From: MadamHydra@aol.com

From: Jade One <jade_one2@yahoo.com>

>Post the snippet!

Oh, all right.  <sweatdrop>  Since all you guys asked, but don't say I didn't 
warn you....

Gack, here goes nothing... <groan>  This is the troublesome snippet (i.e., 
the conversation between Kenshin and Kaoru) that I mentioned before.

Honestly, I've rewritten the thing so many times, I have *no* idea if it 
makes sense or not.  And it's not terribly romantic, either.  :P

Comments! I need comments and suggestions!  Help!  Anything!

ARGH!!!!!   >_<;

-----------------------------------

[start snippet]

    As she lunged toward Kenshin's exposed back, she mentally
screamed, (Junichi, you bastard!!!)

    Tears of rage and frustration trickled from Kaoru's eyes.  She had
her voice and head back.  That was about it.  Junichi still had
control over most of her body and was forcing her to attack Kenshin. 
All she could do was cry out a warning even as she charged toward him,
tanto in hand.

    In her mind, she heard Junichi yelling, (You stupid bitch!  Get
out of here!)

    (Get out of here!?  This is MY body, not yours, you filthy undead
parasite!)

    (I'm going to kill him.  Kill him!) ranted Junichi.

    Kaoru caught a glimpse of Kenshin's golden eyes as they widened
for an instant before narrowing ominously.  She knew that he had seen
her... recognized her... but even so, his blow didn't seem to falter
in the least.  Kaoru now had an idea exactly how Kenshin's opponents
must have felt when they faced the feared Hitokiri Battousai... she
would never forget the sight of that razor-sharp blade arching toward
her flesh, knowing that there was absolutely nothing she could do to
stop it.... 

    For a brief, heart-breaking instant, she wondered if the Battousai
truly intended to kill her.  Isn't that exactly what Kenshin stated
that he was prepared to do?  After all, that would be simplest and
most efficient solution to the problem that was Kamiya Kaoru....

    ....but he had also said that he loved her....

    (No, I have to trust him.  He was prepared to kill... has
killed... but even as the Battousai, he didn't do it out of sheer
pleasure or just because it was the easy thing to do.  He only killed
because he truly believed it was necessary.  I have to trust that
Kenshin will find another way to stop me....)

    But despite all her resolve, Kaoru found herself mentally bracing
for the cold bite of steel... just in case.

    A near imperceptible twist of his wrist and the flat of Kenshin's
blade slammed into Kaoru's stomach with stunning force.  The breath
exploded from her lungs as the impact sent her flying just as the
largest monster's mouth gaped open and a low gurgling sound could be
heard.  

    Kenshin dove aside just as a mass of black slime spewed forth from
the beast's jaws.  The sticky liquid splattered onto the paving stones
and immediately began to eat its way through them with a loud hiss.

    The demonic creature whipped its head around to follow Kenshin and
unleashed another spray of slime.  Kenshin leapt over the hissing
liquid with such speed that he seemed to momentarily vanish.  The
beast stared about wildly in an attempt to locate its prey.  It
glanced upward an instant too late as Kenshin dropped down from the
sky like a falling meteor.  There was a flash, almost like a minature
stroke of lightning.  Kenshin landed on the ground and jumped away as
the monster stood still, frozen and quivering.  Then, without warning,
greenish black liquid squirted out from a vertical slash that ran from
the monster's head to crotch.  The beast's body slowly peeled apart
and fell into two neat halves on the acid-seared stones.

    Killing the acid spewing monster had taking only an instant, but
Kenshin did not waste time staring at its corpse.  Almost before the
bisected halves of the monster had hit the ground, Kenshin whirled and
pounced on Kaoru, who was still lying on the ground, curled up in a
gasping and wheezing ball.  One knee pinned her clawing left hand to
the gritty cobblestones while his left hand captured her wildly
flailing right hand, still clutching the tanto, as it viciously tried
to slash at his face.  As Kenshin used his other knee and most of his
body weight to restrain Kaoru's struggling body, he almost casually
sliced the last remaining monster in half with a backhanded stroke as
it attempted to sneak up behind him.

