DISCLAIMER!: Not ours don't sue. Spoilers for those Book 18 and up. Night at the Kamiya Dojo... Kenshin: Welcome back to the real, the official and the non-fun all-serious fanfiction award ceremony. After all the light topics, we have now entered into serious zone. Who will bag the most coveted best fic writer? The most coveted best fic? The most coveted awards are all in this part, so don't go away any sooner. Misao: *takes over the microphone* Right on and we have invited a special guest to begin the night's ceremony, let us all put our hands together to welcome the one and only... LeBeau! [audience applause] LeBeau: *takes stage* One-shots are very easy to write. Short sweet and to the point. However, that is precisely the reason they are so difficult to write well. It's not easy to cram everything into one tiny short fic. Bear in mind that one has make sure the character is acting in character in the fic. The plot has to be intense, direct, no beating around the bush and dragging the scenes out slowly. Very often, short fics appear too rushed and end abruptly. However, in the face of all these difficulties, one person from the RKficdom has managed to overcome all these and write a shortfic which send a powerful emphatic message out to the readers. We are given an insight into the mind of an RK character whose thoughts and fears probably echo our own. And so, without further ado, I present to you the winner of the Best One-Shot Award. Impressions by Madamhydra! Kenshin: MadamHydra please accept your award and present your speech! MadamHydra: (escorted onstage by Saitou) [insert speech] Misao: *takes over the microphone again* Okay, presenting the next award which is for the best parody fanfic is none other than the wonderfully great Ryu Cheese!!! [Ryu Cheese walks onstage] Ryu Cheese: Well, I started to write a speech for this thing in the car on the way here, but then I had this great idea for a Misao comic strip and well... I kind of forgot to write a speech. But don't worry, I can talk for many, many hours and just make up stuff so it looks like I know what I'm talking about. [Watching from offstage, the Kenshin Gumi, make a few comments...] Yahiko: He didn't write a speech, what kind of idiot is he? Kaoru: Yahiko! He's gonna hear you, behave yourself! He must be nervous in front of all those people and he doesn't even have a speech prepared Sanosuke: I agree with Yahiko, this guy looks like a screwball. And what's with the name Ryu Cheese anyway? Sounds like some bad disease. Ryu Cheese: But before I say anything, I would like to invite Yahiko and Sanosuke to come onstage. I'm sure they'll be able to help me think of a few things to say about the fanfiction that won the best parody award. Yahiko and Sano: US??? Ryu Cheese: Yeah, sure, both of you come on down! (Ryu grabs a huge cane from behind his back and pulls both Sanosuke and Yahiko onstage with him. Yahiko and Sano fall on their behinds.) (Misao looks at Aoshi sitting in the front row of the audience and then back at Ryu Cheese) Misao (thinking to herself): OH NO! I never thought I would find someone who I'm attracted to as much as I'm attracted to my Aoshi-sama! But Ryu Cheese has stolen my heart! Jiya (yelling from next to Aoshi): Misao!! Clean that drool off your chin! [the audience laughs and Misao blushes with embarrassment] Misao: Well, um anyway, Ryu Cheese-san, why don't you finish up with that speech of yours? Ryu Cheese: Of course! But I can't say anything unless I have my two good buddies next to me to help me out [he holds on to Yahiko and Sano's collars as they try to run away] Sanosuke: Get off me you Weasel Girl loving freak! [Yahiko attempts to bite Ryu-Cheese's hand] Ryu Cheese: OUCH! You brat! [Kaoru watching from offstage throws a rock at Yahiko's head. The rock hits Yahiko in the middle of the face and he falls down backwards, unconcious.] Kenshin (standing next to Kaoru): Kaoru-Chan, this is getting quite out of control... maybe you shouldn't add to the insanity by throwing things... Kaoru: Kenshiiiiiiiiiin!!!!! Just look at Yahiko and Sanosuke's behavior! They're like a bunch of big babies... Hoji (yelling out from the second row of the audience behind Aoshi and Jiya): This speech and award ceremony is disgraceful! I will not allow this to continue! You are wasting our time with your foolishness!! I cannot allow Shishio-sama to be subjected to such torture! Shishio (with his arm around Yumi): Hoji, calm down and enjoy the show. It's not everyday you get invited out of hell to see an award ceremony. Besides, I enjoy seeing the Battousai and his idiotic friends make fools out of themselves. [Hoji mumbles something and sits back down in