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Yahiko In Wonderland
by Rhona Medina
"It's such a nice day..." Yahiko yawned during his lesson.
"Yahiko! Are you listening to me?" Kaoru bonked him on the head with her shinai. "Hora! If you aren't going to pay attention, then we'll call it a day."
"Sorry, Kaoru. You can be so boring, though," Yahiko jeered.
"What!?" Kaoru chased him into the backyard. "Yahiko!!"
Too late, Yahiko escaped out of the dojo grounds. He walked along the riverbank, admiring the calm, lazy flow of the water. It was a beautiful, bright day, with clear blue skies and a peaceful lull in the air. Yahiko stopped beneath the shade of a tree along the riverbank. Nestling into the roots, Yahiko was quick to fall asleep.
"Yahiko-chan...I mean, Yahiko-kun...Wake up, please!" Yahiko blinked awake.
"Huh? Tsubame? What are you doing here?" Yahiko sat up straight, anxiously swiping at his mouth in case of unwanted sleep spittle. Was I snoring?
"I'm late! I'm late! If you could move, please?" Tsubame was clutching a pocketwatch, anxiously glancing at it and fidgeting. "It's a very important matter. Now, if you could please move?"
"Huh? Oh," Climbing to his feet, Yahiko was surprised to find a little cave just behind where he had been napping. "That hole... wasn't there before."
"Thank you, no time to say 'hello' good-bye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" Tsubame quickly crouched down and crawled through the hole, disappearing from view.
"Tsu- Tsubame! Wait a second! Where are you going?" Yahiko peered into the mouth of the mysterious little tunnel. "That was weird. Well, I don't have anything else to do." So saying, he bent down and entered the cave.
At the end of the little tunnel, there was nothing Yahiko could see except for a dark, long drop down. Wondering where Tsubame could have possibly gone, he leaned over the edge trying to see down the abyss. Unfortunately, Yahiko lost his grip on the lip of the hole and plunged headfirst down the lightless chasm.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
His descent soon became an unnatural one. He was falling at a much slower pace than he should have been. Falling, he bumped into something in the middle of the blackness and automatically latched it, and stopped falling for a moment. A dim glow began to penetrate the darkness. As his eyes adjusted, Yahiko realized that he was holding onto a desk with a single lamp that was suspended in the middle of the chasm. Shocked, he looked around the wide abyss that he was traveling down. All around him were what seemed to be distorted walls and decorations. Paintings were unsolid, shaped oddly, some as if they were melting. The chasm looked like a warped western-style living room. There were chairs and more desks and tables just sitting in midair, with nothing attached to them. Clocks were everywhere, tall grandfather clocks floating in midair, some melted into the walls, and none of them reading the same time. Unconsciously, Yahiko's grip loosened, and he was falling again. The light faded, and he was in darkness again. Suddenly, he felt a rush and was again awash in light. He came to an unceremonious halt by landing on his butt on a strange tiled floor. What was this place?
Yahiko slowly got up, looking round for Tsubame. The strange decor continued this far as well. With no other choice, Yahiko walked down a funny little hallway that ended with a little door. Taking a deep breath, Yahiko pulled open the door, only to find another, slightly smaller door. So he opened that one, too. And there was another, slightly smaller door. Getting annoyed, he kept flinging open doors, until he came to what seemed to be the last, smallest door. He twisted the knob, which promptly yelled at him to stop it. Yahiko fell backwards in surprise.
"You- you can talk?" A little sweat-drop appeared a Yahiko's temple. "That's not possible..."
"Oh, everything's possible here, young man." The doorknob actually grinned at him. Yahiko thought that he was going to die, this was so strange.
"Well, I'm following a friend, and I think she went through here."
"Hm, well, take a peek." The doorknob opened his keyhole mouth very wide, letting Yahiko peek through. He could barely see Tsubame's fleeing figure.
"Oh, that's her! Great! Let me through!" Yahiko tried to twist the knob again, but the doorknob scrunched up his face away from Yahiko's fingers.
