Special thanks to Sylvia for reading this through for me.

A Sword's Memory

By Jade-One

"Nani?!" The voice was confused, exasperated and questioning at the same time. It also sounded as if it was coming from a long distance, or echoing up from the bottom of a well.

"What?" it came again, closer this time, less indistinct. "What does my daughter see in this man?"

Kenshin's head shot up. He was no longer slouched against the wall in the Rakuninmura. His surroundings had changed. He was not in the bone field this time, but was instead surrounded by a luminous mist.

Another voice answered the question as two figures formed out of the mist. "Now anata, you know what she sees, even if at the moment, well...." The woman sighed.

Kenshin studied the figures. Like Shishio they appeared solid, but despite their words their auras were completely different. These were beings of light, Shishio Makoto was one of darkness. They were not threatening but he did not know them. The male was tall, his short hair was smoothed back and he had a neatly trimmed moustache. He was wearing a black hakama and a white gi. His bokutou was at his side. The woman was dressed in a light floral patterned kimono. Her long hair was confined by combs edged with blue setting off her eyes...

"Kao..." Kenshin started but stopped, dropping his head back down. The woman resembled her but was not.  Her eyes were the same blue but they were set just a hair wider than Kaoru's and the sweet heart shaped face was just slightly different.

"No," the woman said with a smile, "My name is Kieko, Kaoru-chan's Okasan."

"He's not listening to you, he's retreating into the past again..."

"Well, I only came to see him, it was you who came to talk, anata. I'll be waiting but remember to be gentle, he is having a bad time. The night before the day.  Sayonara Himura-san. Your pain will soon be gone." The woman faded, leaving her husband with the dejected sword master.

The man regarded the figure before him.  His clothes were tattered, doing nothing to hide his grievous wounds.  He was sitting, almost curled around his chained katana. He was not concerned with his environment. This was going to be more difficult than he had thought.

"Himura-dono?" There was no response.

"Himura-dono, I came here to talk to you. Will you divert from past memories long enough to listen to me?"

"I failed her. It could just have been my sword which killed her, it was my sword."

Kaoru's father sat before Kenshin. "But it was not your sword.  Your sword killed Himura Tomoe, but she forgave you. I know this. She forgave you before she died, didn't she?" he questioned bluntly.
 

He stood in the snow before exploding into motion. He would die yes, but the old man would accompany him. Live on Tomoe. Live in happiness in the new era. He screamed preparing to strike, what remained of his senses extended to their utmost "Let's gooooo!!!" But then, the Battousai's sword already in motion, his senses registered, this is...
    NOOooo!!! He tried to stop his sword, tried to deflect the blow, wished with every fiber of his being that their positions were reversed, even as he felt his sword connect. He felt the resistance against his swing which he knew so well and felt the two souls lost to his sword. This is the... scent of white... plums...  The scent of white plums and blood.

A slight pain touched his cheek but it was nothing. "Tomoe..." He had cried, ignoring the other body in the snow. "Tomoe... Tomoe... Why?... Why?..."

Her hand, always so soft, reached up to touch his cheek and she smiled, her entire being radiant from that simple gesture as she whispered "It's better this way... so please don't cry..." Her eyes had glazed and closed and her breath left her body as he felt her soul depart.

"to..mo..e  TOMOEE!!" he had screamed over her body as if his will could seal her wound and force her to live.
    It's better this way... so please don't cry...

"Hai." The word was reluctant, forced. "But I still failed Kaoru-dono. If I hadn't become involved with your daughter she wouldn't be dead. She would be happy, alive." A vision of Kaoru's body slumped against the dojo wall, appeared to Kenshin. Her eyes were still, lifeless, their sparkle was gone. Her whole body was cold.

"You didn't fail her. You saved her. Himura Gohei, Jin'eh, Yakuza, Rai juta, Shura's subordinate.  You are quite correct though, when you told her when you first met, the only thing the dead want is happiness for the living. You give her that."

"But if I wasn't there, none of things would have happened. None of them would have threatened her."

"You are wrong. The dead see all possibilities, all futures, so I know exactly what you presence has meant to her.  What it has done for her life and what she had done for you. But truly, could you see my daughter letting Yahiko remain with the Yakuza? Your presence merely meant she became aware of him sooner. And if you hadn't of been there, things would not have gone so well. Himura-dono, the only event directly linked to you is Jin'eh.  But I wouldn't put it past my daughter to have gotten involved in that anyway.  My daughter is strong, she doesn't care about Jin'eh, she cares about you.  For being there for her, I thank you Himura-dono."

"She's dead because of me," Kenshin cried, emotion showing for the first time. "Enishi is my sin, my past, my pain, inflicted upon her.  That is all because of me. She is dead because of me!"

"Perhaps," Kaoru's father replied, meeting the violet eyes. "But there are others waiting, depending on you. Kamiya Kasshin's sword is to protect those you love. There are still those you love who need your protection and guidance. Are you going to neglect both the Hiten and Kasshin teachings?"

"How can I neglect them when I failed them. I failed to protect her."

"Do you really believe that? Can you be sure? You don't see her with me, do you?"

"No."

"And you didn't see her die did you?"

"No."

"Then, how do you know my daughter's dead?"

