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(*Author's Note: This has spoilers for up to episode 62. You have been warned.)
He had seen so little of her since his return, except the visions of her that intruded into his meditations at the temple. He knew above all else he needed time to find himself once again after losing himself so completely, trying to find exactly when and where he went wrong.
He analyzed every single decision he could recall trying to find which decisions were made for the right reasons and which one for empty, selfish ones.
It didn't settle easily with him that he owed this second chance at life to Kenshin, one he had named an enemy for no real reason but shallow ones. Nor did it settle easily with him the things he had done, gotten his Oniwabanshuu killed, worked for a dishonorable drug supplier, tried to kill Okina, and cause Misao to not only cry but forced her to declare him an enemy.
Admiting that he had been wrong, realizing the error of his ways had been difficult, but the most difficult thing had been returning home. He would have left if not for the promise Kenshin had made, if not for the fact that the one who saved him was critically injured, and because despite it all, he wanted to tell them he was sorry.
Every step had been powered by a sheer amount of willpower, every step was a war. But a part of him whispered "You ran away once, you'd be a fool to do so again."
As he walked to the Aoiya, he heard the commotion of those there recognizing him and the ones he was with. He heard feet running, but he couldn'' look up. He expected for them to all go to Kenshin, or expected a few to come to him followed by some slaps or punches... but when he looked up he saw Misao, her glorious bright eyes, brimming over with tears.
Misao… I shouldn't have come back, but the thought was stilled as she threw her arms around him.
"Aoshi-sama! I'm so glad you're back."
She looked up happily into his face only to chuckle at the expression there, he looks like a deer that sees it's death coming…. She started chuckling softly.
"Baka," she smiled and hugged him again for good measure. She let him go as she smiled at him and winked.
"Kaoru, I'll go get a doctor. Be back in a few."
She turned around back to Aoshi as she ran on her way and yelled at him. "You better be here when I get back!"
He was there when she got back, she smiled at him briefly as she went about helping those in need of it, until finally everyone had settled in for a much deserved rest. Fighting yawns she sought him out.
She found him in some quiet, slightly less damaged corner of what had been the gardens of the Aoiya, sitting down on a impromptu bench of shattered wood.
"Aoshi-sama, you should be resting."
He looked up at her, " Perhaps, I just don't feel like sleeping."
She wordlessly perched beside him, and the two sat in a companionable silence for a while.
"Did the Doctor find you before he left? I wanted him to look at those wounds of yours."
Aoshi blinked in surprise, so much had happened he hadn't even thought of his wounds, and he knew better than to let a wound go untreated.
"No he didn't."
"Nani!?! Ok, then you really are stupid!"
"I am," he said quietly. "Aoshi….," she sadly whispered.
"Misao, I'm sorry, it'll never be enou-"
"Aoshi, I don't care. All I care about is that you've come home. Life is about living, and to do so we make mistakes. Let's just hoped you learned from this one."
"I did…" he replied introspectively.
"Good, I'll be right back!"
She rushed off and picked up some bandages and some ointment and returned, stripping what was left of his shirt off, and gingerly cleaned, treated, and bandaged the deep gouges in his chest.
He was surprised to see how much she had changed since he left her all those years ago. She's grown up, she's changed. She's more tempered, more mature, and her heart is as it always was… gentle…. He closed his eyes glad to be home, glad that she had been wiser than he, and forgiving.
She finished bandaging the wounds, awe filled her with the power of Kenshin's blows and the power of his promise. He's home, Kenshin I owe you so much, you have to pull through….
"I'm finished, and you looked finished. Get some sleep. You need it."
"Yes mother."
She wrinkled her nose at that, "Very funny."
"And you should get some sleep too."
"I will once all the brats are in bed."
She smiled at him mischievously and made a face, and funny how a thing like that could warm his heart. As he took his leave of her and took the suggested sleep.
He had awaken and decided that this may be his home but he was yet unworthy of it, he left for the temple, and had been practically living there. As soon as he woke to when he could no longer sleep he stayed there. Deeply immersed in the murky waters of his soul, trying to sift the dirt through.
* * * * *
That first morning when Misao woke and couldn't find Aoshi, Okina had told her where he was, she went to run off after him, but his hand on his shoulder stopped her.
"Misao, he needs time to figure things out. It would be best to leave him be for a while."
She frowned and closed her eyes but trusted Okina and nodded her head signifying that she would give him time.
Time passed and Kenshin slowly recovered, the Aoiya was slowly rebuilt as they stayed at a nearby establishment. It was hard on Misao to let Aoshi be…. Every night she heard him come in when all were sleeping, from her room, and sighed an internal sigh of relief knowing he was there before she could finally drift off into slumber.
She worried if the wounds were healing right, if he was getting enough to eat, and realized just how apt those words had been, she was acting like a mother. When that rain shower had come from nowhere she didn't want Aoshi getting a cold from walking home wet, so she rushed to the temple and left an umbrella on the temple steps, one he would find when he left, consciously trying not to disturb him.
As the rainbow broke it was like an omen, she hadn't seen a rainbow since before she had left to look for Aoshi, and seeing it uplifted her spirits, she couldn't help it, she indulged in the childish urge to skip as she admired it, unknowing that Aoshi saw her, and that in the longest time he could recall, he smiled, from the heart.
Later that night he came in late and paused outside her door, it'd been so long since he had actually seen her up close, he cracked the door open, looking on what he thought to be her sleeping face.
Why did I never realize just how much I missed her, how much her smile affects me? How much those tears cause me pain.
He gazed on her, her disheveled hair making her more beautiful and he smiled again, the second time that day.
He went to close the door when he heard a mumble
"Aoshi-sama?," blinked feigned sleepy eyes. "Hai."
"Is something wrong?"
"No," he replied shaking his head slightly. "Everything's right. I wanted to say thank you, for never giving up on me.
She smiled in the darkness of her room.
"It was nothing, you showed even more patience and faith when I struggled for those months trying to get that kick down, when I was little and scared, or struggling, or alone, you or the others were always there. How could I do any less."
He shook his head words failing him, Misao saw the look and despite the lack of words knew what he meant, thought she knew what he was thinking.
"Get some sleep, Aoshi-sama."
"Hai," he slid the door shut and went to his room, Misao was awake smiling softly. She knew that he wouldn't leave unexpectedly in the night again, and that he was well on the way to recovery.