From: "Miss Hideki" ~*~Hello Minna~*~ This is Miss Hideki, lurker extrodinaire. I’ve not posted anything in a Dawg’s age. You maybe will not remember me? Well anyways, I dun have time to comment on fics but you guys are all doing great!!! I faithfully read everything and it’s all wonderful stuff. So keep it up!. Well about this fic. I posted Part One a long time ago. Since then I’ve made minor changes so I’m going to repost it for those of you who haven’t read it or have forgot it. ^^;;; Then Part 2 follows this one. I hope that you enjoy and as always, comments and criticisms are welcome. Cheers, Miss Hideki PS- Special hello to Rex-chan and Tin-chan. I miss you guys! Rex, email me pronto!!!! ##################### Raindrops of Rage Part 1 ##################### Misao was walking through the forest when a splash of water dropped upon her nose. She looked up. The skies were darkening and the gray cloud threatened rain. The temple loomed in the distance. She started to run towards it as rain droplets began to fall. Racing up the stairs, she kicked off her sandals and entered. Aoshi was sitting with his back to her, meditating. Quietly, so as not to disturb him, she crept over to the window. The rain was pouring down in heavy torrents. The ground was liquid mud now, swirling around the trees and into the grass. Everything was drenched with water. It was been fortunate that she had been close to the temple. Otherwise she’d be a water image too. She had been watching the rain for about ten minutes when a sudden shiver raced down her spine. She turned and looked straight into Aoshi’s eyes. He was no longer mediating. Instead he was watching her, his face hard and expressionless. She smiled brightly, covering up her nervousness at his cold gaze. “Konbanwa, Aoshi-sama. I didn’t mean to disturb you but I came in here because it’s raining so much outside. Gomen nasai.” He said nothing but lowered his head and began to meditate again. Sighing, she gazed outside where rejection wasn’t possible. For as long as she could remember the rain had always made her spirits rise. The rain made her feel content. It brought with it hope. It replenished the earth and afterwards everything was beautiful and sparkling. The world was rain-kissed and new. Things were always the brightest after a rainstorm. But today, this cold rain was mingled with depression. Was it because Aoshi was here with her? Or was it more? Maybe it was because she finally realized how futile hoping was. Afterall, she had been hoping and dreaming for these past two years. Two years waiting for Aoshi. Two years of wasted time. Nothing was ever going to happen. Why couldn’t she accept that? Rain always ends but not in her life. This rain would never stop, unless Aoshi changed. Unless he wanted her. And that would never happen. Rivers of clear water slid down the window. It was time to give up. She reached out and touched to window. Cold and hard, like Aoshi. Like Aoshi. “I hope you’re happy now,” she whispered. “This is what you wanted.” Everything suddenly seemed so oppressive. She couldn’t stand it anymore. Whirling around, she started to leave when her gaze was caught by Aoshi. “I’m going to leave now, Aoshi-sama,” she muttered looking at her feet, not wanting to see the face that always rejected her. “But I’ll bring you back an umbrella. It’s raining a lot.” She headed toward the entrance when his voice stopped her. “Misao.” Brushing her bangs from her eyes, she glanced over at him. “Hai, Aoshi-sama?” “Stay. You may catch a cold in the rain.” For some odd, inexplicable reason, his voice made her annoyed. Why was he acting as if he cared when it was so obvious that he didn’t? “I’m not a baby,” she retorted, angrily. “I’m eighteen. You don’t have to look after me, Aoshi-sama. I can handle myself without your help.” His gaze pierced hers. “Stay,” he commanded. And he went back to meditating. She stared at him. “I hate you,” she thought and was surprised at the vehemence of the thought. How could she hate him when for so long all she had ever felt was love? And yet…she did hate him. Hated him for what he was doing to himself and what he was doing to her. She walked back to the window, her friend in solitude. Everything was so watery and clear and blurry. The world was a liquid and she was drowning. A cool drop splashed onto her fingers. Rain inside the temple? But no not the rain, only tears. They rolled down her cheeks like the rain on the windowpane. “Why are you doing this to me?” she whispered, roughly dashing the tears away. “Why do you hate me so much?” More questions that would remain unanswered. Nothing was ever answered with Aoshi. He just didn’t care. Outside, the rain was pouring harder and more violently. Water was everywhere, wetting everything. As she wiped at her tears, she decided that she hated the rain. Almost as much as she hated her Aoshi-sama. A little blurb of bright, wet yellow caught her eye. She leaned forward, her curiosity piqued, her pain forgotten for the time being. It was a small bird that had fallen from its home in a nearby tree. The rain and mud were drowning the poor bird. It vainly struggled to fly but it was too young and too wet. The dirty water had nearly swallowed the poor bird. Misao felt like that tiny helpless bird. Drowning in a harsh world where security and happiness were unattainable goals. Where no one cared and help was a dream. She glanced back at Aoshi. He was in another world, desperately trying to find this inner peace. One lone tear made its way down her cheek. “I hope you find it,” she whispered as she yanked open the window. “Then at least one of us will be happy.” Carefully, she climbed out of the window and instantly she was soaked to the bone. Running through the mud and the rain, nearly slipping, she quickly scooped the little bird into her palm, away from danger. It was so small and so frail. Just like a dream one might have. Able to be destroyed by the brutal realities of life. Misao painstakingly climbed up the wet tree, sheltering the tiny bird as best as she could. It wasn’t long before she was high up in the branches and the nest was before her. Gingerly, she placed the bird among the grass and sticks and the two other birds. They were all wet but very cute. They gazed up with big, wide eyes almost as if to say thank you. She smiled down at them sadly as the rain ran down her face and into her clothing. The cold water had steeped into her heart and even the sight of the cute, little birds chirping couldn’t relieve her glacial distress. Climbing down the tree, she wondered if she would end up like Aoshi. Hard and without feeling. A remorseless, selfish cynic. No she wouldn’t let