    The shock of Kenshin's blow left Kaoru gasping for air and weight
of him kneeling across her stomach made it almost impossible for her
to catch her breath.  She had been struck before, either during
practice or by various opponents, but she had never experienced
anything like this before.  It wasn't just the sheer force of the
blow, which was overwhelming enough, but it was the combination of
strength and control in Kenshin's movements that she found almost
terrifying.  Even as she tried to force her lungs to work, she dimly
realized that Kenshin had known exactly what he was doing.  His strike
had been calculated with exquisite precision to incapacitate, but not
seriously injure her.  Oh, she was going to be badly bruised and maybe
even have a cracked rib or two, but if he had really wanted to, he
could have just as easily killed her with the flat of his katana as
with the edge.

    (Control... always the control,) Kaoru thought dazedly.

    She looked up at Kenshin, only to find the cold gold eyes staring
dispassionately down at her.  His gazed narrowed abruptly and within
her mind, Kaoru felt the raving and ranting Junichi suddenly freeze in
mid-tantrum, like a mouse pinned by a serpent's predatory stare. 

    "I see you clearly now, Junichi," Kenshin said in an icy,
relentless voice.

    Junichi started to panic and started to struggle, but no matter
how desperately Kaoru's body thrashed about, he could not free her of
Kenshin's unshakable grasp.

    "Be *still*," Kenshin continued in that same cold, grim voice.

    Junichi shivered in her head and Kaoru could not blame him at all.
 Neither she nor Junichi could deny the underlying menace lurking
behind those soft words.  This was no bluff.  Something in Kenshin had
changed.  Somehow he could now truly sense Junichi's presence.  But
perhaps more ominous was the unspoken implication that Kenshin just
might be able to do something harmful Junichi if sufficiently
provoked.

    For the briefest of instants, she sensed... the only way Kaoru
could find to describe it was something profound and powerful brushing
past the edges of her soul.  Like watching a mighty storm wind from a
shelter, one could feel its power, yet also feel safe and unharmed by
its passage.  For Kaoru, the experience was strangely awe-inspiring,
but not frightening.  The same could not be said for Junichi who
recoiled in terror.

    (Help me....) the spirit whimpered as it cowered within her head.

    Kaoru almost barely believe what she was hearing.  (You want me to
do what!?  Help you!?  After everything you've done to me and my
friends, you have the sheer nerve to demand that I help you!?  You try
to steal my body, help your demonic master to torment my friends,
nearly drive both Kenshin and Aoshi insane with your cruel schemes,
and you want ME to protect you!?) she shouted back in outrage.

    Before she could utter anything more than a startled gasp, Kenshin
briskly flipped her over onto her stomach, shook the tanto out of her
weakened grasp, and tied her hands securely behind her back with what
felt like a piece of silky fabric.  With that accomplished, he then
grabbed her legs and bound them with a cord. 

    Only after she had been firmly tied both hand and foot like a pig
for market did Kenshin release his hold on her.  Behind her, she heard
a soft sigh and the sound of a sword being sheathed.
    
    Kaoru coughed, then whispered uncertainly.

    "Kenshin...?"

    There was no response, then with unexpected gentleness, Kenshin
turned her over.  She blinked in surprise to see Kenshin's long red
hair flowing freely down around his shoulders, then realized that he
must have used his hair tie to secure her ankles.

    And without another word, he pulled her into his arms and simply
held her close.

    For a disbelieving moment, Kaoru could do nothing.  After
everything that had happened to the both of them, she had been afraid
to even dream of being held once again in Kenshin's arms. 

    (And I was so worried about him being cold and unfeeling....  Why,
he's not cold at all...,) she thought bemusedly.

    It didn't matter that she was tied up like some common felon.  She
was in the arms of the man she loved and that was all that mattered. 
And in his warm embrace, Kaoru couldn't resist the urge to nuzzle at
Kenshin's neck and rub her cheek against his long soft hair, just as
she had dreamed of doing for so long.  

