything in its way. It veered sharply in the direction of Okita and Soujirou, and as a loud, evil laugh floated in the air, Soujirou's face turned pale. "Okita-san - it's Shishio-san, and he's come to get me!" Sure enough, a tall bandaged man that looked strangely like an Egyptian mummy staggered out of the fire, holding out a naked blade gleaming in the flames. His eyes strayed to meet Soujirou's, and he cackled gleefully as he advanced towards them. Seeing the panic on his friend's face, Okita grabbed him, pulled him close, and whispered something in his ear. Okita nodded, and they both turned to face Shishio. And they beamed at him. Aku . . . Soku . . . Zan . . . Okita (=^.^=); Soujirou (=^o~=) Shishio instantly dropped dead. The fire licked at his bandages, then swallowed him slowly, ingesting his sooty body into the flames. Satisfied, the fire slowly died down, inches away from the two valiant young men. Somewhere in the short distance, two men were watching. One of them was Saitou, who had now taken out a cigarette to smoke while he was being entertained. The other was a tall, lean man, with an icy look in his blue eyes and a thin, silky ponytail which fluttered loosely in the wind. "Amazing," murmured the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toshizou. His eyes had never left the battle scene. "What a sword technique - Hidari Cuteness Hiratsuki. I never even saw their swords leave their scabbards, and as it appears now, it's almost as though they never used it." "That's because they never did." Saitou resisted the urge to add 'ahou' to his first sentence. "It was cuteness - sheer cuteness that killed Makoto Shishio." "Think it'll stand against the Battousai?" "You can be so cute sometimes, Hijikata-san." OWARI 12/21/99 Slightly modified 12/22/99 So, how was that? Weird? Stupid? Horrible? Or just plain borning! Gomen nasai! ^^;; It's just that I've had this idea for quite some time, and I only got the guts to try again now. I'm a really big fan of these two, and it'd be impossible for me to tell who's cuter between them, so don't bother asking. ^-^ Anyway, I know I already made some blunders. The time frame, for instance. Soujirou wasn't even supposed to be that old during the Bakumatsu! (Well, since this is sort of a WAFF/omake thingy, time shouldn't matter much, ne?) And I guess I overdid the OOC of Saitou and Okita - I just couldn't resist! And I know it seemed undeniably yaoi at times - well, this fic is supposedly general, and it will remain general. Think whatever you like of it! If there's something wrong with the spelling, grammar, phrasing, historical accuracy, terms used, etc., PLEASE TELL ME! C & C, flames, chocolates, love letters, etc. will also be most welcome. Take care and God bless you! ^-^x __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Thousands of Stores. Millions of Products. All in one place. Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- GRAB THE GATOR! FREE SOFTWARE DOES ALL THE TYPING FOR YOU! Tired of filling out forms and remembering passwords? Gator fills in forms and passwords with just one click! Comes with $50 in free coupons! Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------