"Oh no, this will never do. You're much to big to get through here."
"Well, what am I supposed to do."
"Try the bottle on the table behind you. Follow the directions carefully, if you please."
"What table? There wasn't a table when I first walked through here." Yahiko turned around, half-suspecting that the knob was playing tricks on him. To his astonishment, there was indeed a little table with a bottle on it.
The doorknob just smiled. Yahiko picked up the bottle. "Drink me" was written on a little tag attached to the bottle. With a little concern, Yahiko drank it anyway. What did he have to lose?
"Huh, it tastes kind of like... green tea." He drank a little more. "Or maybe... onigiri? Not the kind Kaoru makes, though. This is better... Whoa!"
Yahiko had shrunk to about five inches tall, or squirrel-size (without tail length figured in). The doorknob laughed.
"A little more, and you would have disappeared altogether!"
"Really.... Anyway, now I can get through the doorway." He ran up to the door, expecting it to pop open.
"Oh, did you leave the key up there?" The doorknob indicated the table. Turning around, Yahiko saw a brass key sitting there.
"Dammit!!" Yahiko stomped around in anger. "How the hell was I supposed to know I needed that key? How the hell will I get it down here? I'm too small to carry it now."
"Try the box."
"What?" Yahiko stopped trying to puncture holes in the floor. A delicate box appeared at his feet. "What the hell...?"
He sat down and opened the box. It was full of little cookies and pastries, each decorated with directions like "Try me" and "Eat me". So, Yahiko ate one. Immediately, he began growing like the beanstalk that Jack planted. And almost as high, too. The doorknob was squished back into its place, the door itself straining against its hinges.
"Heh, now I can get that damn key." Yahiko grinned. Clutching the relatively puny key, he realized that he was really too big to get through the door now. "Aw, hell..."
"The bottle!" came this little voice, muffled by Yahiko's sandal.
"Oh yeah, the bottle." Yahiko found it and took a swig. He shrank back down to squirrel-size. "All right, now I can get through!"
Yahiko raced through the doorway, but Tsubame was long gone. With no other alternative, Yahiko just ran along the way that he had seen Tsubame go. All manner of oddities were on every side of him. There were fish and birds dancing in a circle around another bird, and things just didn't look quite real around here. Shaking his head, a little sweat-drop there, Yahiko just silently ran along, searching for Tsubame. Presently, Yahiko found himself lost in a thicket. Hearing a noise behind him, he whirled around to find Megumi and Sanosuke fighting behind him.
"How dare you say such things to me?" Megumi snapped.
"I'm only saying what I see!" Sanosuke defended himself.
"Oh wow, you guys are here, too?" Yahiko walked over to them. He was tired of running, anyway. "Did you happen to see Tsubame come this way?"
"Hello! Hello!" Sanosuke grinned.
"Where will you go?" Megumi smiled. "Oh now, please, won't you stay a spell? Listen to the stories we've got to tell."
"Yeah... yeah! What tales they are! And we can see you've journeyed far-"
"No doubt you're tired, in need of rest. Staying here seems best, oh yes!" Megumi danced around Yahiko.
"What's wrong with you guys?" Yahiko could only gape at the two.
"Oh please, oh please! We mean no wrong!" Megumi reassured.
"It's just been long, so very long - !" Sanosuke mused.
"Since we've had another soul to share - " Megumi kept up.
"- all our fun and all our cares - " Sano continued, dancing in a circle.
"And the stories!" Megumi finished.
"Yes, the stories!" Sano spun in circle.
"The stories we can share!" Megumi beamed.
Yahiko tipped forward onto his face, the weight of his sweat-drop too great for him. What was wrong with these two? They were rhyming and dancing around. Sano never dances, and Megumi never smiles so much.
"Hey, did you two do something together...?" Yahiko asked suspiciously.
"What do you mean?" Sano asked.
"Yes, what do you mean?"
"Uh, nothing. Look, it's been great seeing you guys, but I've really go to go..."
"Oh no! Oh no!" Sanosuke frowned.