    (And I thought he would stink of blood... hatred... fear....)  But
she had been very wrong.  She caught the scent of a healthy male body,
mixed with the honest smell of sweat...  But those familiar smells
were mixed with something almost elemental... it was fresh wind and
rain, tinged with a subtle bite that lingered in the air after a
nearby lightning strike....

    "Kaoru...."

    The softness of his words did nothing to hide the wealth of
feeling in Kenshin's voice.

    Kaoru felt her throat tighten with emotion, then she suddenly
burst into tears.

    "Kenshin!  I'm so sorry!" she sobbed into his shoulder with a
mixture of overwhelming relief and frustration.

    She felt a hand gently stroke the back of her neck as he said,
"There's nothing to be sorry about.  It's not your fault," Kenshin
said firmly as he continued to hold her close against him.

    "But...," she mumbled incoherently.

    "There was nothing you could have done, Kaoru." 

    Kenshin took a deep breath, then leaned back and held her at arms'
length. For an moment, all he did was gaze at her with those uncanny
golden eyes. Finally, he uttered a quiet sigh.

    "If there is anyone who needs to ask forgiveness, it's me," he
murmured as the faint afternoon's breeze swept long red strands of his
hair across his face and obscured his expression as he gazed stoically
at the ground.

    Kaoru shook her head frantically and said, "No!  Kenshin...
don't... don't turn away from me!"

    He glanced up at her and said, "Kaoru, don't you understand?  I
was prepared to kill you, even though...."

    "Even though you... love me?"  Even now, Kaoru was a bit stunned
to think about Kenshin's stark declaration.

    He nodded curtly, then added gently, " I wasn't bluffing, Kaoru."

    She closed her eyes and whispered, "I know.  You see... if I was
in your place... knowing the possible consequences... I think... I
think I would have made the same decision, too."  She took a deep
breath.  "I... I'd like to think that I would have been strong enough
to do it."

    She gave him a guilty look and said with almost brutal honesty,
"All this time I've been pretending that the killer known as the
Hitokiri Battousai was someone else... a cold, ruthless stranger whom
I looked down on and wanted nothing to do with.  But I was wrong. It
was really you, Himura Kenshin, making terribly hard decisions and
carrying them out the best you knew how.  Nothing more, nothing less."

    "Kaoru...?" he said in an almost disbelieving voice.

    She cleared her throat and whispered, "When you were arguing with
Junichi, I couldn't help thinking....  Here I've been talking about
and teaching how wrong it is to kill under any circumstances, but...
but I suddenly realized that I had never *truly* been in a situation
where I alone had to choose between taking a person's life or watch
innocent people be destroyed...."  Kaoru's words clogged in her
throat.  "So how could I have the nerve to feel disgusted and
horrified by what you've done in your past, when I could have easily
decided to do the very same thing, given the circumstances?"

    As Kenshin continued to stare at her, she stifled a sob.  "I'm
*so* sorry! I know I told you before that I understood why you did
what you did during the Douran and all that, but... but I was lying to
you, even if I didn't know it myself.  Even though I knew you had
reasons for killing, I really still didn't understand those reasons. 
I feel so stupid and naive!  I never conceived of a situation where
*I* would actually take another person's life!  Not even at the Aoiya,
when I faced Kamatari and the other Jupon Gatana!"

    "Until now?"

    She nodded jerkily.

    Kenshin shook his head slowly.  As he gently brushed the gritty
street dirt from her face with infinite care, he murmured, "No, Kaoru.
 You're wrong."

    "But...," Kaoru muttered in a despairing voice.

    "That's not stupidity, Kaoru.  Just... inexperience."  Kenshin
briefly turned his golden-eyed gaze toward the canal, then added, "And
I find your feelings toward the Battousai side of me quite
understandable."

    Kaoru said stubbornly, "I should have known better.  You see,
before this, I had only caught glimpses... the briefest flashes of the
Battousai... and always in the middle of a fight.  I was so upset at
when you were fighting Saitoh at the dojo, I really didn't play
attention to what I was really seeing.  And with all those stories
people kept telling me, especially in Kyoto, about the fearsome and
deadly Battousai... somehow I built up this horribly wrong impression
of some murderous, heartless killer...."

