From: nightsinger@mindless.com Tenshi by Nightsinger (Nightsinger@mindless.com) Standard Disclaimer: don't own the rights, not intended for profit. I accept reponsibility for the story's ideas and the abuse of the plot and manipulation of the original characters. Ideas may offend some of readers, if not please re-read previous Prologue's Omake to ensure offense. Otherwise, please download a patch to upgrade your sense of humor. I believe the Microsoft version still needs to be debugged - the wonders of technology. Offended? Too bad. *insert demented laugh* One last thing, I do recommend reading the prologue before reading this. Not neccessarily the Omake. Chapter 1 - "A night of memories and of sighs," by Walter Savage Landor Darkness. "Anata... honto ni aishiteru." a soft quiet voice called from the darkness. Soft, yet sadly sweet. So familiar and painful. A stray scent of white plum blossoms called and beckoned him. "To...moe...? Tomoe? TOMOE!!!!!" Frantically fighting the panic, he turned to chase after the voice and the scent. Sprinting after the source in the empty darkness. Whether of not it was a memory, dream or even rational it simply didn't matter. Dangerously flickers of golden motes of light ignited and exploded in his eyes, burying the normally gentle violet purple eyes. Some part of screamed out, warning the danger of beast and the seething rage of the Battousai, but that didn't matter. Only Tomoe. Recalling a flash back at the bridge before departing Kyoto, he swore he would protect her happiness. In the first time, he failed. Biting back the bitterness and pain, he instinctively focused on her face and her last moments. Thus finally triggering the complete transformation of the Hitokiri Battousai. This time if she was alive again, some how or by some way, he will find her. And this time definitely make sure he would protect her and their happiness. No matter what cost. The same part of his mind that tried rejecting the Battousai, tried tempting and reminding him about Kaoru and their 'family'. With one word, everything else vanished. Tomoe. His greatest sorrow and regret, his original sin. His darkness was also hers, her joy was also his. With her, he could finally become complete. What profound simple joy or love he could find with Kaoru, was nothing to the completeness found in Tomoe. Hearing a faint familiar lullaby, he quickly adjusted the slight change in direction and continued sprinting above god-like speed. The physical strain of muscles threatening to tear while his bone groaned to warn to danger of being crushed under the strain. So many memories, both wonderful and painful. Tomoe, his first. Mother, companion, friend, wife, lover and love. She was all that and more. They say to love is one thing, to be loved is another, to love and be loved is everything. Gomenasai Kaoru-dono. What we had or didn't have was wonderful, but... Tomoe. Blinking away the tears, he continued to accelerate clawing into air as if to escape the guilt and greater pain. Gomen Sanosuke. Even as he ran further in the dark, he left a silvery trail of tears. Gomen Yahiko. With each tear glowing their own unique light, they reflected scenes and memories of Kaoru and the others. Gomen Megumi. Gomen minna... He didn't know how far or how fast he ran, but it didn't feel enough. The emotional pain and guilt was overwhelming, but the body was too strong and well trained while the physical pain was too little and insignificant. Heavily breathing with both sweat and tears, he stood in the dark. Standing far away from the distant light. In the light was a scene of serenity and forest green. A painful mockery of the scene that was from his worst memory and nightmare. The birthing place and origin of the Hitokiri Battousai. The Kekkai Forest. The place where she accidentally scarred him, thus completing his infamous crossed scar. The scene were he tried rescuing her and ultimately attacked her, while she sacrificed herself to save him. And the scene where he held her dying body as she tried comforting him. So much things and more, that only words, thoughts or emotions could not or would not convey or express that to do other would be a betrayal or simply inadequate. And the forest... just simply gleamed and shone with warmth, acceptance and innocence. So pure and untainted, that felt like ghoulish parody of his nightmares and memory. Gone was the coppery scent of blood and white plum blossom. Gone was the encroaching darkness and the overwhelmingly subdued silence. From deep within the light, hidden by foliage a hauntingly soft voice continued to sing that lullaby. I wasn't so much as the song, it was the way it was sung and voice. While it wasn't the most skilled or beautiful voice, the subtlety and hidden depths and beauty seemed sublimed. With each pause and intonation there hinted a hint of pain and regret. A darkness from deep within that no light could banish or destroy. A private hell or burden to mental