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*Author's Note: (Of course, after I wrote the following fanfic, someone told me it was all wrong! *SIGHS* According to volume one of the manga, Kaoru's father died 6 months roughly before Kenshin appeared in Kaoru's life. So the following fic has inconsistencies with this, but I'm not going to change it. But at least you know ^_^.)
Kenshin quietly left his room, heading towards the kitchen to start in on breakfast before the rest of the household was awake. But before he went to the kitchen he made the rounds, checking to make sure that everyone was truly safe. He could tell by Yahiko’s snores that he was perfectly fine. He walked by Kaoru’s room and was surprised to find her door open. He frowned and quietly went through the rest of the dojo.
He heard noises in the kitchen, so he quietly crept along. He realized before he turned the last corner that it was no enemy, but was Kaoru. He walked casually into the kitchen, and was greeted with the site of Kaoru cooking some rice.
“ORO?”
“Ohayou, Kenshin,” replied a subdued Kaoru without even turning around.
“Ohayou Kaoru-dono. You’re usually not up this early.”
“Hmmm, I have some errands to run.”
“If you scoot over I’ll help with breakfast.”
She wordlessly scooted over. Kenshin sidled up beside her and started cleaning and preparing some vegetables. They worked in an uneasy silence.
“Kenshin, please hand me a knife.”
“Hai,” he said as he handed her the knife receiving the first look at her face all morning.
“Kaoru-dono, daijobu (are you okay)?”
“Nani? Oh… I didn’t sleep well last night.”
The dark circles under her eyes were clear evidence of that. Kenshin had never known her not to sleep unless she was worried, but somehow it was more than that. She was so subdued and quiet, without the usual spark of life in her eyes.
“Kaoru-dono-“
“The rice is ready! Are the vegetables done yet?”
“Hai…”
“Then let’s eat.”
Kenshin watched Kaoru as she took the food into the other room, wondering why she had cut him off. It was not her way.
“Should I wake Yahiko?”
“No, let him sleep in for once. I do not want to hear his grumbles this morning, and there is no real need for him to wake up early today. And the food will keep till he wakes.”
“Hai.”
Kenshin joined her for their silent breakfast. He could tell by the way she picked at her food that she did not feel much like eating. It was more as if she was forcing herself to eat. Finally, she gave up the pretense and set her food down.
“I’ll be back later,” she replied with a tinge of huskiness in her voice. She swiftly left the dojo.
Nani? Kenshin thought as he saw something glisten in the sunlight. A tear? Kaoru-dono is crying….
* * * * *
Yahiko woke in a daze, his sleep-fuddled mind trying to figure out why the sun was coming in at that angle. After a few moments, he realized why. It was almost midday. He could not fathom why Kaoru had not come to rudely awaken him and nag at him to ready himself for practice. He rushed to his feet, got dressed quickly and searched for his sensei.
* * * * *
"OI!," Yahiko called out as he saw the retreating red-haired Kenshin turning the corner, "Kenshin!."
"Oro?" replied Kenshin as he turned around to face Yahiko.
"Have you seen Kaoru?"
Kenshin blinked thoughtfully, and smiled. "She woke early this morning, she told me she had some errands to run in town."
"Hmph! And we were supposed to have a lesson this morning!"
Yahiko stormed off towards the dojo to get some practice in.
Kenshin smiled amusedly and turned around, as he saw Sano walking through the dojo gate.
"Hey Kenshin!" hailed a cheerful Sano as he watched Yahiko blow through towards the dojo.
"Konnichiwa Sano."
"What's got the runt all fired up? Kaoru and him get in another dispute?"
"Oh, no. He is mad cause she had to run some errands and missed practice."
"NANI? That little runt always complains about morning practice! Man, he is a walking irony. So Kenshin, what's for lunch?"
Kenshin looked at Sano somewhat disbelieving, and sighed amusedly.
"Rice and miso soup. It should be done in a little while."
"Good cause I'm starving!"
