From: Fuu-chan Note: I had forgotten to mention it, because it seems so obvious to me, but here it is: All the manga and anime characters pictured in this story are property of their respective authors, copyright and all those fun things to them, the various publishing companies involved and whoever else has them.This fanfiction has been written for the simple joy of writing and also to give homage to the beautiful works which have inspired it, no profit has ever been or will ever be derived from it. The storiy, as well as the original characters it contains however are my property. And now on with the fic itself! =) Fuu-chan. -- The Other Side of twilight - Part 1. I lifted the bucket above my shoulders and spilled its contents over my body, fighting the reflex to shiver. I closed my eyes as I felt the icy cold water running down my arms, back, chest, belly and legs, and focused inwards as I had learnt to do. I bent down, dipping the bucket into the basin once more, and repeated the sequence. The echoes of the water being splashed over me resonated in the small preparation room next to the shrine's main room. Eventually I set the bucket down, and stepped out of the stone ring which marked the space reserved for ritual purification. Reaching out for a towel, I dried myself quickly, not exactly that fond of cold, and then started to don the robes. Those early morning baths of icy cold water were a pain, but this time the ritual had had at least one use: besides the cleansing of my body, it sure had done the job of waking me up. Of course, just as that thought crossed my mind, I felt the overwhelming urge to yawn. While a part of me mechanically focused on dressing up correctly, the other felt relief once more as it remembered I had found the house silent and deeply asleep when I had reached it, mere moments before dawn. I hadn't been able to catch any sleep, but then that was a small price to pay for the night's escapade. Indeed. Once I was done dressing up, I quickly cleansed the stones I had stood upon for bathing, stored the used towel in the wicker basket and went to the main room. "Tokio." My eyes flashed open as I heard my father's voice echoing in the shrine, but I somehow managed to keep my focus. Turning my head on the left, I saw him carefully closing the main room's door behind him. He came towards me and asked in an oddly quiet voice, "Why have you donned the ceremonial robes this morning?" I looked up at him, more than a bit surprised by his presence here. I could hardly tell him I wanted to try and seek out the stranger he had met the previous night, so I said instead, "I woke up before dawn and felt something wrong, deep inside. I had had this sensation before, but I had dismissed it, attributing it to imagination or edginess. Now I am certain, and I thought a careful, cautious investigation would be good practice." I bowed my head. "If I should have warned you before starting it, please forgive me, father. I didn't know." He knelt down beside me, sighing almost inaudibly. "It's all right." All of a sudden he looked straight at me, and I saw something which might have been distress clouding his eyes. An odd smile, half sad, half helpless came to his lips and he said, "Your perceptions are correct, Tokio. Something has been stirring in the city, disturbing its balance and toying with ancient seals which had been left alone for centuries." He shook his head. "But you must not try to settle it. This matter is beyond you, and possibly beyond me as well." I looked into his eyes, and saw only true, earnest concern. Worry...for me. Fear. Somehow that sight gave rise to a feeling in my heart which might have been sorrow, or perhaps simply empathy. In a slow motion, I saw his right hand reaching out to me, and then felt it resting on my left shoulder. I tensed, bewildered. We were not close, my father and I, and that was an understatement. For him to do such a gesture.... "We have our differences, Tokio, but in this I'm asking you to trust my judgment, please." My father's last whispered word sent shivers down my spine. I had been right when, up in the old sakura's branches, I had envisioned my father dying. It was that bad, and if one as powerful as he could lose his life trying to oppose the stranger who played with the night, then I didn't stand a chance. Loath though I was to admit it, it still remained the truth. I lacked training, experience and possibly talent. Oh I had had enough of it to pass the trials, but what I had felt in the man's presence.... I bowed my head in assent, and a part of the worry left my father's eyes. He said quietly, "If you still wish to check over the city, you may go ahead. It will be good practice, as you said. You should focus on training for the moment, on growing your strength. But you must be extremely careful in anything you undertake; mind your wards and your safeguards, lest you be trapped while you're away." He didn't need to have said that, but then he was unaware that I had witnessed the