The Rice Balls of Death A random fanfic by: Lichey Edited and Proofread (oh god how it needed it) by : Hiko This is my second fanfic ever so please bear with me. ******* The Kasshin Ryu Dojo A rice ball traveling at speeds normally associated with quantum physics shot across the room and nailed Kenshin right between the eyes. "OroooOooOOOoo?!" "Not only can you not cook- but your aim is bad too! Neaaa!" Yahiko, pulled at his left eye and stuck out his tongue at an enraged Kaoru. Unfortunately for Yahiko, Kaoru was standing next to an entire bin of rice balls; and a large vein on her forehead was bulging. "AAAAHHHH!" Yahiko dove under the table as a volley of high-speed rice balls cut through the air and smacked into the wall behind him. Scampering out from under the table, Yahiko grabbed a rice ball from mid-air, and biting into it, made a nasty face. He then tore off down the hallway with a cloud of rice balls after him. Karou picked up the basket of rice balls and took off after Yahiko ( using the Kasshin Ryu's special rice ball throwing technique developed by Karou's mother and passed down lovingly from mother to Kaoru's father, to her). Rice balls sailed after Yahiko, who annoyingly dodged them. The errant balls of rice smashed into walls, splintered railings, and occasionally exploded. Back in the eating room, Sanosuke helped Kenshin get up. "At least we found some use for Jo-chan's cooking. " He said, "But who could've thought that Kasshin Ryu had a secret rice ball throwing technique." Sano said that last while pulling a rice ball out of the wall near his head to munch on. Sano bit down on the rice ball and came off with a chipped tooth. "OWW, damn thing nneuurffff, is really, mmmmffff, hard." Sano gnawed on the rice ball a little more to no avail. "Damn, man I'm hungry but these rice balls. Sheessse!". Kenshin used his sakaba to pry one out of the floor and then took a bite. "Hmm, they are a little tuff," Then a thought occured to him. "Hmm, I wonder." Loosening his sakaba in its sheath Kenshin went into the batto-justu stance and said, "Sano, stand back". Then Kenshin tossed the rice ball into the air and whipped his sword out "Ama Kakeru Ryu no Hirameki!!". Sano was blown back by the sudden blast of air and deafened by the ring of Kenshin's sword blade. The rice ball landed with a thud on the floor, in perfect condition. "ORO?!" "Damn!" Looking at his sword blade Kenshin's eyes suddenly went big and quivery. There was a big chip in the blade. "My sakaba!" Kenshin cried. Pushing up his sleeves Sanosuke went over to the rice ball laying on the floor and said, "All right, lemme take a crack at this thing. FUTAE-NO-KIWAMI !!". Sano slammed his fist down onto the rice cake with all his might. The floorboards around him splintered under the pressure and the ground exploded upward. Sano stood up from the 4 foot deep crater in the ground and waited for the dust to clear. Rubbing his hand Sano mumbled, "Shit, but that hurt!," and then, "Damn!". As the dust slowly cleared a white form could be picked out. Sano bent way over and picked up the rice ball. Nibbling on it he looked at Kenshin, "Still in perfect condition." Kenshin looked at the rice ball and looked at Sano. Sano looked at Kenshin and nodded. Kenshin looked out the window at Kaoru and Yahiko still running around and said distantly, "There is only one man strong enough to defeat this rice ball..." Kenshin turned back to Sano inquisitively. "Hiko Seijuro" ******* In the Mountains near Kyoto... Hiko Seijuro was sitting quietly in front of his kiln drinking sake. He enjoyed doing this, it made a nice break from practicing the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Besides, he'd long ago perfected the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu and it was starting to get boring. Hiko sighed, he needed a challenge, life was just getting dull. "Master" said a voice from behind him. This was not surprising, he'd heard Kenshin and Sano coming a long way away. Hiko slowly turned to face Kenshin and Sanosuke. Hiko then caught sight of the object in Kenshin's hand, a rice ball. Hiko eyed Kenshin and said, "How nice you brought me lunch, really Kenshin I hope there is a reason behind this." Hiko took the rice ball and bit off a chunk...or at least tried to. Instead Hiko's teeth wound up rebounding from the rice ball. Hiko looked and the rice ball suspiciously and the looked at Kenshin, "You'd better tell me the whole story here." ***** 1.6 minutes later Hiko looked at the rice ball with newfound respect, "Hmmm, Kaoru's cooking eh? That explains much." He swept his gaze over Kenshin and Sano, "You've tried both the Ama Kakeru Ryu no Hirameki and the Futae-no-kiwami? Yes, and no visible effect huh? Well, lets just take this rice ball of death outside and see what it can take." Hiko strode outside and over to the clearing where he usually practiced the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. He turned to Kenshin and said, "Kenshin, walk over there and hold out the rice ball in your left hand." Kenshin looked at Hiko and the words soaked in, "Master you aren't going to try the Kuzu-ryu-sen are you?" Hiko