torture you're self with guilt. A darkness that complemented and sympathised with his own. Tomoe. Snapping out of his daydream he realised he was now standing in the patch of light with the dreaded perfect replica of the Kekkai forest. Pushing away the branch of one of the trees to finally reveal the singer, he saw the familiar figure of a young beautiful woman kneeling away from him. Dressed in a iridescent white kimono, her hair was tied back in a familiar pony-tail. Surprised by the old and familiar aching feeling of overwhelming desire, he quickly tried to calm himself. Distracted by the erotic swaying of her hips and body as she held something in her arms, his desire and wonder soon gave way to curiosity. Finally giving in, he did the only thing he could think of doing. "Tomoe..." With one word, he expressed pain, sorrow, regret, desire, love and storm of other emotions. Startled by a voice. Especially that of Kenshin's, she slowly turned around to face her husband. "Anata. Is this a dream or illusion? Or are you really dead?" With her soft voice, she subtly expressed a mixture of at least desire and longing.. Moving forward, she instinctively moved her arm to caress his face as if to feel if he was real. Feeling the sudden resistance in her arms, she abruptly stopped and averted her face with regret. Shifting her shoulders slightly, she seemed both apologetic and embarrassed. Moving forward to intercept and sweep her in a desperate hug, he froze as she subtly rejected him. Feeling the beginning of the return of his depression and self loathing, his soul shatter unlike before. This time, it was different. With the nightmares, it seemed more simpler and brutal. This was too strange and felt too real. That simple rejection brought back thousands of memories and encounters that only time could blur, change and forget. More importantly if felt real, like as if she really was alive. Absent mindedly brushing away and holding the stray white plum blossom from her hair, he forced his body to calm and relax. While there were subtle changes like her more open expression of pleasure, the fundamental traits were there. The subtle nuances that only partner could recall and her compelling dark eyes hinting an undercurrent of deep hidden emotions that only his ki training could hint. Trying to hide and ignore the pain and hurt he felt, his eyes subtly lowered as he tried to avoid in revealing the pain and turmoil. Settling his eyes on the new focus, he stared. And stared. Not even noticing her hint of discomfort and embarrassment, he continued to stare. Shifting slightly with discomfort but glued to the sight, he continued staring. Blushing in the first time for at least the first time in a decade, he consciously allowed himself to continue staring with great fascination and a hint perverse interest. Forgetting the lapse of pain and depression, he indulged himself on the feeling of wonder and prayed beyond his wildest dreams or imagination. In her arms he saw a baby, instinctively clutching the mother's breast as it feed. Tomoe's breast. Mesmerised by both the baby and the alluring hint of nudity, he didn't notice the expanding blush on his wife's face. Faintly aware and disturbed with his improper actions and thoughts, the allure and beauty of love and sex seemed more captivating than ever before. Mentally arguing about the continued celibacy caused by the guilt and penance from the memory and image of Tomoe, it felt so easy surrender to the fantasy. All the opportunities and chances to find happiness were rejected and enforced by the scars and void were both caused directly and indirectly with Tomoe and her death. From the dark recesses of his mind long denied, quietly urged and pleaded that what he was doing was both reasonable and understanding. This was Tomoe, his wife. Didn't his body have needs and desire. Didn't he abstain long enough? More than a decade, he forced himself to ignore and suppress such simple basic need of comfort and warmth. Didn't every time a woman tried to get close, he would always remember Tomoe? More so, she was his own greatest sin and regret. The beautiful bre... Shaking his head, he re-focused on his centre. The beautiful baby, he could see baby had the dark hair and delicate bone structure of the mother. Staring at the delicate tiny digits of toes as the legs stretched and clawed the open air, while the hands gripped and cup the mother's breast. The sight was too profound and beautiful, it was simply overwhelming. The simple innocence and joy radiated from both mother and child made him feel sad. It was wonderful to watch, but the blood on his soul made him feel so corrupt and vile. Almost as if he was unworthy to be in their presence. A stray urgent thought demanded to know the parentage of the child. If this was heaven, did she find her ex-fiancee? Or someone else. More importantly was it his? And if so, how could exist? Wrapped in his own private hell, he didn't notice as Tomoe