his seat. Soujiro, sitting next to Hoji, continues to watch the action onstage, simply smiling and laughing with glee.] [Ryu Cheese attempts to continue his speech, Sano stands next to him looking at the audience, Yahiko remains unconcious on the floor. Misao stands on the opposite side of Ryu-san holding onto his arm with affection. Aoshi sitting in the front row has no expression] Ryu Cheese: Soooo... where should I begin. Well, I would like to say that the fanfiction that I read was quite funny. I like funny stuff. Misao is funny, she always makes me laugh. Misao (squeezing his arm a little too tight): That had BETTER be a compliment... . Ryu Cheese: I think that parodies are necessary once in a while for the Rurouni Kenshin community. I mean, come on, everyone likes to laugh. Just look at Sanosuke, he looks like a big chicken, we need stupidity every once and a while. I know when I personally look at Sanosuke, I laugh because he's so dumb looking... Sanosuke: WHAT?? Chou (yelling from the audience): He means you, chicken head!! Sanosuke (with foam coming from his mouth): I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!!! Misao: Don't worry Ryu Cheese-sama!! I'll protect you! Aoshi: Kindly get off of me before I snap your neck. Jiya: HA HA! Looks like Aoshi's a little jealous, ne? Ryu Cheese (still laying in Aoshi's lap) My speech sucks anyway. Sanosuke (on stage with Misao): GET OUT OF THE WAY WEASEL GIRL!! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!! Misao (holding Sano back): I WON'T let you hurt my Ryu-Sama!!! Sanosuke: Don't worry, I won't hurt him! I'LL FREAKING KILL HIM!!!" [Kenshin comes on stage and puts his hand on Sanosuke's shoulder] Kenshin: Um, Sano, lets please try to calm down, you're upsetting everyone. (Kenshin glances at the audience who seems to be laughing at the action going on onstage) Oro???? Misao: You'd better just go away, Sano! I won't let you near my Ryu-sama!!! Ryu Cheese (climbing back onstage): Can you people PLEASE just let me get this over with already? Sheesh! I started this dumb speech so I'd might as well finish it. [Sano charges offstage and sits on the floor next to Kaoru, his arms crossed] Sanosuke: Just let the moron continue his speech, and leave me out of it!!! Kenshin (smiling): Arigato, Sanosuke. [Kenshin pulls Yahiko's unconcious body offstage by Kaoru and Sanosuke. Ryu Cheese fixes his collar and takes a glance at Misao who's staring at him all puppy- dog eyed, still holding onto his arm] Ryu Cheese: Um, well anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Parodies. Well the reason this fanfic won best parody is simple, it was very funny. And um... . Saitou (suddenly appearing next to the Kenshin Gumi, offstage, smoking a cigarette): Heh, this is pathetic. I don't even know why I bothered wasting my time coming to this thing. Sanosuke: HEY! What are YOU doing here? Saitou: I thought I should keep tabs on this award ceremony since Shishio was let out of hell to attend it. Besides, what does it matter to you, you're nothing but a weak puppy anyway. Sanosuke (with a vein popping out of his forehead): What did you say... ? Ryu Cheese: HEY, you two!! Can you shut up already? I can't go two minutes without you guys talking can I? Saitou: No one controls Mibu's wolf. Ryu Cheese: Put a sock in it, Saitou! [Saitou walks onstage. He throws his cigarette to the floor and steps on it, putting it out] Saitou: Perhaps it's time I teach you a lesson, Cheese-san... [Suddenly there's a loud crash and the roof of the auditorium smashes apart. Enishi and four other comrades, Banjin, Gein, Kujiranami, and Hyoko fall from the roof. They land center stage next to Ryu Cheese, Misao, and Saitou, all three of them look up astonished] Banjin: We've come for our revenge against Battousai!!! We're gonna ruin this entire award ceremony as part of our Jinchu!! Enishi: Ha ha, Battousai was unaware that we would attack here! Mumyoi (his voice echoes from under the stage): A complete surprise, and I will be the one to kill him! Banjin: No, I'm gonna kill him! Hyoko: I beg to differ... . Enishi: We don't want to kill him, we want to ruin this whole fanfic award ceremony so Battousai will be completely crushed! Come on people, we went over this!!!!! Saitou (no longer surprised, lighting up another cigarette) You're wasting your time. You'd actually be doing the Battousai a favor by ending this monstrosity. Enishi: You mean this thing is a complete failure? Ryu Cheese: It's not a failure! I was just starting on my speech! Enishi: YOU have a speech, Ryu Cheese-san? HA HA HA! By letting this fool continue his speech would be sheer torture for the Battousai! I think I'll grab a seat in