DISCLAIMER!: Rurouni Kenshin characters copyright Watsuki Nobuhiro and Shonen Jump and Sony and whoever has legal claims. I am in no way making money out of this so please keep the legalities and enjoy! ^^x As if a bottle of corked sake wasn't enough, a very annoying piece of bread is back again for yet another 'how do they do it' case. That's right... in a hot summer day where we are all dying for an iceberg to melt, here's what our resident RKers do when they are faced with the lake, the river or the sea... PS: No, I don't think there are rivers beside the dojo, but since we're at it, let's just imagine there is, okay? ^^x I swim, I just don't float de gozaru ------------------------------------ Kenshin's editorial board: Kenshin: I just hate it when it happens. When I get all wet, all sticky and all muddy just standing in front of the choppy lake and the rushing waters of the sea simply get on my nerves. So, just what do I do when I need to get past this little lake by the side of the dojo urgently? When I can't stand something... I... Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu OUGI!!! Ting! Flash of light! Cool music! One blob of water flying in the air! AMA KAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI . . . . . . . . (courtesy of Kenneth Chan... his fics are great. ^^x) Kenshin: There! That gets rid of the water... now to walk across it and buy all that stuff Kaoru-dono asked me to... now what was it again... salt, sugar, soya sauce, vinegar... That was... The other use of the ougi... ---------- Kaoru's editorial board Kaoru: Hooo... Kenshin's gone away already! Oh no... I forgot to give him his money... I wonder if he'll still have enough to buy all those household materials I asked him to... or will he pawn his sakabatou to do it? GASP!! He's too far away from me... I can't reach him... can't do anything... what should I do... oh no oh no oh no... And our dear Kaoru-dono starts to pace up and down around the river bank and eventually paced right into the river. Kaoru: Ummm?? Oh look... I've paced a hole so big all the river waters are trapped there... good, now to go find Kenshin and give him the money... And here is a classic case of how worrying will get you everywhere. ---------- Sanosuke's editorial board Sano: I have no problems with lakes. I don't need to execute the double limit or the triple limit or the fourtieth level limit for I know that there is but one thing I need to do to get the seas to heed my advise of separating a path for me to walk... and that is to... TURN AROUND!!! Dern dern DEEEEEEERRNNN!!! The seas separate as all the fishes attempt to clear a dry track for Sanosuke. Hmmm... Sano: See, I have friends in the oceans. They would do *anything* to make me get through the waters in a dry condition. Bye bye... time to go home from the dojo... Fishbones. They always work. ---------- Yahiko's editorial board Yahiko: ERMFH!!! Don't ask me what I'm doing, because you can very well see that I'm lifting stone slabs to dump into the river by the side of the dojo. I, Myoujin Yahiko will be strong! I SHALL be strong! No one can say I am weak because once I finish moving the entire hill into the river I am the STRONGEST! AHAHAHAHAH!! Happy moving, Yahiko. Yahiko: ERMGH!! ARGH!! DEAARRGGH!!! I have done it! I have moved all the stone slabs into the river! Now I shall go on to cross the stone slabs, and without getting myself wet go across the river! NEHEHEHEH!! A small boy can be scary at times. Trust me. You'll wonder what he'll do when the hormones hit. ---------- Megumi's editorial board Megumi: In the times of Meiji, especially since this is a time of enlightenment, there are always ways better than any of the abovementioned to force the waters in the rivers or lakes into hearing your advise of drying up so that we may all have a good passage away from this little girl's dojo... I call this, electrolysis... Zap zap... Megumi inserts two tubes of turbo-powered hooks into the water to begin the process of separating the hydrogen and oxygen present in water... Megumi: And needless to say, the salt that's left over can be collected and sold in surplus for profit. Always the businesswoman, Takani Megumi... remember... study your Chemistry well. You never know when you're gonna need it. ---------- Aoshi's editorial board Aoshi: ... *sips tea* ... *flips through Zen book* ... *sips more tea* ... *finishes Zen book* ............. *watches sunset* ........... *tries to infer meaning from the breezy night skyline* ... *watches sunrise* ....... *boils more tea* ... *and more tea* ... *writes a Zen book* ..... *reads his own Zen book* .......... *discards the Zen book, takes up old one to reread* ......... *more tea* ... *looks up to see the sea dried up* The sounds of lonely crickets creating their own tune of happiness. Aoshi: Oops. Guess I had too much tea. In a battle of patience with Aoshi, Aoshi always wins. With or without tea. ---------- Misao's editorial board Misao: To be a ninja, one must always be prepared. Equipped from top to toe with the knowledge of the to be and the would be, that is why I, Makimachi Misao can be so the little thief sometimes! AHA! What is this I see before me, with it's jeweled surfaces and a sheet of sheen over it's choppy nature? Tell me not it is water?? Removes something from her backpack, flings it into the sea. Misao: This will solve all our problems! Flings more of This will solve all our problems! into the sea. Misao: Mission accomplished... riverbed completely dried up... now to find Aoshi-sama... AOSHI-SAMA! Where are you?? Aoshi: ... *sips tea, flips through Zen book in the overhead branch of a sturdy tree* ... Sponges suck. Literally. ---------- Shishio's editorial board Shishio: The bunch of idiots the Kenshingumi being, they never realize one thing that they all had in them. It burns with us, it runs us along and is what essentially keeps us alive. I, for one, never bothered myself with the trashy thoughts of keeping my bandages dry for I know... Shishio, in one boost of guts jumps into the waters and explodes into a ball of human fire. Shishio: See! MWAHAHAHAHA!! I have perfected my internal self-combustion and can now walk through any form of liquid without harm! NEHEHEHEEH!! Kenshin: (who is back from shopping) Ah, thanks for opening the path, Shishio. Here's a bottle of cooking oil for you and Yumi and Soujirou. KABOOM... Kenshin: Oh dear... looks like he didn't like my present really well... Shishio Makoto... give me fifteen minutes and a bottle of flammable liquid. ---------- Hiko's editorial board Hiko: There is nothing that defeats me, the ultimate master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu and *strikes genius pose* so all you baka deshis of the bakadeshiKenshingumi is no match for the tensai of tensais, Hiko Seijuurou... Kenshin: Shishou... Hiko: I don't think it's necessary to execute our Ougi to cross a river without getting wet. Kenshin: But... Hiko: It's perfectly logical to cross the bridge. Kenshin: ... *super sweatdrop* Hiko: Baka deshi. Hiko... the genius of the genius strikes again... END ABSOLUTELY INSANE FIC bread@bread.freeservers.com 28/9/98