night's exchange. I waited for a few seconds, pondering the courses of action which were open to me, and eventually told him, "I may not be as skilled as you are, father, but..." I took a deep breath, and then dived, "perhaps there is a way I can help you bear this burden." The fingers of his hand gently squeezed my shoulder and he shook his head, the expression on his face carefully neutral. "No, Tokio. I thank you for this generous offer, but you cannot help me. For now, you *are* the heir, and I cannot endanger you any more than I already do by allowing you to practice. If it wasn't so important that you keep training yourself, I would forbid you to, but as things stand...." His hand left my shoulder as he concluded in a distant voice, "There's no help for that." He stood silently, and then turned away from me. I heard the echo of his steps dimming slowly, and the sound of the shrine's main door being slid open. Then silence. "Tokio, look after your brother, and care for him. He would need your help and guidance if I were to disappear. You would be a good leader for the clan, if you could master your temper." There was a slight chuckle as he added, "I thought that to allow you to learn the way of the sword would not only help your focus, but most of all teach you discipline and strict control.... Ah well." I heard him slide the door shut, and then I stared at the intricate intertwining of my fingers, fighting off the fear and distress which wanted to take hold of my heart. At last, I managed to chase the unwanted emotions away. I closed my eyes, and focused on the feeling of sounds within me. Once they felt clear and true I let them out and opened my eyes. Unfolding my wings. "Again." Obediently I repeated the apparently simple sequence of movements, ignoring the ache along my shoulders and back. Move the left arm back. Focus on the point one wanted to strike. Glide forward, using the support of the right leg and moving the left leg forward in a single, fluid movement. Thrust the blade right in front, slicing the air. Like the wind. "No, that's completely wrong, Tokio-san." I lowered the training sword, directing the tip of its blade towards the floor and turned to face my instructor, bowing in apology. "I know, I can feel it in my back and my shoulders. they're so stiff I can hardly move in a coordinated fashion. I don't know what's wrong with me today." I sighed wearily, more than disappointed. Shame was filling my heart, shame to be unable to correctly accomplish a move I had mastered weeks ago, shame to be unable to set aside memories and knowledge which disturbed my focus. I looked up as I felt a slight vibration in the wooden floor of the dojo. The young man was coming towards me, a gentle smile on his handsome, almost fragile face. He stopped beside me, and let the fingers of his right hand brush my arm as he said, "Allow your heart and mind a bit of rest, Tokio-san. You're so tense you're gripping your wooden kodachi hard enough to break its hilt." The dark green eyes were staring at me steadily, beyond appearances to gaze directly into the turmoil of emotions raging inside me. "Feel the sword's weight in your arm, feel its shape in your shadow, focus on it, focus on that part of you. It doesn't know fear, it doesn't know doubts, it just knows what it wielder--you--wants." I watched closely as he slowly set himself into position to demonstrate the movement once again, and awe filled my being when I saw him breaking into motion. At once slow and incredibly quick. An impossibly fluid, smooth movement. He was one with the floor beneath him and the air around him, his balance absolutely perfect during the whole time. It was like watching water flowing. Like watching the wind cleaving the air. Like.... "There. Like this, you see?" He sheathed his katana as he turned towards me and I nodded silently. Yes, I saw. I had seen it all, but for me to reach such perfection...impossible. "Now, try it again." I started, taken aback, then sighed, telling him, "I can't reach that level, and with my current state of mind--" "Fix it, that's not my problem." I stared helplessly at the young man's suddenly hard eyes. "Opponents won't kindly wait for you to be in the right mood before attacking, Tokio-san." He allowed a smile to soften his expression as he added, "Think about those trials you told me about. They left you no choice then, no time to compose your mind, did they? And you were afraid, deep inside your heart you were terrified, you told me so yourself. Yet you won through, you mastered the feelings which impaired you. This is the same. Every second of our lives is a trial." He came back towards me, and whispered as he passed me by, "Go and show me, Sumeragi Tokio. Show me who you are." Who I was. A shiver ran through my spine, and I felt my heart beating faster. He was right, he was teaching me the art of wielding a sword, I couldn't be given the luxury of time to wait until I felt like fighting. Drawing in a deep breath, I dismissed the