DISCLAIMER!: Don't own 'em, don't sue please. ^^x

Ok, I tried. Here's hoping I remembered to at least mention everyone
involved and not offend anyone.

Rurouni :)


"I know! It's that Pan from Dragonball! The very irritating one... she
probably irritated all of them! Yah, that must be it!" Sanosuke exclaimed,
determined that Saitou was to recognise him for the genius he was.

"YOU are irritating me, genius," Saitou said dryly. 

Sanosuke face-faulted. "At least he called you a genius, isn't that what you
wanted?" Tae tried to comfort him.

"Back on topic. I'm afraid, I can't help you, ladies." Saitou apologised
with a slight bow of his head.

"WHAT?!" All the fic-writers-after-Pan chorused.

"I cannot arrest someone for 'irritating' someone else. That is not within
my jurisdiction. Technically speaking, this Pan character has committed no
crime against the state, has broken no rules by irritating you and therefore
cannot be brought in. I would appreciate it, Madam-"

"Yes?" MadamHydra eagerly squeaked. "Oops. I meant is there anything we... I
can do for you?" Having stilled her beating heart after hearing her name
coming from the lips of her one and only all-time love, Saitou Hajime,
MadamHydra's voice returned to it's normal pitch once more.

"As I was saying Madams, I would appreciate it if you refrain from calling
me over to investigate a piece of runaway bread committing some non-existent
crimes. I am a very busy man. I DO have a family to feed." Saitou got up to
leave.

"He just had to remind me..." A SD MadamHydra muttered while she proceeded
to bite of the hem of her handkerchief in grief.

"WAIT!" Tracy commanded. "You can't just leave like that! You haven't taken
our statements!" 

"That's right, we have not even reported Pan's crimes to you yet!"
Nadya-Kaoru exclaimed, bringing her fist down on the table, hard.

"... my table..." Tae hurrriedly examined her table for bruises.

"According to that aho pigging out over there..." Saitou's words were
accompanied by a "TEME!" in the background.

"Sanosuke? You actually believe what he tells you?" Tae asked in disbelief.

"Alright then," Saitou settled down once more and took out his trusty pen
and black notebook. "One by one, then, what offences have the felon, Pan
committed?"

"I'll go first then. Pan used forged a letter to the mailing list using my
name." Rurouni hastened to put in her 2 cents.

"Ok, Rurouni, just one question," Saitou said as he continued scribbling
furiously into his black book. "Do you honestly think 2 cents is enough for
me to feed my family?"

"Uhm... well..." Rurouni put in her $20 dollars.

Saitou appeared satisfied. "What does this Pan look like?"

"Well, she's taller than me..."

"You're not very tall," Yahiko commented.

"Taller than you anyway. Like I was saying, she's taller than me, has long
messy hair like Toguro Ani from YYH and always wears a cap [either a red
McDonald's one or a beige Hardrock Cafe one] and spectacles." Rurouni
happily described away.

"Pan is nuts about Koenma. Perhaps you can ask him to help to lure her out?"
Tracy suggested.

"Koenma's busy trying to stop Shishio and gang from taking over Reikai at
the moment. It's highly unlikely that he'll be available to aid us in this
investigation. Ok, who's next?"

Kenshin put up his hand at once. "I want to make a complaint against
Pan-dono. Pan-dono makes me work overtime with no pay in her fics."

"Well, go ahead and bring your complaint to the trade unions. That's not my
department." Saitou turned to the next page of his book.

"Yes?" Saitou looked up from his book at the remaining
fic-writers-after-Pan.

No one noticed the disappearance of Kaoru-sensei.

Somewhere in a nearby dark alley...

"Ahah! I've found you! You rotten piece of Pan!" Kaoru-sensei cackled in
glee.

"Please lower your volume, I'm trying to hide here." Pan's eyes darted
around nervously as she tried to calm the excited Kaoru-sensei.

"I will if you listen to me..." Kaoru-sensei started.

"Okay I'm listening."

"Well, I have this little problem..." 

"Yes?"

"I've written all these wonderful fics... you have read them haven't you? If
you haven't..."

"I HAVE I HAVE!" Pan was quick to reply.

"However, that lazy, no-good, procastinating Rurouni has yet to put my fics
up on her archive. All she ever does is make excuses. What should I do?"

"You're Kaoru-sensei. She's Rurouni, right? All you need to do is whack her
on the head a couple of times with your bokken and..."

"I've tried that. It didn't work. All I got was a long string of 'oros' and
a Rurouni with psychedelic eyes."

"Uhm... sounds like you have a serious problem." Pan rubbed her chin
thoughtfully.

END PART 3

RurouniKenshin@listbot.com
7/10/98