scowled at Kenshin, "Yes of course. I figure that if you hit the rice ball once, no matter how hard, it will just bounce away and the force of your blow is lost. However, if I use the Kuzu-ryu-sen I will be able to deliver maximum force to nine different points on the rice ball simultaneously. Admittedly it will be tricky to group the hits so closely together but that's why I am the 14th master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu and you are my stupid pupil. Now stop whining and hold up that rice ball, Baka." Hiko watched as Kenshin walked out to the center of the field and raised his left hand with the rice ball in it. Hiko slowly drew his sword and pointed it at the rice ball. With a roar Hiko charged across the field, straight at Kenshin. The ground flew past his thundering feet as Hiko suddenly blurred forward faster than the human eye can follow. ****** The force of Hiko's passing knocked Kenshin of his feet and hurled him to the ground. All Kenshin saw of his master was a blur of white and red that was the mantle Hiko always wore. Then Hiko was there, looming over him and cursing like Sanosuke. Sano was also there and cursing like himself. Kenshin got to his feet and looked for the dreaded rice ball. It was lying on the ground a few feet from him, in perfect condition!! Hiko bent and picked up the rice ball and gave a gasp as a single grain of rice fell off. ****** Hiko looked at the rice ball. Finally something challenging! He looked down at Kenshin, "Get up Kenshin, I'll do it again, but this time without the mantle." Kenshin gasped in surprise as well he should. The masters of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu were generally so dangerous in battle that they weighted the mantle in order to be honorable. Unfortunately the masters always adapted to the weight and where just as dangerous as before. This forced the master to add more weight to the mantle. This raised an interesting problem because the masters were ten times as deadly when the mantle was removed and because of this system the Hiko Seijuros of the past were more deadly as a result. Thus destroying the original purpose of the weighted mantle. In the case of Hiko Seijuro the 14th the mantle had had a disturbing amount of weight added to it. Hiko shrugged out of the mantle and handed it to Sanosuke saying, "Here, hold this." Sano gasped as Hiko handed him the mantle and nearly fell over, but Hiko paid him no mind. Flexing his muscles, Hiko tensed and readied himself for the best Kuzu-ryu-sen ever. ****** Out in the field Kenshin gingerly raised his left hand with the ball of rice in it. He watched in horror as Hiko casually shrugged out of the mantle. Hiko handed to mantle to Sano, who fell over under its weight. Then Kenshin could see Hiko tense for the Kuzu-Ryu-Sen. Kenshin felt the color drain from his face as he closed his eyes. He felt Hiko move from across the clearing and felt the shock wave of his approach slam into him. ***** Hiko roared past Kenshin so fast the sonic boom he generated sounded just like a dragon roaring. His sword moved so fast as to be invisible. Hiko saw nothing but the rice ball, it consumed his entire vision. To him the 4 inch rice ball was the biggest target in the world. In an instant he was past Kenshin and sliding to a stop dozens of feet away. His boots slammed into the dirt and made huge furloughs in the ground in and effort to slow down. As Hiko stopped the sonic shock wave caught up with him and Hiko was buffeted by a thunderclap. He quickly looked at Kenshin's outstretched hand and saw the white rice ball sitting there. For a second he though the rice ball might with stand even that mass of abuse, but then the ball exploded in a shower of rice particles, smaller than even normal grains!! "Huh", Hiko snorted, "NOTHING stands against MY Kuzu-Ryu-Sen!" ***** Kenshin and Sano travel back to Tokyo As soon as Kenshin and Sano got back to the Kasshin Ryu dojo Sano ran up to Kaoru and asked, "Jo-chan? You remember those rice balls you made a few days ago?" Karou gave Sanosuke a funny look and replied, "Yeah, they are still at the curb. For some reason the trash guys refuse to take them." Sanosuke gave a whoop and ran to the curb. There he finds two bags of left over rice cakes. Gathering them up Sanosuke quickly runs off. Watching Sano run off Yahiko says, "That's the only man I've ever seen who actually wants Karou's cooking..." ***** Later that day Kaoru looked at the evening sun and sighed, time to cook dinner. She hated cooking but they couldn't afford to eat out very often. She dragged herself off the steps of the dojo and trudged to the kitchen. As she was cooking Karou suddenly heard a lot of loud talking and laughing from the eating room. Thinking she recognized Sano's voice she went to the room to find Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke on the floor laughing. Sano was finishing some kind of story. "So I sold both bags of rice balls to the military!! They want to use them as artillery!!" with that everyone in the room (excluding Kaoru who had a large vein throbbing from her forehead again) burst into laughter. "SANOSUKE!!!!" The End