memories of this morning, of my father telling me it was possible he would die thus leaving me the terribly heavy task of leading the clan with the elders, of my investigation of Kyoto. The balance was breaking. It truly was, then ancient seals-- A stern voice within me forcibly chased those images and emotions far away, and I focused on the feeling of the wooden hilt in my left hand. Focused. There, that point right in front of me. An eerie veil of calm descended over me as I set my right leg forward and lifted the short sword at my shoulder's level. It was a part of me, an extension of my left arm. One with me. One. Now. At that start, the movement was slow, but as my body glided forward, it gathered speed and I let my self flow with it. I felt a smile coming to my lips, unbidden, as I lowered the blade. It was so simple and wonderful, like ocean waves rushing towards the shore. "You see, I knew you could do it." Happy laughter resounded behind me, and I turned to face the young man. Bowing deeply, I told him, "Thank you, Okita-sensei, or should I say shishou?" I flashed a mischievous smile at him, and then added, sobering, "For your patience with an unworthy student such as I, thank you. I'm really stupid and hopeless sometimes." He waved in denial, chuckling. "No. No, please don't address me like that. I thought we had agreed that as friends we'd use first names, ne Tokio-san?" He grinned at me. "You're fun to teach, even if as you say you can be infuriatingly hopeless." I stuck out my tongue at him, and he laughed aloud. "Now now. this is hardly proper behavior for a twenty-one years old lady such as you!" I waved the training sword at him in a threatening fashion, which of course only served to fuel his amusement. As I stepped towards him, I thought that ours was an odd friendship. Unlikely. I had met him a bit more than two years ago, as he had been walking the streets of the city among his troops. Shinsengumi.... I hated them and the way they played the people around them, manipulating them through fear and the rumors of their actions. Merciless, ruthless warriors they were, a necessary evil perhaps in those troubled times... Nevertheless, an evil which had risen to oppose another one was not a solution. Couldn't be a solution. And I held no love for the other side; no I had no liking for those who conspired against the established order of things and killed silently in the night, those whose name I sometimes heard whispered behind closed doors. The Ishin.... All it came down to in the end was that I didn't like either of them. The Sumeragi clan didn't care about struggles for mundane power. We had a function, a use which had been defined in the now almost forgotten times when the first Descendant of the Sun had ruled Japan. We were neutral, our only interest being in maintaining the spiritual balance of the land, in protecting it and keeping it safe. Some called us exorcists, and it was true we could in some cases help wandering, lost or suffering souls to find their way again; but our true purpose was the safety of the land, and of the emperor who was the symbol of Japan itself. Because of this, because of our apparent attachment to the person of the emperor--even though we could hardly be called retainers; the times when a Sumeragi had been summoned into the Descendant of the sun's presence in all those centuries could have been numbered on the fingers of a single hand--the generations of Tokugawa shoguns and the Bakufu had always been wary of us. There was an uneasy peace between them and our clan. And now that things were moving, *changing*.... The Shinsengumi had started to turn a watchful eye upon us. I smiled as I reached young Okita Soushi's side. I had hated him on first side, I had hated this young, arrogant and handsome captain who so obviously enjoyed parading with his troops in the streets and watching the fear they caused in people's hearts. I had hated him, and then I had almost immediately forgotten about him, until one night when I had been holding a lonely vigil in the shrine, meditating. I had suddenly felt *pain* cutting through the air. Unable to deny the perception, I had gone out to find that same young man leaning against the garden wall's outside, his head bowed and his right hand clutching the jacket over his chest. It was only then that I had heard the coughs raking his body, and that I had seen the blood on the fabric. On impulse, I had brought him back inside, and woken the whole house. I could still remember how my father had frozen in his steps when he had seen who and what I had welcomed under his roof. There had been no argument, but I had known at once my father would have left that disturbing guest lying in the street to face whatever Fate intended for him. Even though I more than shared his dislike, I had found I just couldn't abandon someone in need of help. I had watched over the young man until the worst of it had been over, and until his fever had dropped. When he had been himself again, and