the audience and watch as the Battousai falls apart in front of my eyes. Banjin: I hope they sell popcorn in this joint... . [They all walk into the audience and grab the five empty seats next to Shishio and gang] Yumi: Well, you guys sure are UGLIER than the Juppon Gatana... Mumyoi (his voice being heard under the seat): Hey, someone throw me some popcorn down here! Ryu Cheese (looking at Misao) I don't think I'll EVER be able to continue with my speech, so I'm just gonna end it here! My speech is over,everyone!! Misao, how about forgetting about Aoshi and giving me a kiss now that I'm done? Aoshi (suddenly appearing next to Ryu Cheese): I think NOW is a good time to leave. [Ryu Cheese runs offstage towards Kenshin, grabs his sakaba sword, and runs back towards Aoshi] Ryu Cheese: I've watched enough Kenshin episodes to learn to fight just like him, Aoshi, come on, I'll fight for Misao! Misao: Oh my, my! My beauty is so great, now men are fighting over me, how wonderful!! Jiya: I fight the winner! Aoshi: I guess its time to finish this... (he pulls out his swords) Ryu Cheese: AMA KAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI!!!! (performs Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu's succession technique) Sanosuke: Hey, what the hell? I thought only YOU could do that Kenshin! Don't tell me there's ANOTHER Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu master out there. What is he, the 16th successor? Just like that Shougo guy who appeared out of nowhere, remember him? Kenshin: OH PLEASE, Sanosuke, do NOT mention the "filler" episodes!! [Aoshi flies backwards defeated by Ryu Cheese's ultimate skill] Ryu Cheese: Now Misao is all mine!!! [Ryu Cheese grabs Misao and the curtain falls. The audience begins to clap and applaud. Megumi, Tai, and Tsubame, sitting in the last row of the audience and look at each other.] Tsubame: This award ceremony thing is scary! Tae: Poor Kaoru-chan, she's stuck backstage with all those... . um... "people". Megumi: I think I need a doctor... .. [The curtains are ripped apart as Kenshin performs the Ougi] Kenshin: Ahem. People, we need some men in white coats... Ryu Cheese: But I'm not mad! I'm not mad! BWHAHAHAH! Misao! WOHOO! Misao! [there is some unsettlement, and all is back to normal when Kenshin flashes Battousai eyes] Kenshin: Much better. Now on with the ceremony. Well, Ryu-Cheese-dono was *supposed* to be presenting Best Parody, but he's beginning to look like he's a parody himself. The award, anyway, belongs to... On Heads and Alter-Egos by Tracy Lim! [audience applause] Tracy: *takes stage again* Best Angst and Best Parody?!?! My that seems unlikely... Umm, are you guys sure about this? No mistake? Sure? 'Cos I'll be taking home these two unlikely combination of awards if you don't stop me now... OK you're sure. Yoshi. Wow. Best Parody. @_@ I never thought "Heads" was any sort of a scream... Hmmm... OK I guess I'd better start the credits list - ahem! First of all I'd like to thank the Academy (?) for the award - big thanks! *blows kiss* I owe one to Rurouni, who egged me on to write this parody, and lots of thanks to my father, who discussed blackholes and all things weird and scientific with me after every episode of the X-Files. Thanks to my parents and my brother for putting up with my obsession with mangas. Dear brother, I know it's a real pain to see your otherwise sane sister forever ogling at the red-maned swordsman and co. wherever she goes. I thank you for not throwing me out of your room all those times when I had to use your PC, because my laptop crashed on me. And as much as I loathe to say this... I actually owe a lot to my A-levels exams back in June for playing an essential role in the production of this fic. The revisions were getting me so insane and bored, I kept doodling chickens, brooms, spiders (I got the translations wrong and thought that the crab was a spider at first), crabs and octopuses, which finally evolved into a doujinshi thingy, and this parody. And it's no thanks to YOU, you lousy A-Levels, that I was actually insane enough to draw a Battousai eye, and then a Kaoru eye, when asked to draw an eye by the question during the actual Physics paper. And a big salute to Watsuki Nobuhiro sama for providing us with 4 straight years of enjoyment and thrills with our beloved manga, Rurouni Kenshin, and thank you all for reading my fics and providing feedbacks. Long Live Watsuki Nobuhiro and RK, and may the laughter never dies out from the world over. Thank you! [audience applause] Kenshin: Tracy-dono is bagging a double... will she do a hat-trick? Stay tuned anyway. So, once again, we're here to give out recognitions to the RK fanzone