openly expressed her worry about his withdrawn silence. Wincing at the demanding attention of the baby, she once again focused on the baby as she worried about his internal turmoil. As she pulled the unwilling child from lunch and closed the front of her kimono. As the baby gurgled with pleasure, he felt a slight twinge of jealousy. Jealous of the innocence and the wonderful promising future of joy with a mother. Turning away in shame, he almost didn't see as the baby's eyes opened. And the world rocked and changed. Barely remembering to breath, he inhaled a ragged breath trying to calm himself. But the small rebellious part of his heart gave way to the overwhelmingly growing sensation of awe and wonder as it bathed his whole body. Shining forth that moment of pure unadulterated joy, only felt three times before. It felt like that perfect pinnacle of complete harmony and wonder, that was unique and different with each experience. The first time was with Tomoe, which even now seems too sensitive to recall. While the second time was with Kaoru, that quiet moment of mutual peace and tender understanding. Afterwards, he felt the guilt and shame as if he completely betrayed Tomoe and everything he learnt. Thus as a result made him withdraw more and more, making her hurt more and more. Trying to calm his voice and mind. A million questions raced and spun around his mind, while he tried regaining a reasonable composure, instead of grinning like a stupid idiot. For each of the thousand questions he thought of asking, another thousand were discarded as they defied any reasonable comprehension. Finally settling for what he considered to be a reasonably safe enough question. "Is it a girl or a boy?" With a solemn face and mischievous eyes, Tomoe replied "Congratulations, anata. It's a girl." Turning towards the baby, she cooed. "Himura Tenshi, meet your silly vagabond father, who just happened to decide in finally dropping in." Calming ignoring the re-acquaintance of her long lost father, Tenshi preferred to explore the fascinating challenge of trying to chew her big toe. Stunned by the changes and circumstances, he did the only thing sensible. He collapsed. Putting Tenshi down, so she could attend her unpredictable husband, she failed to notice Tenshi's new challenge until it was too late. Fascinated by the bright red hair, Tenshi began her fascinating adventure of playing with the bright pretty hair while trying to munch on it. Unfortunately, she had far more success drooling over her father's face and hair. Wanting to share her delight with Tomoe, to turned to focus on her mother's face with her deep liquid purple eyes. End of Chapter 1 teaser - ~ - ~ ^ ~ - ~ - Authors note: finally decided on a rough plan and plot for the series and each of the chapters. Unfortunately some areas are going to be a bit difficult to write. Oh yes, I would like to apologise for the Omake in the prologue. If you are still reading this, even if offended by the Omake and a very obtuse prologue. I would like to congratulate your persistence and tolerance. As to why Tomoe and Kenshin seem slightly OOC? Well, time is a funny thing to say the least. While this draft is still extremely rough, it's still need of major revision. So the final result may probably be lengthier and different to what you've just read. Anywhere near the end of this chapter? Not by a long shot - I think and hope. But it still needs a lot more work, such as revision, plot to add and certain details to research and check up. And that's only within this fic. Please recommend changes and corrections. They say patience is virtue, but too much you'll be a delusional grey haired fool. So the final thing that I will add is you'll have to wait - sorry. Quality above quantity and all that jazz. Unfortunately my sense of ascetics and tastes in the end, may offend and disappoint everyone's expectations. Final Note: While my browser has been screwing me over for the last three times by reloading before i can send this message, i would like to add that most of added comments more or less goes for the same as in the one presented at the end of the prologue. Hope you found this more interesting than the actual prologue. I'm currently not too sure if this email server requires a html format or if it accepts ascii, but it looks as if i have to wait and see. "Underneath the frightenly beautiful stars, I stand Time to close my eyes and pray this world ends." Aoi Arashi by Touma Yumi, from the Fushi Yuugi Counterattack CD. "Better to reign in hell, than serve in heav'n." Paradise Lost, from Lucifer by Milton. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Get your free email from AltaVista at http://altavista.iname.com --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- BETA TEST expertcity.com's new online, real-time, technical support service! Let our live experts help you with your computer now. IT'S FREE! ! ! Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------