From: Joy Allo!! here's my first try at a Vid fic, first of, I'd like to thank Sakka-san for allowing me to borrow some scenes from her fic "These Changing Times" While this was inspired by that particular fic, this ending HAS NOTHING to do with the real ending 'kay? Once again, my ending has *nothing* to do with her's!! I'd also like to thank her again for proofreading this and for the changes she made to help me improve this work! A big thank you!! The song was sang by Tommy Page, I saw my old, old tapes while fixing my stuff and I came across his tape, I played it and when this song came up, I immediately remembered "These Changing Times" anywayz.. on with it!!! Once again, Thank you Sakka-san! ****************************************************************** [the lyrics] (scenes from Aoshi's memory, or a scene from "These Changing Times") Just Before (I was gonna say I Love You) sang by Tommy Page *written by Joy* Disclaimer: The characters here do not belong to me. Done purely for stress relief ;) ******************************************************************* "Just Before (I was gonna say I Love You)" "There is nothing more to say, Okina," Aoshi stated quite flatly as he rose from his sitting position. Okina looked at Aoshi, trying to see any trace of pain, sadness, and regret. There was none. Okina sweated from his position. He knew he would be treading on dangerous ground if he asked Aoshi in detail about Misao and Sagara Sanosuke. It was best to wait for Misao's news. "Very well then. It is good that the Oniwabanshuu name has been cleared..." Aoshi nodded his head and walked out of the room, and headed for the temple. Alone within the temple walls, he let out a shaky breath, and the tides of emotion he held back from Okina slowly swirled to the surface and threatened to engulf him as he remembered the events that led to this outcome. [music starts] [And I recall the night when my heart was shattered in two] Aoshi remembered seeing Misao for the first time after he left, looking so much more like a woman than the girl he remembered, arm in arm with Sagara. [It took me so long, to find my thoughts expressive to you] "Sayonara..." his own farewell rang cold in his ears. That word seemed to have driven Misao away from him, and into Sagara's arms. All he wanted to say to Misao, will now remain unsaid. [I've waited all my life, thinking love will never come my way] (Aoshi, alone in the temple meditating, sensing a young Misao watching him) [and right before my eyes you killed my dreams with what you had to say] "Aoshi-sama..." Misao's voice faltered as she spoke to him. Aoshi kept his gaze away from her, and simply nodded his head to acknowledge her. He cannot, no.. will not allow his feelings to be revealed, yet. He heard her shift nervously as she cleared her throat. "I.. I won't be returning to Kyoto with you.." Aoshi turned towards her, his heart hammering, a voice whispering to him that he was too late. "I see. Why is that?" he asked, even though he knew what her answer was already. [and it took me some time to find the words, but I didn't get a chance to be heard] (Aoshi remembers how Misao looked at Sano after the fight, and at that moment realises that he was too late, and Misao has fallen for Sano) [You told me....] Misao stared at Aoshi, her voice in a soft whisper "Sano and I..." [Just before I was about to say that I need you] (Aoshi clenched his fists at his side, his heart beating wildly at Misao's response. He wanted to deny her that request. That she can't stay in Tokyo, that she can't stay with Sano) [Just before I was about to show, my heart was true] "I see, and I gather that Sagara feels the same way?" he asked in what he hoped was a detached tone. His heart was hammering against his chest, screaming for him to tell her how he feels, how he really feels. But as before, he ignored it. "How long has this been going on?" [You said that you were seeing another love] Her reply nearly shattered him. "Not that long, Aoshi-sama.." "You love him then?" [someone youv'e been dreaming of,] Time stood still as the evening breeze embraced them both. Misao smiled faintly. "Hai..." [all this time I never knew] Aoshi stares blankly at the temple walls, jolting himself back from his memories and took deep breaths. *Did you really think she'd wait for you?* a voice inside him whispers. [You told me, just before, just before, just before..] (He remembers Misao telling him of her descision to stay longer in Tokyo to be with Sano) [I was gonna say I love you...] "I love him, Aoshi-sama..." her voice echoes inside the walls. [Only one moment, I lost visions of heaven to be] (Sano chose that moment to appear besides Misao and placed his hands over Misao like a protective gesture.) "I love her too, Shinomori..." [I said to myself, I was happier being lonely] "There was nothing between us Misao, there never will be... Sayonara." That particular scene haunted Aoshi since he left Kyoto, but he convinced himself that it was the right thing to do. ['cause love is the worst pain I've ever felt, my heart is aching and my soul just melts] Aoshi started meditating and did what he has always done. He ignored the pain in his heart and sought comfort in the serenity of his meditation, perhaps knowingly punishing himself for the grief he has caused Misao. [Just before I was about to say, I need you] *Too late...* the voice continued to say over his head as he looked at Sano and Misao [Just before I was about to show, my heart was true] (He remembers seeing Misao in action, catching Umari with her kunai) [you said that you've been seeing another love] (Okina looked absolutely suprised to hear the news of Misao's plan to stay longer in Tokyo for Sano, Aoshi briefly wondered if Omasu and Okon knew about Sagara and Misao since, in contrast, they did not seem surprised) [someone you've been dreaming of,] (He remembers seeing Misao and Sano kissing passionately outside the gate to Kamiya dojo late one night...) [you told me] "I love him, Aoshi-sama.." [just before, just before, just before] Aoshi looked at Misao and Sano and nodded his head, his expression betraying his own feelings. "I will tell Okina of your descision, then." [I was gonna say I love you] Alone in the temple, and still Aoshi refused to bow down to his feelings -- after all, he reasoned, he was too late. He looked out of the window and was surpised to see the rising sun. "Be happy, Misao..." ~end~ --------------- Author's ramblings: I'm done! I'm done, whew! comments and criticism is absolutely welcome! but please, I beg of you... spare me!! Once again, my thanks to Sakka-san for making this fic a possibility!! --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Books, music, auctions, and more. Amazon.com! Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------