From: Andi Lacuesta Hey all! This is one I've had stewing in my PC quite a bit now, finally I've got up the guts to send it in. A little bittersweet angst in this one. Hope you like it! C&C to la_puente@yahoo.com . Arigatou! Shiko ^.^x ------------------------------------------------------- UNREQUITED by Mirune Keishiko When I walk in the streets men turn their heads to watch me go by. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the appreciative looks on their faces, the smiles and even the leers. Even when I'm wearing a shapeless doctor's smock over my kimono, my figure can be discerned - and it's definitely nothing to shake a stick at, if I may say so myself. Sometimes when I go to restaurants and taverns I have to request a secluded seat in order to discourage interested, and occasionally drunken, parties from paying a visit while I eat. But what does all this matter, when the one man I care for, the one man I want with all my heart, won't even give me a second glance? Some nights sleep never comes to claim me, and my mind is full of him. His gentle smile. His excessively polite manners. His soft voice seemingly incapable of saying anything hurtful or mean. His long hair the beautiful color of fire, messily tied back with thick locks tumbling all over his face. The friendship and respect that knows no boundaries, but extends willingly to anyone and everyone, even to an opium woman. And his eyes... those glistening eyes, so full of kindness and understanding and wisdom. At first glance one would be tempted to describe them as innocent eyes, wide and bright, almost like a child's. But, deeper within those depths, shadows lurk. He is not so unfamiliar with the world as he might seem. His beautiful eyes encapsulate the troubled, imperfect life he has led: the grief and guilt of years past, memories both sweet and bitter, the remembrance of blood, of tears, of darkness. And over all of this, like a healing salve spread over a festering wound, acceptance and acknowledgement. This man with the violet eyes has made peace with himself, between the two sides of him that constantly war. It was his eyes that caught me, the first time I saw him, leaping desperately into that gambling hall while Takeda's boors were chasing me. The moment I found those two questioning, honest eyes upon me, I knew I had found a savior. He has saved me, yes. Led me to a new life, led me to forgive myself and to carry on, no longer poisoning people, but healing and helping them. But sometimes I find myself wondering if he has saved me only for me to lose myself once again. New friends abound, but what of love? What of the empty, sleepless, lonely nights, longing for someone else's warmth, his touch, his embrace? He looks at me with his amethyst eyes the way he looks at any friend of his. I am glad to be his friend. But, somehow... I wish we could be more. But all he thinks about is Kaoru. That little fresh-faced suburbian girl. Kaoru-dono this, Kaoru-dono that. His own little source of happiness, his heart's beloved, the sunshine in his life; his friend since the beginning, before all of us others came on the scene. Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what does he see in her? She has a pretty face, I'll grant her that. Those big blue eyes and bright smile are alluring enough. But frankly, beyond all that, I don't see how he has come to fall for her so badly. I'll admit, I'm enormously biased on account of jealousy. But isn't he ever turned off or at least irritated when her cooking flops again, when she punches him, when she bosses him around, when she screams at him, "Kenshin no baka!" She is hot-tempered and innocent, she giggles like a child. Sometimes she can be incredibly dense, especially when it comes to him. When he left us for Kyoto that time with Shishio she just slipped into a depression. She didn't even think to do something useful and smart, like follow him and make sure he didn't get hurt. And, yes, finally I was the one who stopped by the dojo to talk sense into her head. I couldn't stand to think of him risking his life to stop Shishio - whether he risked his actual life or he risked his life as a peaceful vagabond by reverting to Battousai - while she lay blubbering uselessly in her futon, staring at the wall... ..But I can't hate her. As jealous as I get of the special, unique bond between the two of them, I can't hate her, any more than I could ever hate him. Despite myself I have an answer for every objection the little green demon on my shoulder can raise. Yes, she can be unbelievably stupid, but love turns all of us into fools, I suppose. Her cooking would turn away rats and she certainly isn't entirely charming at times, with a habit of whacking annoyances over the head with that bokutou of hers. But she's generous and kind and cheerful, possessing a great strength that isn't immediately obvious but that comes to the fore when needed, and then you'll only be amazed. She's soft-hearted, caring, courageous, noble. And she is absolutely, totally, truly in love with Ken-san. And how can you hate someone with such good judgement? Even as I tease her mercilessly and flirt constantly with him, she never harbors a grudge or hardens herself against me. Admittedly, she doesn't exactly welcome me with open arms whenever I make an appearance, but she doesn't hustle me out of the way either. I generally don't like to admit it, but I do owe her a great deal. When I first met their group, she let me stay in her dojo and join them in their daily lives. To someone like me who has always longed for a place to stay and people to belong to, this meant a lot. If nothing else, I owe Kaoru. My new life, my new happiness... all of it is in part duly credited to her. I can't turn my back on someone who has been so much to me. And, of course... Ken-san loves her. That annoyingly gorgeous, infuriatingly endearing, innocently charming, short, well-muscled, handsome rurouni is in love with her. She holds his heart in her slender hands. They are calloused from wielding her bokutou, but for Ken-san they are the sweetest, softest, prettiest hands he has ever known. She is his entire happiness, his entire life; if anything were to happen to her - Kami-sama forbid - he would simply shatter. And I could never bear for my Ken-san to break. ..It's just too bad she can't even make proper ohagi. And he likes mine so much... Ohh-hohohohoho! --owari-- notes: Some RKphiles are pushing the idea of a romance between Sanosuke and Megumi, up to and including myself. Before you start going "Hey wait a minute, in that case....?!", I'll explain that while I *am* concentrating on getting the kitsune-onna and the toriatama in each other's arms, I still firmly believe that Megumi loves Ken-san. It's one of those "unrequited love" things (hence the title -- also, shamelessly stolen from an X-Files episode) (something I personally can sympathize. *ruefully* Oro ro...). Just look at how Megumi behaves in episode #32! It's just that since she realizes there's no hope of tearing apart Kenshin and Kaoru, she'll notice Sanosuke's feelings for her, and realize her own for the roosterhead as well... Something I'll probably put in a future fic. Tee hee... well, enough babbling from me. I'd love to hear something a lot more coherent from you! Send comments & criticism to la_puente@yahoo.com kudasai. disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs entirely to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama, to Shueisha, Fuji TV, and Sony Entertainment. No money is being made here. On the other hand, *you* loaded people oughtta get poor Kenshin some new clothes!!! (And Kaoru'd look good in one of those off-the-shoulder kimonos too...) __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Want to send money instantly to anyone, anywhere, anytime? You can today at X.com - and we'll give you $20 to try it. Sign up today at X.com. It's quick, free, & there's no obligation. Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------