ficzone to encourage aspiring budding writers to get off their bottom so they can get to the top. The organizer and sponsor community encourages you guys to look at the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu Fanfic Archive for the winning fics to taste for yourself why they are winning fics, and what you can do to write such tasteful fics. On with the show. Kaoru: Kenshin! Kenshin! Kenshin: Oro... Kaoru-dono. What is it? Kaoru: *whispers in his ear* Kenshin: Ororororororo... Kaoru: What shall we do now?? Kenshin: Up to this point of time... there's only one thing to do! Kaoru: Huh? Kenshin: The next presenter is our dearest Kurama-san from Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Please welcome our special guest! Kaoru: Aren't we having alot of Yuu Yuu Hakusho interference today? Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, it only goes to show one thing. Kaoru: Yup. Kenshin: The organizers are plain RK/YYH freaks. [BISH BANG KACHING!] Organizers: Mind your words. We pull the strings around here. Gein: Hey, that's not fair! Kurama: *takes stage* Ahem... well well well, here I am again people. Girls: *swoon* Minamino-kun!! Kurama: Anyway... Actually, I wanted to bring the entire YYH cast to this award ceremony, but the organizers said something about 'space constraint' with a certain man called Fuji, so I dropped the idea and came alone. Fuji: OOOOOOOooooo!!! Kurama: Very nice, thank you. Now then, the next award is actually something that's related to me. Umhmm... I'm here to impromptuly present the thing we call 'Best Crossover'. As we all know as readers and writers, a crossover fic involves usually more than one anime series, otherwise we won't bother calling it crossovers. To have sufficient knowledge of one anime is already one big headache, talk about two... So, reckless writing in this area ventured is highly discouraged. But whoever has the skill and the thought to actually climb all the way up this ladder rack? We welcome the winner, none other than... Twist of Time by Geraldine Cheong! [audience applause] [Kurama goes to escort Geraldine onstage] Geraldine: Another one?! Thanks! This time, I want to thank my sis, Sano aka Angela Cheong. She proof-reads all my fics and tears them apart, rip them into tiny bits and examines points every single little microscopic detail and mistake. Well, she's the best editor I have [the only one I have to be precise], plus, she's FOC [free-of-charge]. Not only that, she's only person I trust to be absolutely truthful about the standard of my writings. She encourages me and pushes me on whenever I get into those "I'm an lousy fic-writer." moods and want to give up. Well, I guess the idea for this fic came about as a result of reading too much Marvel comics. Yup, I was a big-time X-men fan before I knew anime existed. Ever since then, I've switched my expenditure from X-men comcis to mangas but I'm digressing as always. The folks of Marveldom love to mess around with timelines, parallel dimensions, portals and stuff like that. [All those years of reading comics taught me a lot more than I learnt in my Physics textbook.] I decided to simply apply the Marvel theories to animedom and see what happens. The result is Twist of Time. I'm glad you all liked it. Happy reading! Kenshin: Thank you so much Kurama-dono!! Kurama: You're welcomed. I'm late for my screening. I have to go now. Bye! Kenshin: Bye bye! *ahem* Okay, that's for best crossover. Isn't it a nice fic to begin with? Kurama-dono is a nice person to hang out with when he's in his human persona... anyway... We've got lots of awards down and two more to go before we wrap up the ceremony and 1998. [there is a noise, as SASSers start to whoop when Dan Green saunter into the main dojo area on the red carpet, waving as he does.] SASSers: [starts to chant] Dan Green-san! Dan Green-san! Kenshin: Oro... there's no need for me to introduce the next speaker... Dan: Howdy people! [audience roars wildly] Dan: Are you prepared for a seriously serious speech? Audience: Anything from Dan Green of SASS! Dan: Here goes... *clears throat* Plot is the probably the most essential part of any story, or series. Plots can be simple, and rely on characterization, or be deeply involved, and mind boggling... Arguably, the best is when the author can successfully ride the line between the two, having an involved or intense plot, while remaining with a good character driven story. If the author were to fail in balancing these two out, and letting their plot get out of hand, it would create an epic of twists and depth that has no bearing and loses the interest of its readers. Each of the fan-fictions written in this category