"Please stay, do stay! We'd like to play -" Megumi pleaded.
"Oh, won't you stay with us today?" Sano invited.
"I'm outta here!" Yahiko raced off, leaving Megumi and Sano to themselves.
"See what you've done? He ran away!" Megumi frowned, smacking Sano a good one on the head.
"Maybe he really just couldn't stay..." Sano wondered. "Or maybe he just didn't want to play..."
"What did you say?" Megumi bonked him on the head again.
"Maybe from you he ran away." Sano grinned. "You're awfully pushy today."
"How dare you say such things to me?"
"I'm only saying what I see...."
Yahiko was so confused, and he couldn't figure out what was going on, and he just wanted to find Tsubame and ask her what she could possibly be doing in such a weird place. He walked blindly through the woods, seeing all manner of strange creatures and plants. What kind of place was this? He could hear some noise off to his left, so he thought he should go and investigate in case it was Tsubame. To his shock, he saw Enishi and Jineh laughing merrily and sharing tea. He came over to where they were and kneeled down on an open mat.
"Oh! Oh! How very rude to sit down without being asked to, little boy!" Enishi laughed.
"But, what's going on here...?"
"Yes, yes, rude indeed!" Jineh chuckled.
"Aren't.... aren't you, well, dead?" Yahiko cocked his head quizzically at Jineh.
"Maybe yes, maybe no. Anything is possible here. That's rude you know, asking if someone's dead. I might be boring..." Jineh thought about it. "Yes, boring, maybe..."
"Move down! Move down! The next mat, if you please!" Enishi roused everyone and shoved them all one place to the right. "Now, ready for tea?"
"Yes, you do like tea, don't you?" Jineh smiled crazily.
"Uh, yeah, I like tea." Yahiko was hesitant.
"Oh, excellent! Share a cup, share a cup!" Enishi took up a pot and began pouring tea for Yahiko. Looking closely at Yahiko's teacup, he snatched it from Yahiko's hands and threw it back over his shoulder. "This will never do, will it, Nee-san? Clean cup, clean cup! We need a clean cup!!"
From within a large teapot, Yahiko saw whom he thought was Tomoe raise the lid slowly. If it was really her, she was about the size of a mouse. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star...." she recited sleepily.
Yahiko stared at her owlishly. I must be losing my mind. She sank back down into the pot. Yahiko felt his own forehead, checking to see if he had a fever. Nope.
"Say, uh, have you guys seen a little girl pass this way recently?"
"Was she looking for tea? We don't like to share our tea with just anyone. Who is it? Where is she? A little girl you say?" Jineh was rolling around laughing.
"Oh, behave! More tea, if you please?" Enishi held his cup out.
"Oh yes, oh yes!" Jineh picked up a teapot and accidentally flung scalding tea everywhere. He burned his own hands and a bit of his face, which began turning red at an alarming rate. "Oh, I love this feeling!"
Yahiko could only stare, a huge sweat-drop at his temple. These guys were crazy.
"A little girl, you say? Was she like Nee-san?" Enishi's eyes were rolling around in his head.
At the mention of her name, Tomoe poked her head up sleepily from her teapot. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star...."
"So you're the one Kenshin used to be in love with..." Yahiko looked at her sleepy face.
At the sound of Kenshin's name, Tomoe flew out of the teapot. "Battousai!!! I'll have him killed! He took my love from me!! He took everything!!! Battousai!!!!" Tomoe raged around like a tornado.
"Oh! Oh! See what you've done! Nee-san! Nee-san!" Enishi chased after her.
"Never mention that name!" Jineh joined the chase, spraying tea everywhere.
"Here, here! Bring that jam!" Enishi was attached to the back of Tomoe's kimono, getting flung from side to side. "Ha ha! I do say, the jam! The jam!"
Yahiko brought the jam. Jineh took it and threw it across Tomoe's face. Almost instantly, she calmed down to her regular sleepy self. Jineh laughed hysterically.
"That was very rude, getting her all riled up like that. You must never speak that name." Enishi chuckled. "More tea?"
