Rurouni Kenshin © Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shuiesha and Sony Music
Entertainment.

Presenting…
An original Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction
Written by Mark Eymer

Rurouni Kenshin: Me, Myself and I

 
 Kenshin. So many times have I heard that name called at me, yet it
isn’t what I am, what’s inside me. Hitokiri. The demon which possesses
and taints the deepest fibers of my identity and past.

 I am Himura Kenshin, yet I am also Hitokiri Battousai. Never before has
a man been made to be two men at once, yet I am.

 The wanderer, the pacifist, the helper. I am a rurouni with a vow to
never kill again, but “again” is an integral part of that vow.  I was
once the bane of many men, the master assassin of the Ishin government,
those who sought to overthrow the shogunate and replace it with this
corrupt Meiji government…

 I’ve felt so much grief and pain throughout my relatively short life,
and yet I’ve caused tenfold that amount. Many have never felt the blood
of another man track down their face like fresh tears. Many more have
never felt the resistance against a blade when it passes through a body,
or heard the gurgling that comes with a dying breath, the breath of
another silenced life...

 I’ve been wounded, almost mortally, many a time. I carry the scars of
many battles, yet I have no pride in them, as many would. They are
reminders, memories of past sins, committed against those who didn’t
deserve it, those who were innocent, or those who shouldn’t have died
for a cause such as this.

 The feeling of steel, burning its way through your flesh, searing a
fiery hole in your belly as it passes through you, these things I’ve
experienced. Hatred, anger, and purpose, the emotions of a killer.

 These things I thrived on, causing death wherever I passed. I’ve seen
friends, close compatriots, cut down before me. My own wife, dead,
because of me. And yet, here I am, chasing the dream of a new love,
Kaoru.

 Can I bring myself to taint her with my soul? The burdens I carry are
too much for one set of shoulders, and yet I find myself able to.
Somehow.

 Much like this sword, this sakaba blade that feels so comfortable at my
waist. I carry it to protect those whom I love, those who I call friend
in this friendless world, this unforgiving existence.

 Penance, the one thing I seek, seems ever elusive, yet I strive for it
anyway. I want to somehow reconcile the losses I’ve caused, the grief
and suffering brought about by this hated war. Nothing can bring back a
lost brother, or father, or friend. I know this as well as anyone. Yet,
for those like Shigeru, who blame themselves for sins that are my
responsibility, I may be able to apologize. Apologize for the things
I’ve seen, the things I’ve experienced, the things I’ve done, and most
importantly, the person I was.

 I need to say I’m sorry, for those who died in the senseless war for
this corrupt government. The government I helped put into place. I want
to be able to leave this world, knowing that I did more good than bad. I
want to know that I helped those who needed it, and smote those who have
been consumed by evil. I need to know that I am a good person, and that
my wrongs have been atoned for.

 I only hope that in some small measure, I can, yet my hope is small. My
sins are many.
 

Writer’s Notes:

 An idea conceived of the scene during the Kenshin Movie where he has
just killed Gentatsu, and the dying man’s blood runs down Kenshin’s
face. What would that feel like? I hope I never know.

Peace, the only true good.
Mark Eymer


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