found out where he was, he had asked me why I hadn't run a knife through him instead of nursing him back to health. I had seen the smile on his lips as well as the glint in his eyes, and I had abruptly found an answering grin coming to my own face. In that moment, I had known I had found a kindred spirit in the person of this young captain. And so, despite who and what the both of us were, we had slowly become friends. He didn't trust the Sumeragi clan any more than I liked the Shinsengumi, but we were friends. No matter how impossible or insane that might be. "Why that distant, dreamy look on your face, Tokio-san?" I shrugged, tearing my mind from events past, and chuckled softly. "I was remembering things. How we met." He nodded wisely. "Ah." He paused while I squatted down beside him, then told me quietly, "That last move was almost perfect, you know.". He snorted. "If half of my recruits could match that, I'd be happy, but as it is...." He shrugged helplessly and then looked me right in the eye. "What's wrong, Tokio-san? What could have happened to disturb you so badly?" It all rushed back in then, fear clawing at my heart and making a painful lump in my throat. I blinked, surprised by the wild strength of the emotion, and eventually made myself break the silence, replying, "It's a matter internal to our clan. Nothing which concerns the current mundane problems, it's about..." I managed a weak smile, "the old seals which help in protecting the city's spiritual balance." I saw the spark of incredulity flashing in his eyes, to be almost instantly replaced by speculation. He considered my words for a while, and at last bowed shortly. "Thank you for telling me this, even though it's none of my business." His voice came down to a whisper. "From the feeling of you, I can tell how grave the matter must be. I cannot help you beyond making you work on focusing your mind, and teaching you never to show your emotions to the enemy or allow them to impair you." He rested a hand on my left shoulder, adding gently, earnestly, "Never forget who or what you are, Tokio-san. You have talent and skills you can be proud of. No matter what you may be faced with, that will always remain true. Always." His hand left my shoulder, and he smiled. "All right, I think we can call this a day. this lesson has been longer than usual, and I have to leave you." I stood up, and accompanied him to the house's entry gate. He started stepping over the threshold, and then suddenly stopped. Turning towards me, he said, "Oh, I almost forgot. You need to take care of your kodachi, I saw its blade was scratched. I'd advise you to have someone look at it." I watched him going away and disappearing behind a turn of the street, thinking to myself that Okita Soushi had the eyes of a hawk. I had left the blade unsheathed in my own room, in order to get a look at it after the night's encounter; and he had been able to judge its state in the few seconds for which we had walked along my room to reach the dojo. He hadn't asked why, even though he must suspect. He hadn't asked even though he was what he was and I what I was. Because we were friends. Looking up at the afternoon's sun with a hand on my brow to shade my eyes, I smiled warmly, and thought he had been right. The kodachi's blade needed mending. I stared at the pattern of straw strands which constituted the convenient traveler's hat that I had taken up the habit of wearing whenever I came to this place. On my right I could hear clangs and all sorts of metallic sounds resonating as the master craftsman and his two apprentices worked on blades of all kinds. I always tried to come to the smithy as late in the day as I could, when the sun was about to set and the shadows lengthened. There were fewer people in the streets then, and they were all focused on getting back home before nightfall, not on wondering about an oddly fragile-looking young man and the hat hiding his face almost completely. A woman had no business bringing a sword for an swordsmith to repair, which left me with little choice in the clothes I had to wear when coming here. Not that I minded in the slightest, of course. I grinned, chasing away a stray lock of jet black hair which was tickling my nose and wondering how the unruly thing had once more managed to win free of my pony tail. "Here, Tokio-san, it's done." I started as I heard the voice, and realized that one of the apprentices had come right beside me without my feeling his presence or hearing his approach. "Shatku-sensei was busy hardening the blade of a new sword, so I was the one who took care of it. It's whole again." I looked up at the tall young man who was perhaps one or two years older than I was, and smiled, bowing. "My thanks, Keisuke-san. I'm really sorry to have come in like this, without warning you first, but--" He waved my apology aside, smiling back. "Don't worry, please. It's a pleasure to see you at the smithy; indeed," he grinned at me, and I distinctly saw a glint of mischief in his