"That was fun." Jineh laughed.
"Uh, I've really got to go. I must find my friend." Yahiko made a quick exit. Behind him, Enishi and Jineh were still cackling and drinking tea. I wonder if there was something in the tea...
Nothing made sense here. He came upon a little clearing and spied a little two-story house. The roof was thatched with straw, and the windows had little shutters of wood. Everything was decorated with pink hearts and was very cute. Yahiko just looked at it, wondering what kind of person could live there. Suddenly, his eyes opened wide in disbelief. Was that Tsubame rushing out of the door?
"Oi! Tsubame!!! Wait!" He ran over to her fretting form. Was she calling for someone?
"Oh, Yuutarou! Where have you been? I can't find my ribbon! Go upstairs and get it!" Tsubame looked relieved.
"Oh, sure, Tsubame." Yahiko ran inside and up the stairs, he was so used to listening to Tsubame. "Wait a second, did she call me 'Yuutarou'? Why is she waiting for that guy? What the hell... Dammit, I don't even know where her stupid ribbon is, anyway. What am I doing here?" Yahiko began poking around in desks and drawers looking for Tsubame's ribbon. He found a little box with cookies in it, not unlike the box the doorknob had pointed out to him earlier. His stomach complaining mildly, he helped himself to one. Hey, they told you to eat them, anyway. That growing problem again. Tsubame was beginning to wonder what was taking him so long when she saw his sandalled foot burst out of the front door. His overgrown arms were forced out of the windows.
"AAAAHHHH!!! A monster! A monster is in my house! Somebody help me! Save me!!" Tsubame ran around frantically. "He's a monster!!"
"What the hell, Tsubame? They were your cookies that did this to me. It's not my fault." Yahiko pouted.
"Monster!!!!!" Tsubame screamed.
The constable ran up to Tsubame, asking what was wrong.
Yahiko squinted through one little window. "Oh! Saitoh! Help me outta this, will ya?"
Constable Saitoh just looked at the humanized house. "Well, Miss, it seems you have a boy stuck in your house. Although I have no idea how he got so large." Saitoh took a slow drag from his cigarette.
"What can we do, Constable?"
"Why are you calling him a constable, Tsubame? He's -"
"Well, I think the easiest way would be to burn him out of the house."
"WHAT!?!" Yahiko wasn't sure if he had heard Saitoh correctly.
"I'm sorry, Miss, but we must burn the house down. We must kill such evil instantly, you know." Saitoh smiled ominously, taking another drag >from his cigarette.
"Is that really necessary, Constable? This is my home...." Tsubame looked forlornly at the ground, and then at the house with legs. "But I suppose..."
"Yeah, Saitoh, is that really necessary?" Yahiko was panicked. How would he escape?
"Yes, I'm afraid that it is, Miss. Kill. Evil. Instantly. This monster is most assuredly evil." Saitoh flicked the end of his burning cigarette onto the straw-thatched roof. It slowly began to burn. With some satisfaction, he watched the glowing light begin to smoke.
"Crap! What am I gonna do?" Yahiko spied a garden off to the side of the house. "Why the hell not?"
He reached over and plucked up what he discovered was a carrot from the vegetable patch.
"Oh no, not my vegetables too!" Tsubame wailed. "You monster!" she looked at her pocketwatch. "Oh, I'm really, really late! I'm late! I'm late!" She ran off.
"Sorry, Tsubame," Yahiko apologized, and then ate the carrot. He shrank immediately, shocking Saitoh.
Saitoh gawked in disbelief. Where did the monster go? Yahiko, again squirrel-size, ran past without Saitoh ever registering the fact. He had to catch up to Tsubame. At the rate that he was currently traveling at, however, he would never be able to catch her. He was having a hard time forging his way through the beds of flowers and grass. He couldn't even tell where he was going.
"Who are you?" a smoky voice breathed through a haze of color.
"Wha- who's there?" Yahiko couldn't see anything except clouds of smoke.
"I asked you first. Who are you?"
