On Behalf of the Moon I shall Hitokiri Battousai you!
by: K. C. "Kaoru-Sensei" Hulsman
 
(*Author's Note: there are spoilers (if you can call them that) for the end of the Kyoto Hen saga… and yes I realize I'm insane to even write this fic. Poor Watsuki-sensei must be rolling ove in his bed in Japan at what I've done to his characters. Read at your own risk)


 
 

"I am Sailor Moon, and on behalf of the Moon, I shall Hitokiri Battousai you!"

Screams the red, odanga'd haired lass in the sailor fuka at the flaming mummy .

"Amusing…. For a man you sure look like a woman."

"ORO," blinked Sailor Moon. "How did you know I was a man!"

Damn at least when people think I'm a woman they don't laugh as much at me in this horrid outfit.

"Easy, you have an adam's apple."

"Oro?"

"Healing Bandages Bind!" shouts a lipstick wearing, mature woman at Mr Mummy head wearing fiery red high heels.

"Sailor Mars!"

"Sailor Moon are you ok? Hai, but he knows my secret!"

"There, there, it's not that bad, Sailor Venus and I get to enjoy those legs of yours."

"And just what are you saying about me behind my back Fox girl?"

Sailor Mars smiled over her shoulder at Sailor Venus, "Only that you're to wispy of a girl for our Sailor Moon, Racoon girl."

Sailor Venus whalloped Sailor Mars into next week, when Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Chibi-Moon showed up. The tall lanky, spiky haired, very masculine Sailor Jupiter showed up along with an equally spiky haired Sailor Chibi-Moon in tow. Sailor Mercury got out her throwing knives and began making mincemeat of Mr Mummy head.

Shishio was doomed, for he took one look at Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Chibi-moon and convulsed into laughter, paying no heed to Sailor Mercury's attacks as he laughed himself into a combustible ball of flames.

"Ew….. that's just so disgusting, come on Sailor Moon, let me take you back to my room at the dojo for some quality girl time."

Sailor Moon looked at Racoon girl and sighed, "oro."

Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Chibi-Moon ran from the scene to try to find some real clothes, but Sailor Mercury, true to her weasel girl nickname had hidden their clothes.

"Work those legs boys!" Screamed a mocking Sailor Mercury at the two running spike haired fools.

Too bad Tuxedo mask didn't show up.... I love it when he throws kodaichi at people....

Sailor Moon screamed as he was being taken away by Sailor Venus, "HELP Tuxedo mask!"

Tuxedo mask hidden in the foliage above, merely shook his head at this sorry bunch and decided to leave before people associated with him.

I'm too cool to hang out with this weirdos, no one will take me seriously again.

Tuxedo Mask began his trek back to his temple.

Sailor Venus knocked Sailor Moon over the head and dragged him back to her dojo.

The End (and aren't you glad it is?)


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