From: miyashi Another plotless fic, by yours truly. Second in a series of profiles/vignettes I'm writing about random RK characters. (the first one being about Enishi… oof.) Why can't I just write short, happy fics where A & M end up together kissing? ;_; With their personalities, I just don't think it can happen so easily, and I have a short attention span.. ^_^ Anyways, this one was written in my extremely boring Practical Arts class ..They are teaching 16-year-olds *ACCESS*?! It's silly. Good thing we're switching to Enterpreneurship this semester; at least it looks more promising. Anyway, the lesson here? Listen to class, instead of writing 'fics. Look! My babble is longer than the 'fic! -_-;; ________________________________________________________________________ Profile Two: Aoshi Someone help me think of a title? Disclaimers: They're not mine, so there. ::sigh:: ________________________________________________________________________ Light. Streaming in under the door, narrower yet all the more noticeable, vivid in my mind even if I should close my eyes. It seems like a dream. Dreams which would later fade into memory, which in turn would later form ideas. Concepts which would serve as the foundation stones of the civilization we live in. And without civilization we would be forgotten, obsolete. Do you believe in a world of ideas? A separate world where all that isn't, is; and all that is, isn't. Coexisting, forever flowing in that darkly mystical, merciless space we call time. That the world (my world) we live in right now is an imperfect replica, an inferior copy, a shadow, a glimpse of true reality. You may laugh, but if you think about it hard enough you would see that it may perhaps be plausible enough to.. to.. believe.. in... Shinjiteru. Do you suppose that as long as you believe in something, it will be real? Because your concept of reality is your own. However, when you stop to think about it, it can never truly be because the thing which you would wish for the most to the point o desperation would always, always have to involve the fate of other people. And what if that person doesn't accept the same things you do? What if you know that person wants the same thing as you do, but you can never give in to those longings for the sake of that other person's salvation? What if you always have to keep that same person from knowing about the deep desire you have kept hidden in your soul? What… what is reality then? An illusion? Which is truly real? Is there any real difference between wishes and beliefs? Is the reality we speak of only a dream? But oh, such a sweet dream.. Perfect, perhaps too much so to be true. Because there is perfection only in death; and in death, how can one appreciate perfection? Still, knowing this, it's still so hard to let go of. Because, in that dream, she is there. Because, in that dream, she is, as always, smiling. With me. Yes, I am smiling, laughing even perhaps, because of the mere fact that she is by my side; both of us understanding everything fully; without any questions left to be asked concerning the two of us. In my dream we are running and laughing and living, not caring about anything, anyone. Because there is nothing except the two of us; the two of us and the trees, the lakes, the birds, the clouds and the sea; enclosed only be pure empty space. We are forever locked in a dance, and the music is both clear and quiet as the same time, reminiscent of the sea whispering its secrets to the wind, rising as the moon beckons it to come closer in the high rise of the tide. And we dance, the movements swift and complex; towards that place where the wind ends and the sea finally succumbs and has its fill of the hidden side of the moon. And I do not have to look in her eyes to know what is inside of them; I feel her, our souls are entwined to a much higher level than any sort of physical contact can account for. And yet it is a dream, nothing more. And if you are to use your mind wisely you must understand that you have to wake up from such a dream sometime, no matter how beautiful it is. You have to realize that you cannot hold on to such a fabrication of reality. You have to let go of such things because you must acknowledge the fact that you are not a child any longer. It may make you wish back that innocent gleam of childhood, but you can never get it back. Her laughter draws me inside of myself even more, because I know that I cannot offer her anything in exchange for that gift. A marble statue cannot repay its creator, much as it may wish to. Although that marble statue is part human as well. Such is the case with me. And I know it cannot happen. Besides, in my own way, I am happy. Because she appears to be. But the one thing she wants from me the most.. that one thing I cannot give her, because I already have. She has had that love for a long time. Without her knowing of it. But I can't… I can't give in to this selfish need to be with her, to hold her. It may be what she thinks she wants, but it would definitely be the worse for her should I give in to both our desires. It's a hopeless case, and there's only so far as wishes can go. I have my past. She has her future. My future is soaked in blood. And, even if it kills me, I will not stand in her way.It is the only way I can ever show her… my love. My love. All such dreams end. And all my chances are lost. ________________________________________________________________________ Notes: 1. The "light under the door thing".. I forgot what they called the paper on the sliding doors in Japan… I'll revise it if ever I get the proper info. 2. In case you didn't notice, the world of ideas thing was a deviation from Plato's philosophy. I just *had* to borrow it! ;_; 3. Is "shinjiteru" in the wrong tense? I'm afraid my Japanese is not so hot, especially without a dictionary at hand. ^_^ 4. please, if anyone can suggest a title for this.. I've gone blank all of a sudden. 5. Gomennasai if I was too cheesy… c & c (except for flames!) are, as always, very much welcome. Ja ne, Miyashi-chan P.S. Question: Is "Hell Liecht" the right term for "Shining Light" in German? My German's really bad as well, and the books I've studied don't have a glossary. ===== -April, aka Miyashi ICQ #45216599 Ice Blue Eyes: Aoshi and Misao http://shinomori.cjb.net --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Go to school... Slay demons... Go shopping!!! Buy all the coolest BUFFY items at NextPlanetOver.com -- and your FIRST ORDER'S FREE!! Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------