The smoke cleared a little, letting Yahiko see who the voice was. Shishio was sitting atop a giant mushroom, smoking his pipe lazily.
"Shishio!" Yahiko cried.
"Who are you?" Shishio repeated.
"You know who I am." Yahiko growled.
"Dictation, if you please."
"What?"
"Dictator, I would be." Shishio puffed on his pipe.
"What?"
"Why did you come here?" A ring of smoke encircled Yahiko.
Coughing, he asked, "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? What do you mean? Are you proper? Why are you here?" Shishio was pretty good at making shapes with smoke curls.
"Look, I just want to find my friend." Yahiko nervously faced Shishio.
"Oh really..." with every exhalation, bright colored smoke-letters floated past Yahiko. "Why do you wish to do such a thing? Does she want to be found by you?"
"What do you mean?"
"What precisely do I mean, indeed?" thin streams of smoke curled around Yahiko's ears. "And what do you mean by asking, 'what do you mean'? And what I do mean by that?"
"Huh?" Yahiko was perplexed. "Um, look, I'm gonna go now. I want to find my friend, and I can't understand what you're talking about." Yahiko started backing up through the blades of grass, he turned and walked off, calling back over his shoulder, "I have to figure out how to get back to the right size and get the hell outta here, and you're not helping!"
"Well, how perfectly rude!" Shishio turned around on his mushroom. "But if you'd like to know one thing...."
"Oh, what now..." Yahiko came trudging back through the grass to Shishio's mushroom. "Where the hell...?"
"If you really must know...." Shishio's voice echoed from some unknown origin. "One side will make you bigger, the other side, smaller."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Yahiko called out.
"The mushroom, you fool!" Shishio popped up in front up Yahiko's face, eyes blazing bright. "You would do well to remember your place!" And then he was gone, leaving his pipe trailing wisps of smoke on top of the mushroom.
"Ok, that was weird. The mushroom, huh?" Yahiko walked slowly around the mushroom. "Which side is which? Well, I guess I'll try them both."
With that, Yahiko broke off a little piece of the mushroom from the left side, and then a piece from the right side. The morsels of mushroom were quite spongy and fragrant, the scent of black licorice. Yahiko wrinkled his nose a little, examining both mushroom bits.
"Well, here goes." He took a nibble from the piece in his left hand, noticing that it didn't taste anything at all like black licorice. Suddenly he shot up into the air, growing nearly a hundred feet. A little bird was horrified at the sight.
"Help! It's a snake! Oh! And it's after my nest!" She began darting about, pecking and scratching Yahiko's face.
"Hey, what the hell! I'm no snake!" Yahiko squeezed his eyes almost shut to keep the bird from getting into them. "Wait... Misao?"
"Help! Snake!!!"
"God, you act like her... I'm outta here!" Yahiko took a nibble from the mushroom piece in his right hand, instantly shrinking back to the size he started from. "Whew, I'm glad that's over! So, let's see.... if I took a bite, and it made me that big... then..."
Yahiko took a little lick of the mushroom in his right hand, and returned to his normal height. Putting both pieces into his belt-sash, he set off in search of Tsubame again. In no time at all, Yahiko was lost in the woods again.
"Dammit! I'm lost again!!" Yahiko's tracking skills left something to be desired, to say the least.
"If you don't know where you are, does that mean you're really lost?" a funny little face appeared in the tree before him. Hannya? "Look here, if you don't know where you are, and you don't know where you're going, then you're not really lost because you have no destination in mind."
"Gods, doesn't anyone make any sense around here?" Yahiko watched in awe as the rest of Hannya showed up slowly. There were his striped arms, his... striped body? And legs? And...tail???
"What the hell...?"
"Don't try to understand what cannot be understood, young one." Hannya rolled over onto his back. "And if you cannot understand, then why puzzle over it? It's a mad, mad place, this one."
"What is this place then?"
"What is any place, really. Isn't every place merely someplace that we have been to, or that we have been searching for, like a dream long lost in wakefulness?"