* * * * *
Kaoru sighed deeply as she slowly sank to the floor in a kneeling position. She inhaled the scent of the incense deeply, and closed her eyes offering up her silent prayers to her departed dear ones, as she sat alone in the old temple on the outskirts of town.
She always came here on the anniversary of her father's death. He had died in a battle and his corpse had been buried near the battle-site. She had no true grave to go too, so she would go to this temple, the temple her father had brought her too when she was a little girl. Her mother was buried near the temple, and Kaoru had already visited her mother's grave.
It was always her father's death she had a hard time dealing with. Perhaps cause she felt like she had to keep his ideals alive, especially since his death had been in conflict with those ideals. A man sworn not to kill, but only defend, forced to fight in a battle where he was expected to kill. When he had left, though she might have been young, she knew it was her father's death sentence.
A tear rolled down her cheeks as she remembered….
"Father, please don't go. I don't want you to go." Kaoru had said tugging on the hem of her father's shirt as she looked sadly at him.
"Kaoru-chan, I don't want to go either. I would rather be here with mother, and you, as well as my students. But some duties, some responsibilities cannot be shirked or ignored."
He had knelt and picked up his musume (daughter) in his arms for what would be the last time. He held her for a long time, his own eyes closed in an effort to fight back the threatening tears. He let out the breath he was holding and forced a smile.
"I love you, Kaoru-chan,” he said as he kissed her forehead and brushed the bangs off her brow. “Take good care of your mother for me. And keep those students of mine in line."
Kaoru stood there too numb for words but nodded her head meekly.
"My, how time flies, you have become a lady now." Her father observed, with clouded eyes. He ruffled her hair one last time, embraced his wife looked into her eyes as he gently wiped away her tears, and walked out the door resolute.
For Kaoru time had passed at a crawl before she came home one day from practice to find her mother sobbing in her room. Her mother had heard her foot steps, and reached out a hand towards Kaoru. Kaoru with fear in her heart grasped her mothers hand.
Her mother looked up with tears flowing down her face, "Kaoru, your father is dead."
Kaoru stood shock still, rooted in place, only the tears that fell against her mother and her's joined hands were the only sign of recognition of her father's death from Kaoru.
Kaoru never really knew what had happened to her mother, she just began to fade. After that day she never saw her mother smiling, and as time passed her health worsened. Till one day she passed on, leaving Kaoru alone.
"I miss you guys," she barely whispered and wiped the tears from her eyes, took a few calming breaths, and set out back for home.
* * * * *
Kenshin was finishing up the laundry, hanging the clothes to dry as he saw Kaoru-dono return home from the corner of his eye. He could tell by the stony expression on her face that something was wrong. With a slight frown he finished hanging the clothes up to air, and went into the dojo to speak with Kaoru.
* * * * *
Kaoru walked into her room and very quietly but deftly slid the door shut behind her. With a reverence approaching a religious ceremony, she very cautiously moved over to an old trunk, formally sank down to her knees, and removed from folds of fabric an old katana, and placed it in her lap. Then she reached back into the trunk and pulled out a weathered looking journal, placing it to her side carefully.
She unwrapped an old faded hair scarf from around the sheath of the katana, and let it fall mercuriously into her lap. She took the scarf holding her hair back out of her hair, her hair tumbling down, hiding her face in shadow. She slowly pulled the katana from its sheath and ran her old hair scarf across the edge of the blade, her silk scarf cutting cleanly…
Kenshin approached the door to Kaoru's room, and stood outside unsure if he should knock and disturb her, or let her be. He heard the rasp of metal against sheath, and was alarmed, when he heard the soft hiss of the silk he burst into the room.
"Kaoru-dono, don't….."
His voice trailed off, as he realized that he had made a BIG mistake.
Kaoru looked up, red-rimmed surprised eyes pierced Kenshin's through her veil of hair, as she quickly bopped him over the head.
"BAKA! Just what do you think you are doing bursting into my room like that?!"