utterly black eyes as he added, "I'd like it if you came more often. Your presence is an inspiration." I snorted disdainfully. "Banter, Keisuke-san, banter. You should know better than to try and play that game with a tomboy such as I am." I carefully retrieved the kodachi he was holding out to me, and set it at my side. It was true I liked coming here and chat with carefree Keisuke, who behaved around me as if I wasn't an oddity who shouldn't have existed. Who flirted with me as if I was one of those beautiful women men always tried to seduce. I was about to take my leave when suddenly laughter vanished from the young man's eyes. He reached out to me in an incredibly quick movement, and before I could react his hand closed upon mine. He pulled me towards him, and said earnestly, "I know the kind of scratch your kodachi blade bore, I know where they come from." I didn't reply, unable to do anything but stare at him, eyes wild with surprise and shock. "Please be careful, and take care of yourself, Tokio-san." He bent over me, and whispered softly in my ear, "Remember that one day I want to see you wearing a kimono." Blood rushed to my cheeks as I felt his warm breath on my neck. My heart was beating so fast it echoed within, choking almost all the other sounds. Shaking the shock and the unnamed emotion which had assaulted my heart and nigh well overcome it away, I stepped back in the same time he released me. Staring at him steadily, master of myself once more, I told him quietly, "One day you will go too far, Keisuke-san, and you will find yourself with a black eye, a bruise on your cheek, or..." I smiled pleasantly, adding, "a severe pain in a more vulnerable part of your body." Sobering, I concluded, "I am not a fool, and neither are you. There are limits which you should know better than to cross." There was a short moment of silence, then he smiled, nodding. "I know, trust me. But you should also know that I mean everything I told you." He reached out to me one last time, his fingertips brushing my left cheek as he said softly, "Ours is a game, certainly, but games can become extremely serious sometimes." I closed my hand over his, and pulled it away from me, shrugging. "They can be." I grinned at him, refusing to listen to the part of me which kept whispering that Keisuke just might mean what he had said, and I told him ironically, "But it will take much more than banter usually reserved for stupid teenaged girls to convince me of that." I bowed slightly. "It was nice fencing with you, Keisuke-san..." I turned away and concluded, right before reaching the smithy's exit, "as it always is." Once safely out of earshot, I whistled softly in the street, shaking my head. My, but this match had been a close one! I chuckled silently as I realized that during my visit to the smithy all thoughts of the problems weighing heavily upon my heart had simply vanished. Smiling to myself, I thought it was always worth it to come to this place, even when one didn't need a sword to be repaired. Oh yes, it was worth the walk for this strange and bold young man who was my only friend beside Okita Soushi. It was definitely well worth the walk to visit Sakurazuka Keisuke. I watched the young woman as she exited the smithy and smiled. She was a strange and wild one, which only added to the fun. Yes, Sumeragi Tokio was a more than unlikely heir for the Sumeragi clan, but still...she would at least be more interesting to deal with than her father. She had come close to death recently, I could tell by the marks on the kodachi she had given me for repair, and yet that didn't seem to have daunted her spirit. Good. I had felt the worry in her heart, of course. Try though she might, she couldn't hide that completely. It seeped into her aura like small tendrils of crimson red blood. Being what she was, she was bound to have picked up the growing unbalance over the city, even if her father had certainly kept her out of the matter to protect her, to protect the next clan head. I was aware of the existence of her younger brother, and of the hopes the Sumeragi had he could replace her so as not to have a woman leading them. Stupid conservative fools. The boy was of no interest, even if he was talented enough, it would take him years to master his art, whereas Tokio was almost ready. I had never risked trying to spy the young woman too closely to gauge her strength, but then I would find that out soon enough. I grinned ferally in the solitude of the smithy's yard. I had told Sumeragi Yuunosuke our game had started; had he realized what that meant? He had a fascinating and rebellious daughter who was far stronger than she looked, far stronger than most men, but.... There was one weakness in the young woman, a single weakness I knew, and intended to have fun playing with. It was time I made true the words I had told Tokio's father. The sun was setting over the horizon when I heard the scream. It was a cry of terror, despair and pain. And it was close, *very* close. Denying