"What?"
Hannya faded from the tree, his arms in the act of climbing down the trunk. "Where do you go when you've lost something?" Hanna's frozen face appeared next to Yahiko's shoulder. "We go to all the places that we've been, yes? If you go that way, there's a lovely little tea party going on. Some fun people. Oh, interesting, interesting." Hannya disappeared, reappearing in the middle of the path, standing on his head. "And over there, that way, are a fun couple. They're quite mad, too, if I do say so myself."
"Oh, enough of that! I don't want to go back and talk to them! They don't make sense!" Yahiko fumed.
"Of course, I'm quite mad, too." Hannya faded completely out of the picture. Yahiko frowned in consternation. Hannya's right arm reappeared, the fingers pointing to the left, just above Yahiko's eyes. "But if I were you, which I'm not, but if I were, then I would go that way." Hannya's voice faded away with his body. "Especially if you're looking for a certain young girl..." the disembodied voice taunted.
"Well, crap. I guess I'll try that way." Yahiko conceded, especially because he didn't know where he was going. He turned the way Hannya directed, following a path he hadn't seen there prior to his discussion with the striped figure.
As Yahiko ventured at a good clip along the winding path, a nice golden color that was easy to follow, he became aware of a swishing sound. It kept growing and growing, until it was nearly a thunderous roar in Yahiko's ears. Covering his poor ears with the palms of his hands, Yahiko anxiously awaited the source of the sound. It seemed to be coming right for him. Shikijyo was working his way along the path, coming from the opposite direction from Yahiko. The big man was swinging a huge broom, actually sweeping the path out of existence. What was Yahiko supposed to do now? Shikijyo just kept going, sidestepping the lost Yahiko, and continuing with his task. He soon disappeared behind the boy, taking the path Yahiko had followed along with him. Well, nothing to do but to continue the way he had been going. So, Yahiko forged himself a path through the grass, straight as the crow flies, which probably was incorrect, for such a place. Hedges began sprouting up seemingly out of nowhere. Soon, he came upon the sound of singing.
"We're painting the roses red, yes the roses red!" Soujirou, Yumi, and Houki were racing around a white rose bush, indeed painting the roses red.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Yahiko was incredulous.
"Her Majesty prefers the roses red, because it so reminds her of His Majesty. We foolishly planted white rose bushes. We must change the color before she comes to see what we've done." Soujirou smiled mysteriously.
"What the hell...?" Yahiko wondered if he should help them. They were pretty frantic, but he still had not caught up to Tsubame. Paint was spattering everywhere.
In the distance, but not really so very far away, trumpets could be heard. The Queen was coming.
"Oh! Oh! Best we hide the paints!" Houki cried.
"Oh, she'll have our heads for this!" Yumi sighed.
"What?"
"Yes, she'll put them on spikes in front of her palace, to make an example of anyone who fails her." Soujirou informed Yahiko. The trumpets were much closer now, right around a bend in the hedges.
"Kaoru!" Yahiko's eyes were wide with surprise.
"Bow, you fool!" Houki nervously dragged Yahiko down to the grass floor.
"Who has painted my roses red!?!" Kaoru was thunderous. Everyone cringed.
Kenshin trailed a step behind her raging form, an indulgent expression on her face. Geez, even in the world, Kenshin caves in to her, no matter what.... Yahiko could only smile and shake his head.
"Off with his head!!" The Queen of Hearts had spotted the paint on Houki's clothes.
Trembling, he tried to switch the blame to Yumi, who then tried to switch it to Soujirou, who only smiled. The Queen looked at all three, and then announced, "Off with all their heads!" As they were being dragged away, her eye fell on Yahiko. She was pacified for a moment, intrigued by the young boy's appearance. "Oh, who is this?"
"It seems to be a little boy, de gozaru yo." Yahiko laughed inwardly. Even here...
"What is so funny, young one? I could have the guards take your head in a moment." The Queen was serious. She changed the subject, however. "Have you, perchance, ever sparred before?"
