From: Kirstin Ruiz Hello, Well, I've been feeding my starving of Kenshin related stuff with all the great work posted on this list, and I feel that a little contribution is long overdue... Unfortunatly, I'm far less talented than lots of writers out there so it took me two month and my best friend's encouragements to finally polish a little and dare post this stuff. So I've finally summoned my courage and here I am... This can be divided in two parts. Both parts have a good part of the actions and feelings of a dream in common. As if their dreams, diverging at first have somehow merged at some point... I've always liked the idea of shared dreams! ^_^; C&C are welcome, especially since English is not my natural language (I'm french). Any corrections regarding the grammar, eventual misuse of words, suggestions for better phrasing, ideas that could improve this story or make the characters more accurate... and well, you can even flame me, I know what this worth... I do hope that this is at least readable... ^_^; I just had to try... Now enough rambling... Kitine-chan (kirstin@titane.u-3mrs.fr) ______________________________________________________________________________ WARNING: This contain SPOILER for the kenshin's past (from manga 19 and on), So if you don't know who is Tomoe, you may not want to read this. ______________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the wonderful brain child of Watsuki-sama, I'm just indulging in a seemingly common obsession about him ^_~; I've adopted the usual conventions: <> are thoughts "" are speaking ** for emphasis ______________________________________________________________________________ A few things about cultural differences: Men were considered as adult at the age of 15. A samurai would then begun to serve his daimyou and could get married. That's why it was not strange for Kenshin to be married at this age. A few japaneses terms: futon: japanese bedding. Soft thin mattress, cover and a sort of pillow, set directly on the tatami floor, that you fold on the morning. hitokiri: killer, manslayer. rurouni: melting of "rurou" vagabond, and "rounin" masterless samurai. So that word should mean something like "former samourai wanderer" It's the word Watsuki-sama invented for Kenshin to define himself Bafuku: the shogunate government, in the Edo era. Ishin Shishi:the ones who wanted to bring down the Bafuku and give the power back to the emperor. Bakumatsu: the war that bring the Bafuku down, after a 300 years reign, and where the Ishin make the new government, putting an end to the feudalism, bringing the Meiji era. That war ended in 1869, but Kenshin left after the decisive battle of Toba and Fushimi in 1868 yukata: the light bathrobe-like japanese use to wear after taking their bath and to sleep. ______________________________________________________________________________ Memories Melting - Kenshin Kenshin wake up unusually blissfull. The memories of the village's festival last evening were the happiest he had build for years, and Tomoe have seemed for once to actually enjoy the distraction. They've return home really late so she would probably need some more rest. He knew that she often wake when he get up, no matter how carefully he crept out of the futon. He was just going to hold her sleeping form in his arms, indulging himself in her warmth and softness until she's awake. He was watching his wife tenderly, a smile playing on his lips. In her sleep, her delicate feathures seemed to have lost all it's sadness and she seemed so peaceful... Those past month here with her have made him experience happiness. He had been happy in his first years of life, until his parents died, but he was so young then, those memories were so far away... he could barely remember this time. And his years of hard training with his master couldn't exactly be qualified as blissful, much less that first year among the Ishin Shishi, before he had to hide here four month ago... But now there was no killing, no fighting. He could play with children, talk with people who treat him just as an ordinary gentle young man. He knew this couldn't last, that he would soon be called back to Kyoto to help achieve bring down the Bafuku. But when this war finally ended, if he's still alive, perhaps they could be happy together in the new era... And if she could be happy, if all the innocent people could finally get free from oppression and have their chance to find happiness, then it would have really worth all the killing. And maybe, maybe he could find forgiveness for all the countless lifes he'd taken. Her silky black hair was spilling around her shoulder, making her pale skin shining in contrast in the dim light of dawn. Unable to resist, he brushed her lips lightly with his own, careful not to wake her yet. Her mounth curved in a faint smile, and Kenshin, surprised but encouraged by her response, drew a finger along her cheek. Stirring slightly in his arms, she opened sleepy deep black eyes to stare at him, curiosity and a faint trace of surprise for finding him staring at her clear on her beautiful face. His long red hair was flowing around his beautiful face, framing his delicate features and spilling on her shoulder. The dim light filtering from behind was making it look like a flame. He was waching her with so much tenderness in his soft lavender eyes, they were so sweet, it was hard to believe that this young man -almost a child still- could be the coldest, relentless, deadliest hitokiri among the Ishin Shishi. He was so caring, so selfless... she could feel her heart soften. It was easy to hate him when she didn't knew him. When all she knew about him was all the bloodshed he'd caused, the fact that he'd killed her fiance. She had hated him so much then. And then she had heard numerous stories about all the coldhearted assassinations of high ranking peoples along with their guards... she had imagined the Battousai as a big, very impressive middle aged man cruel, grim, coldly calculating. But when she'd first seen him, caught him in the act of killing, all she could see was a young confused teenager. She knew he should have killed her then, he couldn't afford to let any witness... And as she began to knew him, to understood him, as time passes, she find it harder to hate him. You can hate the ruthless hitokiri, but you can't hate the pure soul deep inside. You can hate the Battousai, but can not hate Kenshin. A least, not once you know him. He's a killer, but under the cold detachment imposed by his role, lay a caring and compassionate heart with the pure intention to protect people. To bring in a new era where everyone can be happy. He didn't even know that it was he who had denied her