"Gomen, but I thought…."
"You thought…. You thought I was trying to take my life?!"
Kenshin's bowed head was all the proof she needed.
"How could you think that, it would be against all my beliefs. I thought you knew me better than that by now."
"Gomensai," he turned on his heel to leave. He began walking out as he slid the door shut behind him.
"Kenshin," sighed Kaoru, pausing him in his tracks. "Its okay, I'm not angry with you. I know you were just concerned."
Kenshin felt the weight of guilt lift off his shoulders, and he turned back around to face Kaoru.
Kaoru had her head bowed, her hands nervously picking at one another in her lap, her hair hiding her face. She motioned with her head for him to sit down.
He sat down unsure of what was happening or what was to come.
"Today is the anniversary of my father's death."
The words sprang from a very sad, dark void within Kaoru, Kenshin looked at her with surprised and sympathetic eyes.
"This sword has been in the Kamiya family for generations, it was my fathers and he used it before he founded his own school. This journal was my fathers, full of his thoughts and recollections of the years he was with my family."
With ice cold hands she placed the journal in his hands.
"Could you do me a favor Kenshin?"
Kenshin blinked confusedly but replied promptly, "Hai." "Read that to me, please."
Kenshin looked at the book and back up at her.
"Are you sure?" he asked in all sincerity.
"Hai, please read it to me."
Kenshin slowly turned the pages till he found the first entry and began reading…
Kaoru closed her eyes, her hair enfolding her in privacy. With the steady cadence of Kenshin's gentle voice she was lulled back into memories. Memories of how her Dad had comforted and dispelled her fears when she lost her first tooth. Of the time mother had come down with the high fever and almost died. Of how on her ninth birthday she talked man to man with her father and convinced him to teach her his budo.
As Kenshin read from one entry to the next, Kaoru relived the memories. Bitter sweet smiles quickly changed to sad tears for Kaoru. Kenshin kept a concerned eye on her as he read, wondering why Kaoru was allowing him this insight into something so personal to her. He was surprised when he had come to the end of the journal. He looked up uncertainly, surprised that he truly saw Kaoru in true focus for the first time.
Several moments past, and Kaoru covertly rubbed at her eyes and took a few deep breaths.
"Arigatou, Kenshin," she said in a subdued husky voice.
Kenshin was quiet a while. Then he gently put the journal on the floor beside him and reached out towards Kaoru. He parted her silky locks, and gently brushed the last remnant of tears from her puffy swollen eyes.
Kaoru closed her eyes strangely comforted and for the most fleeting of moments rested her face against Kenshin's hands and sighed.
Kenshin removed his hand and moved over to the basin of water in the side of the room, and dipped a cloth into it and handed it to Kaoru.
Wordlessly, and gratefully she accepted and dabbed at her swollen eyes. Kenshin watched her with concern, questions burning in his eyes. Kaoru looked up and could tell he wanted to say something, or ask her something.
"Kenshin, you have something you wish to ask?"
Kenshin gazed thoughtfully at his hands and then back into Kaoru's eyes debating if he should ask or let matters go.
It's not fair for me to ask such things when I tell her nothing of myself, nor does she ask… but…. I want to know so much…. He closed his eyes, a part of him wanting to know so much.
"Kaoru-dono, why did you request for me to read the journal?"
Kaoru looked down at her hands.
"This is my yearly ritual, I read that journal so I won't forget how my father lived, and not remember how he died. When I lost Dad, I lost Mom the same day, for her heart had died and the grief on her heart only heightened every day. I've been alone since that day. Until now. I'm not alone anymore, and I have you to thank for that: Sano, Megumi, Yahiko, and you. When you barged in you reminded me I'm not alone anymore… and lets face it. At least when you read the journal you aren't worried about getting it wet with tears."
Kenshin looked at Kaoru a long time feeling a warmth spread through him, because he realized he was not alone anymore either. He smiled at Kaoru-dono.
"I think you have a good point."
THE END