"I saw the body," Kenshin sobbed.

"Ano, and since when has a body been enough to convince the Hitokiri Battousai of death. No, the only thing you accepted was the felling of death through your sword." He moved the point of his bokutou below Kenshin's chin, forcing eye contact, "Well?"

"That is the past. This sword is not for killing."

"True. That sword truly follows Kasshin Ryu. It is a sword to protect life, but it still knows when death has occurred. It will tell you, if you will listen to the Sakabatou Shinuchi." He held the sword masters eye's, questioning, challenging. He removed his bokutou while quirking one eyebrow to ask the question Well?
    "Swords cannot tell death after the fact."

"Humph!" It seems any excuse will do! But it is my task to push past this, to get him to think about what has happened and to make him see that she is waiting for him! Or Enishi will have won. Kasshin Ryu will not accept defeat in this battle. "True enough. But here," He gestured to the mists, "you are no longer confined to the mere physical properties of a sword. The soul of the sword can speak here but it is your decision if you listen or not, if you will embrace that skill of Kasshin Ryu. At the very least, you will know for sure and you will have a part of your answer... All you need to do is draw your sword, here, now and listen. It will show you the truth." How long are you going to make my daughter wait. How long will you make her unhappy. How long before you admit you love her and ask her that question. You can not run from that forever Rurouni.

"This sword did not kill her."

"So you admit it?"

"This sword did not physically kill her, and although she died because of this sword it can not tell me about something it did not do."

You are a stubborn man, Himura. "At least you admit that your sword did not kill her. You wish to use Enishi's sword to see the truth, fine then Himura-dono." Kamiya finished, placing his bokutou on what passed for ground beside him and holding out both hands. The mists gathered into his hands before spiraling out and condensing to form a long blade with ornate tassels, Yukishiro Enishi's sword. "If you must question his blade before you will accept the answer from your own then you may listen to his blade first."

Kamiya held the blade before Kenshin, who made no move to accept it. "Himura-dono, I am not leaving until you do this. If you wish me to go and leave you in peace, it would be faster to humor me. My task here can be accomplished easily now, or in a few days my daughter will visit you and I can guarantee, you will not like what she will have to say to you. That is not an event you should look forward to. Listen now, while the sun can still rise and this can be called the darkest dawn. But if you refuse, you will have killed the flower of light and you will follow my daughter into death, failing all the people who need you...

"Take. Up. This. Sword. And listen to what it tells you. Then draw your sword and learn the truth.  After that, you can make your own decisions and I shall leave you in peace to pursue your chosen future, what ever that may be. But I am not leaving until I am satisfied that I have done my best to ensure happiness for the living..." And that includes your half dead carcass Himura. I will not let my daughter remain unhappy. I will not let Enishi win. Kamiya Kasshin Ryu will not fail in this battle.

Kenshin looked up. Why wouldn't this man just go away? He had failed her. He had failed them all.  He was of no use to the living. It would be for the best if he died. He was not fit to live among them. Why couldn't this man understand this and just leave him alone. If he was alone, he couldn't care for anyone and they couldn't be hurt because of him. Why couldn't this man see this and just leave him alone? Why did this man continue to question, to challenge him to do things he did not wish to do?

Another tiny part of his soul answered. He wants you to live both the Mitsurugi and Kasshin beliefs. He wants you to care for and protect those who still need you. Because all he wants is happiness for the living, which, despite everything, is what you still are.

An even smaller part of his mind registered a final thought that was completely lost in the turmoil of other thoughts, other memories to be heard. Kamiya-dono has never once referred to Kaoru-dono being dead. But wouldn't his soul know hers is in this realm? He has shown that he knows far more than he should. Maybe he doesn't know or maybe...

Kenshin looked up, his eyes narrowing as he regarded the sword which had 'killed' his beloved, lying across her father's outstretched hands. The blade had not changed. It was still long, cold, the perfect killing blade, not just of life but of hope. If he took up that blade, Kamiya-dono had said that he would learn the truth. Blades holding the memories of their deeds was a concept he could accept but was he ready to accept the truth it held?

"Take up this sword, Himura-dono, you are ready for the truth it holds. You would not be here if you were not. The truth can hurt, but it will help you find your answers." Kamiya held the sword before Kenshin, waiting for him to reach out for the hilt.

He stirred, moving his right arm from where it had fallen, lying across his body, draped across his sword. He reached out slowly as Kamiya-dono held the sword steady. Finally his hand was over the hilt. All he had to do was clasp the sword and it would do the rest. His brilliant violet eyes closed briefly.  When he reopened them they had changed. They were blue and focused only on the blade and whatever it could tell him. Inwardly Kamiya smiled. The true warrior, the man his daughter loved was slowly returning.

Back in the Rakuninmura, Kenshin's body remained unmoving, the birds continued to fly around him, using his sword and him as a convenient perch, but a tiny, almost imperceptible crack appeared in one of the chain links.

Kenshin watched his hand, hovering over Enishi's sword. What would he see? He closed his eyes, gathering his strength for what ever would come before opening them, focused only on the blade and its memories, closing his hand around the bare blade and gently taking it from Kamiya-dono. His pupils widened to their utmost, consuming the iris as memories not his own filled his vision.

End Part 1