the cold feeling in the pit of my stomach, I ran ahead, my left hand on the kodachi's hilt. I didn't have to go far. When I reached the crossroads after the street's next turn, I saw a slumped shape in the shadow of a wall, half hidden by the ivy covering the stones. There was nobody else around. No sound. I quickly stepped towards the unmoving shape, and knelt beside it. Dead. Dead, but-- I heard a harsh hiss, distantly aware it had come from me. I felt my body shaking in reaction to the feeling choking the air around me. There was a small pool of blood forming next to the man's chest, where a sword had run through his heart, but it wasn't what had killed him. Oh no, that was only a cover-up to turn this into one of the countless murders which happened every night in Kyoto. What had killed him was.... Terror. Terror at feeling the life being sucked out of him. I fought to regain control, to breathe normally, but the feeling in the air was so terribly *strong*.... The spell hadn't even finished to disperse, I could feel its texture, its structure swirling around me in graceful filaments of light shaping patterns which were both familiar and alien. Onmyoujutsu, yes, but not the one the Sumeragi practiced. At last, my heart stopped hurting in my chest and I made myself think the name of the murderer. The ghostly opposite of our clan, the shadow which had existed beside it since the beginning. The assassin. The elders hadn't taught me much about him beyond the fact that it seemed he was always alone, always one, not a clan like us, and that he used Onmyoujutsu to kill. It seemed he was a mystery. At times, I had allowed myself to believe he was only a legend used to frighten unruly novices such as I had been into obedience. Wishful thinking. Stupid wishful thinking. My fingers gingerly brushed the man's face, as if of their own volition, and closed the eyes in which death had only left terror and despair. All around me, the spell had finished dispersing, its shining filaments of light fading into the growing darkness of the falling night. I looked at the man, observed his clothes but saw nothing special about him. Why? Why had the assassin chosen this non-descript man? Chance? Or...could he have done it because of me? He had told my father he had started a game between them, so it was possible.... No. No, it couldn't be. It would have meant the Sakurazukamori knew me, knew *me* under the man's guise I used. It would have meant the assassin knew me at least as well as my parents did. As Okita Soushi and perhaps Sakurazuka Keisuke did. It would have meant he would have known I was going to the smithy. No, I was really allowing my imagination to get the best of me. I had no need for the vagaries of my mind just now. It was likely there was a perfectly logical explanation for this murder. The man might also have been targeted by someone who had hired the assassin's services. Yes, that had to be it. There was no real sound as I turned my head, in a slow motion. Instinct was the only thing which warned me of danger. In a flash, I saw three men coming silently for me. Silently, like wolves. I recognized the colors and design of the Shinsengumi on their jackets in the blink of an eye and moved, allowing reflexes to take over as I pushed on the ground with my right foot, using all my weight and gathering enough impetus to jump over the corpse. They were bound to think I had killed the poor guy. And they wouldn't stop to ask question or search for proof. Hell. Something grasped my left sleeve, pulling me back. In a desperate move, I reached for the hat still hiding my face and turned, wildly throwing it at my pursuer. I got a quick glimpse of the man's thin, angular face, and I saw his eyes. A name came to the fore of my mind as I saw the look in those dark eyes in which burnt a fire as cold as ice. Time froze. Surprise flashed in those frightening eyes as the hat hit him at the throat, and then I tore myself free in a frantic, wild movement. I ran madly, focused solely on escape. If they caught me.... I ran, trying to control the mad laughter rising within me as I thought that all this was getting to be too much for the weak, frail woman that I was. First the Sakurazukamori threatening my father, playing with Kyoto's spiritual balance, then the red-haired samurai, his blade stopping as it was about to skewer me, and now this. Diving for the shadows, I ran in the night. Ran. Ran. Ran. End of Part 1. -- This is the year of the hungry man / This is the year of the guilty man Whose place is in the past / Your television takes a stand Hand in hand with ignorance / And you find that what was over there And legitimate excuses / is over here The rich declare themselves poor / So you scream behind your door It's so hard to love, there's so much to hate.... (G.Michael / Praying for Time) --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Get great offers on top-notch products that match your interests! 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