happiness, and he was giving her a new, different one. He may had taken her fiance from her, but has given himself in return... At that Tomoe almost smiled. Almost. Since she had opened her eyes, he had sense surprise in her, then something close to tenderness, then she seemed to sink deeper in her toughts as he could feel her emotions change into sadness, tingled with confusion. He wanted to cheer her up, to help her put back the sadness. "Ohayou!" Smiling, Kenshin muffled her response under a soft playful kiss. Not knowing what else to do, Tomoe kissed him back. He closed his eyes, playing gently with her lips, savouring the warm feelings. Responding to the passion he could feel rising in her, kissing more ardently, he rolled to lay half ontop of her and slid an arm around her waist. He did feel her uneasiness, and find a little unusual, even ackward, the way her hands then hesitantly reach for his shoulders. But it was not until he tried to deepen the kiss that he realised that things were not right. When his tongue possessively dive between her parted lips to claim her, he felt her body shudder against his and her arms tightened around his shoulders and neck. Such a powerful reaction! She's not even reacted like that at our first kiss! She was begining to respond now, as if experimentally. The strenght of her reactions was affecting him greatly. Drowning into the mixed feelings of wild desire and sheer rapture, he broke the kiss and lowered his head, nuzzling into her throat, taking in a deep shacky breath a full intake of jasmine scented air. Raising a little to have a better look at her in the soft light of the early morning, he found two beautiful eyes, desire but also confusion shining in their blue depth, opening to look at him. This was not Tomoe! "Kaoru-dono!?!" Kenshin awoke with a jolt to find himself on his futon at the dojo, eyes opened whide, hearth pounding madly, and totaly confused. He just sit there for a few seconds, eyes wide in the dark room, before he manage to gather his toughts enough to recover from his shock. He reached a shacky hand to weep a red strand out of his face, taking a calming breath. The birds chirping could be heard outside, but it was still dark. In about an hour, it would be dawn. Sighing, knowing he wouldn't get anymore sleep, still slightly disturbed by the dream, he put on his clothes and open the door to the yard to sit under the porch. He lay his back against a pillar, looking absently at the stars on the still dark sky. The cold autumn breeze sent a chiver up his spine. Or was it a remaining of the dream? He couldn't take his mind out of it. He had often dreamt of Tomoe in his ten years of wandering, and soon after he has settled at the dojo he had started to dream of Kaoru as well. But this... Kissing Kaoru, holding her in his arms, even if it was just a dream, have made him feel guilty. He's always thought he has no right to think about her that way, that she can never possibly be his. He was eleven year older, he was too blood stained, had nothing to offer, no future. He was the past. She was so young, so innocent. She has all her life, she was the future... The beginning of the dream was an actual memory. It was about fiveteen years ago, and he was fiveteen then. He could recall this festival evening and the mornig after very accurately. It was the first time Tomoe had lost a little of her coldness. One of his most pleasant memory. In fact, all those five month hiding in the tiny house have made his only beautiful memories until he came at Kaoru's dojo. And shortly after that day, he'd killed Tomoe, trying to save her, and ending up with her saving him... No matter how much time pass, it still hurt so much, the guilt remain so strong... He had succeeded in all his missions as an hitokiri and as a bodyguard. But he had failed at protecting his own wife, she had died by his own katana, his own hands. He knew she'd forgiven him before dying. But he couldn't forgive himself. Neither for her death nor the too many others he'd caused during the five years he had fought against the Bafuku. So having Tomoe disappear like that with Kaoru taking her place in that dream, it felt a little like a betrayal. She has forever a special place in his heart, and he was not about to let anyone share that place. Not again. It would be too painful. Because then, he could lost her like he's lost all those he has loved. All those that have loved him back. His parents, Tomoe... And he couldn't afford to live through this anymore. Not anymore. It would destroy him. But... wasn't it too late? It has been a shock to see Kaoru in his arms, but not an unpleasant one. It had felt so good, so right... He couldn't keep from wondering what it would feel like to really take her in his arms, to really kiss her. Would she react as strongly as in his dream? He knew there were risks of getting involved with someone back then. A Hiten master must not, to avoid getting manipulate or threaten through them. And the former hitokiri should not because he would endanger them with his many enemies. But he was tired of all these years wandering alone, tired of trying to protect peoples and atone for his sins, seeking for forgiveness. It has been so tempting... How could he refused to stay when she has asked him, fully knowing who he was, accepting him for who he was and despite all he'd done in the past... He had intended to stay a little, just so he would help her more, he could see she felt so alone too... He would just leave as soon as she wouldn't need his presence, or when his presence would bring her problems or danger. He smiled at that tough. She was always so full of live, so selfless, so lighthearted, standing against all odds with strong determination. It had been so hard to leave when he had to return to Kyoto, and to his wandering. Hearing her cry, murmuring his name have shattered his heart. If he had not been so afraid for her life if she was to come with him, he would never have had the strenght to go. And she had made him return to Tokyo with her, made him return to her. He really was not sure to be able to leave. Not now, not anymore... not until she wants him to. Yes, he knew there were risks when he decided to stay, but he had not tought about *that* risk. Not that he could fall in love again. He had always refused to admit it, but he couldn't deny it forever. ______________________________________________________________________________ --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Does Windows keep ""bugging"" you? Can't get that PowerPoint slide to fit? Get FREE real-time live expert support over the Internet at expertcity.com. Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------