    "What changed your mind?"

    "Watching you talk with Junichi.  It's the first chance I've had
to really take a good look at the Battousai... to see and hear that
side of you....  And... and I realized that... that the Kenshin that
I...."  Kaoru stared up at him, her eyes filling with tears.  

    "That under all that fierce determination and relentless purpose,
you were still the man... I love," she blurted out in a rush.  "It's
still Kenshin, only just a different side... facet... whatever.  Like
a mask you wear, not because you want to, but because you *have* to in
order to do what you feel is right.  But underneath it all, it's still
you!  But I feel like such an idiot because it took me so long to
figure it out!  All this wasted time and who knows...."

    A faint smile curved Kenshin's lips as he put a hand on her cheek.
  

    "Kaoru, if it took me over ten years to figure out basically the
same thing, you're certainly no idiot."

    As she blinked in confusion, Kenshin said quietly, "I've spent so
much time and energy trying to separate myself from the feared
Hitokiri Battousai of Kyoto.  And in a way, it worked... until now. 
Because now, everything's changed.  I can't fight myself and the demon
at the same time... and we can't afford to let the Love-Eater win. 
Even a stalemate is not acceptable.  Every moment that monstrosity
exists, it grows in strength."

    She looked down at her lap and murmured, "So you've accepted the
past...."

    "I have to use all the weapons I possess in this battle, Kaoru."

    "No... I didn't mean it like that.  I understand why you chosen to
revert back to the mindset of the Battousai.  It's just that...."  She
tried to smile, but it quickly faded.  "I know it's selfish of me, but
I can't help wondering... why *you*?"

    Keshin's reply was simple and stark.

    "Because I can.  Because I have both strength and the skill.  And
because except perhaps for Saitoh, no one else can.  I've chosen to
act to protect you and others.  I made that decision when I was
thirteen, when I refused to stay with Hiko and do nothing while the
country was tearing itself apart.  I don't regret that decision at
all, although I often regret the methods I used to carry it out."

    Kenshin's gaze turned strangely distant.  "It's odd, but I'm
almost beginning to understand why Saitoh acts like he does. 
Sometimes, you need someone different who can do things that others
cannot....  Someone who stands on the outside, but doesn't belong...."

    "Kenshin?"
    
    When he noticed Kaoru's worried look, Kenshin shook his head
sharply and said, "Never mind.  We have to figure out what to do about
Junichi...."

    There was a moment of silence, then Kaoru blinked and yelped,
"Junichi?  Don't worry about *me*!  Shouldn't you be going after
Aoshi!  He has the cursed sword now!  You know he's going to use it to
free the demon!"

    The intimacy between them broken, Kenshin said flatly, "Yes, I
know.  But I've been informed that it's necessary that he succeed."

    Kaoru stared at him as if he was stark raving mad.

    "You... you WANT him to succeed!?"

    Kenshin's only response was a grim nod.

    "Are you sure!?  Who told you this!?  How on earth can you know
they can be trusted!?"

    Thinking of that sense of a familiar heartbeat and what his newly
awakened senses had revealed to him, Kenshin said slowly, "I don't
like the idea any more than you do, but my... instincts... are telling
me that this is the right way... the only way to truly defeat this
demon."

    "Instincts?"

    "That's right."

    Kenshin scooped up Kaoru and easily rose to his feet. 

    "But the most important thing at the moment is to get you to a
safe place."

    He carefully slung her over his left shoulder, which left his
swordarm free.  As Kenshin started for the Aoiya, he paused a moment
to pick up Aoshi's discarded kodachi before continuing on his way.

    Throughout her entire conversation, Junichi had been extremely
subdued, as if he was almost afraid to remind Kenshin of his presence.
 Curious, Kaoru said tentatively, "Kenshin... can I ask you
something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Um... what exactly did you do to Junichi?"

    With her head hanging down Kenshin's back, she couldn't see the
ominous little smile that appeared briefly on his face.

[end snippet]
-----------------------------------


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