"Of course! I spar with you all the..." Yahiko thought over what he was about to say for a moment, then changed his tactics. "I mean, I have had some practice in the past."
"You will address as her 'Your Majesty', de gozaru." It was all Yahiko could do to keep from laughing out loud.
"I would be honored, Your Majesty," Yahiko bowed grandly.
"Very good, then." The Queen smiled. "If I win, you lose your head."
"What if I win?"
"You won't, but if you do, then you keep your head."
Great.
The entire court was set up around a little clearing between the hedges to witness the bout. No one ever beat the Queen, and they didn't think that this little boy would be able to do it. Still, it should prove a fairly interesting afternoon. The King approached Yahiko with a bokken, offering a quiet word of advice to the boy, "Try to lose, but not blatantly so." Yahiko nodded silently. Oh boy. To his surprise, Tsubame was the one that gave the Queen her bokken. She stepped quietly out of the ring, head bowed to the Queen.
"Tsubame! What are you doing -"
"No words, boy! Speak with your sword!"
"Huh." Yahiko lunged at the Queen, like so many sparring practices with Kaoru. She deftly deflected the attack. Yahiko leaped back. The Queen smiled.
"Good form, ne?" She said to the King, who had a little smile on his face. She turned to Yahiko, deliberately baiting him. "Is that the best you can do, little boy?"
"No." Quick as lightning, he lunged again, but changed his attack. The Queen blocked that too, but Yahiko was able to get a small hit in, directly in the shoulder, making the Queen take a step back and gasp for breath in surprise. She was enraged. She had never been hit before, let alone by this mere whelp of a boy. Yahiko merely grinned at her.
"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!"
"Hey, we're not finished yet!" Yahiko complained.
"Now you've done it. You should get out of here, I think. Or maybe we could have a trial..." The King was thoughtful.
"I'm getting the hell outta here!!" Yahiko took off, wielding the bokken against anyone who got too close. Where the hell was the way out?
Yahiko ran in what felt like circles, trying to find a means of escape. What was he going to do? The guards and everyone were catching up to his tiring form. A door was suddenly at the end of a row of hedges. Yes! An out! He tried the door, but it was locked.
"You again!" The doorknob cried in pain.
"You!" had Yahiko come all the way back to the door he had first come through to this strange land? "Come on, let me through!!"
"I'm still locked, young man." the doorknob chuckled.
"This isn't funny!! Open up!!!" Yahiko pounded on the door, trying to force it open. "I need to get back to my own world!!"
"Oh but you are!" the doorknob opened wide his keyhole mouth, through which Yahiko could see his figure sleeping against a familiar tree near the familiar river. Was he asleep? The doorknob smiled. "All you have to do is wake up."
"Chikkusho!" the guards were almost upon him. He turned to the keyhole, shouting at himself to wake up. "Wake up!! Wake up, Yahiko!!! Wake up!!..."
"Wake up, Yahiko. Come on, now, wake up. You can't sleep here all day." Yahiko sat up and rubbed his eyes. Where was he?
"Tsubame? I found you..." Yahiko wasn't quite sure if he was awake or not.
Kaoru popped up from behind the tree. "Were you looking for her in your dreams?" She teased.
Yahiko shot her a withering look, and she giggled.
"I was at the Akabeko all morning. Where did you think I was?" Tsubame smiled gently.
"I... never mind." He looked at Kaoru. "Hey, I dreamed I beat you in a match."
"Yep, definitely dreaming." Kaoru teased.
Yahiko got up. Together they went back to the dojo. Yahiko looked back over his shoulder at the tree, wondering where such a dream could have come from. Shocked, he saw a teacup floating just above a little hole at the base of the tree, and then both slowly disintegrated into nothingness. Yahiko didn't say anything to Kaoru nor Tsubame. Better keep this to myself.
"Hey, what to know what I dreamed about? You were both in it. Kaoru, you were this crazy queen beheading everyone...."
"What!!! Thanks a lot, Yahiko! Now I see what you think of me..."
Their voices trailed off into the distance as they returned home.