that happen. After she had made the climb down, she glanced up at the birds. All she could see was rain. Cold and wet, it drenched her, surrounding her like a dripping shroud. And yet, there was something in this water. A healing factor. That was something she had always believed in, no? “Rain is good for the soul.” Who had told her that so long ago? She had always believed it. Until today. Until the temple. She didn’t want to go back into the temple, into the silence and the selfishness. Into the pain and the misery. This rain could heal her. She could leave the temple, leave him. Aoshi. He was standing in the window, watching her. That harsh, mocking stare reached out and grabbed her. He always had her. She was chained to him, without hope. Lowering her head, she made her way through the raindrops and the silence, through the muck and the disillusionment back to his side. Always at his side. His hand grasped her cold, wet one and he pulled her inside. “I told you not to go outside,” he said in a low voice. His gaze was glacial and shuttered as he watched her drip rain and filth onto the temple floor. She jerked her hand from his and brushed her soaking bangs from her face. “I guess I’m just a fool,” she whispered as she wiped away rolling water droplets from her face. She looked up at him, her gaze as clear and open as his was cynical and closed. “Caring for others. I wonder what possessed me to do that? We both know that the truly strong ones would never lower themselves to worry about others. That would display weakness, wouldn’t it?” Although her words were jeering and scathing, her tone was simple and sad. It cut through Aoshi more sharply than if she had slapped him. Misao turned and began to walk towards the door, raining water and mud upon the floor. It was then that a loud crack of thunder sliced through the air, as if marking her words. Aoshi stood still, her words freezing his thoughts, his motions. He could have taken her bitterness, her anger but this sad acceptance? It pained him beyond belief, cracking through his emotionless façade. He knew that he should just let her go, let her feel that soul breaking pain so that she would forget about him. But he couldn’t. He wanted her to be free of him and yet he wanted to crush her in his arms and hold her forever. He wanted so much for her…from her. But in that moment, as the rain cracked across the darkening day, he could do nothing. All he knew was that he couldn’t let her go. She might get hurt. And that he could not bare. “Misao wait,” he called, his voice unusually low and brusque, even to his own ears. She stopped but didn’t turn around. She looked so small at that moment. Small and wet. Silly, but he wanted to wrap her in his coat and keep her warm and dry. Protect her forever. “It’s dangerous outside. When the storm stops, you can leave.” Her silence echoed and she didn’t move. He took comfort in that. At least she wasn’t about to rush out into the storm and risk getting struck by the lightening. “Inside the inner chamber are some dry clothes. Go and change. I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Misao turned to look at him. On any other day, that comment would have made her bounce off the walls with happiness. But today she knew better then that. He didn’t care for her. He never did. It was all because of obligations. It was his duty as the Okashira to look after her. That was it. He was simply doing his duty. Nothing more. “What do you care?” she asked him in as cold a voice as his. His expression didn’t change. No, why would it? He was probably glad that she was finally giving up on him. Yes, well that she had. She wasn’t going to play the fool anymore. How many times could one take rejection? It was everywhere, this cold rejection. In his words, his tone, his gaze, his actions. She had enough. This was the last time. It was killing her alive, so slowly. “Good-bye, Aoshi-sama,” her heart whispered. And without waiting for his response, she headed towards the inner chambers. Anything to be free from him. She couldn’t bear it any longer. His wanted so much to call her back to his side, to make things right. Her words and her tone…they were so unlike her. So like him. What had he done to her? Killed her ninja girl spirit. The one that made her Misao. He loathed himself. Why did he always manage to hurt the ones he cared for the most? Hyotoko, Beshimi, Shikijo and Hannya. They had all died because of him. And now Misao...if he lost her what would he do? He surely would die. Misao entered the inner chamber and closed the door softly even though she felt like slamming it as hard as she could. She hated him. That much was certain. She couldn’t deny it. She hated Shinomori Aoshi with every fiber of her being. Her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched as she remembered every single horrible thing he had done. He had left her without even so much as a good-bye. He hadn’t even condescended to bid her farewell. He had protected some stupid drug lord and had gotten Hyotoko, Beshimi, Shikijo and Hannya all killed. In his selfish quest for power and revenge he had destroyed the Aoiya. He had fought Jiya, who almost died. It was his fault that Kaoru, Yahiko, the others and she herself had been injured. His fault. Everything “He should have been protecting us,” she hissed, her nails digging into her skin. But he hadn’t. He had joined Makoto Shishio in the quest to set fire to Kyoto and take over Japan. And now…even two bloody years later, he still was the same selfish bastard he had always been. Oh, but he no longer wanted to be the strongest. No, all he wanted was to find peace. “Screw your goddamn peace!” she shrieked scratching her palms as hard as she could. He still didn’t know the meaning of love, of compassion. Every fucking day she had been there, serving him and trying to make him laugh. What hadn’t she done for him? And still, he was unable to even say thank you. Unable to make even the most simple of gestures. The trails of blood on her hands ran together. “I’ll give you peace, Aoshi-sama. If that’s what you want...” She sucked in a deep breath, trying to clam herself. She wouldn’t stay. Not anymore. Not with him. He was ripping her apart. After everything she had been through...she couldn’t let him do that. It was indeed time to say good-bye. And without a further thought, she pulled open the window and disappeared into the night painted with water. --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Win a Digital Camera and Earn 6 Percent APY Interest! SFNB is reinventing Internet Banking with a 6 percent APY Interest Checking acct. 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