have been judged on not just the intricacy of the plot within them, but also the author's ability to blend a plot in with the rest of the required elements of a good story, and keep the plot deep enough so the story isn't just a collection of elaboration... And the winner for best plot cum fic is... Twist of Time by Geraldine Cheong! [audience wildly applauses] Dan: It's a hat-trick for Geraldine Cheong with 'Twist of Time' and 'Falling into you'! Congratulations! Geraldine: [taking stage again as Tomoe escorts her onstage] 2 in a row?! The judges this year are really nice! No no, I didn't bribe the judges! Honest! Besides all judges are required to take an unspoken oath written by Tracy-dono which goes: 'I hereby swear 1. that I have, REALLY have done my part in judging the fics, 2. that I have not received any kopi money, nor has any been distributed to the best of my knowledge, and 3. that the whole awards thingie has not been rigged up by any individual or organisation. Should I lie, may I be cut down by Battousai's katana in an act of Tenchuu. Cross my heart and hope to die.' I'm really really surprised at this win. Thank you everybody for reading my fics!!! No one ever comments on my anime/manga fics when I send them out so I thought they were so lousy that nobody even bothered with reading them or commenting on them. Organisers: Hey! Enough wallowing in self-pity, get on with the show! We have limited time... Ok ok, I would like to thank my first teacher, my mum, for teaching me all my basic ABCs and for cultivating in me a love for reading. Were it not for her and the big cane behind her back, I might not even know how to read and write today! Aren't mums something? Like I mentioned earlier, I do not plan before writing, so I know just about as you do what will happen next in my fics. Who says fics can't write themselves? The general summary for all my fics: Plot? What plot? Ok, now for some advertisements, would you like to join a personal fanfic mailing list of mine? Just go to... Organisers: Somebody, get rid of her! Turn off the mike! She didn't pay for advertisement time! Geraldine is disposed of. [audience applause] Kenshin: Thank you Dan Green-san and Geraldine-san, for being wonderful, prominent members of SASS and the ficzone respectively. And now, finally finally, the most coveted award of the ceremony is about to be revealed... who shall bring this award home? We invite... ORO! Tomoe: ... Kenshin: Tomoe... Tomoe: The presenter couldn't make it. Kenshin: *facefault* That makes about three in one night. Tomoe: That's right. Kenshin: ::sniff:: The Award Ceremony is less important. Tomoe: That's right. Kenshin: Tomoe. Tomoe: Yes. Kenshin: Present the award for me. Tomoe: Okay. Minna, our next award is the final award for the night. It has been chosen with great care and anticipation. We call this award the Best Fic Writer award. Why is it the most precious award? What does being a good fic writer entail? 1) Your fic must make sense. 2) You mustn't bore people. (i.e. cannot be long-winded) 3) You have to capture the people's attention. 4) You have to write about Kenshin. 5) you have to take note of plot. That aside, I present this award on behalf of my husband, Kenshin. The award for Best Fic Writer goes to... MadamHydra. Congratulations. Kenshin: Tomoe. Tomoe: Kenshin. Kenshin: Thank you. Tomoe: Okay. [the two depart merrily backstage] MadamHydra: [insert winning speech] Hoji: That's it? That's IT... ?!?! This was a complete waste of time after all... Shishio: Not at all, not at all... at least we got to see Battousai in a kimono. Yumi: As if we don't already have enough of grown men in obvious kimonos. Kamatari: Ara? Soujirou: Then, I'm going off again. Yumi: Where to? Soujirou: To find my true self. Bye bye!... Boku wa, boku no basho e yukou, mada nani mo mienai keredo, mou... namida... Shishio: The boy is a little nuts. Enishi: Well, he grew up with you. [people start to clear out of the dojo, many rushing backstage for autographs] Dan Green: And that's all folks! Maybe we'll have a next year, maybe we won't... but people, get your writing pads ready! FUINISU. NOTE: The fics were nominated by the organizers, who then sent them to a panel of highly qualified judges (who chose to remain anoymous) for judging. We confirm that no bias, as much as possible was used in the selection of fanfic. Only fanfics from the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu Fanfiction Archive submitted before 31st August 1998 were treated as entries. No money is being made from this at all. Do not distribute this in any form. We hope you have enjoyed yourself. The Organizers bread@bread.freeservers.com 16/12/98