From: "Sekihara Tae" Risu-chan asked me to forward this... enjoy some real-life (pun intended) RK fun! -Tae ----------------------------------------------- Rurouni Kenshin: Requiem for Insanity (performed at the Anime Central masquerade April 23, 1999; recipient of a Judges' Choice Award from Lorraine Reyes) Director and choreographer: Keith Producer, writer, costumer, props, and just about everything else: Risu-chan Sanity checker: (Position vacant, currently accepting applications.) Cast (order of appearance): Kaoru: Kathleen Kenshin: Risu-chan Ryoga: Kris Kuno: Josh Aoshi: Keith Inspector Zenigata: J. C. [Ext., Kamiya Dojo. Kenshin is scrubbing a sheet in the laundry bucket, facing stage left; Kaoru is practicing shinai drills downstage, and there's a teapot onstage in the background.] Kaoru (between strikes): Kenshin, don't forget to buy the tofu when you're done. Kenshin: Hai, hai, Kaoru-dono. ("pinning" up a sheet. To himself happily): Masshiro de gozaru... [Dramatic pause] Ryoga (staggering in from stage right): **pant pant pant** (glare of death at the back of Kenshin's head:) Saotome Ranma, prepare to die! Kenshin (not turning around): Oro? [Ryoga draws the umbrella and charges; Kenshin takes a half-step sideways, and Ryoga runs headlong into the sheet.] Kaoru: My laundry! (stalking over, shinai in hand, winding up for a vertical chop at the struggling pile of Ryoga and sheet:) Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu Laundry-Protecting Style, Vengeance from on High, Shinai of Doom!-- [she swings down but the shinai's not there.] [Kenshin walks around to sit on his heels by Ryoga with the shinai in his hand, looking innocent: "what, it's my fault she left it back there for me to take hold of?"] Kenshin (to Ryoga:) Are you all right de gozaru? [Kaoru is winding up to pulverize Kenshin, except they both get caught by Ryoga's next line.] Ryoga: Don't you dare make fun of me, Ranma...! [Kenshin and Kaoru blink at each other, then at Ryoga.] Kenshin: Let me get this straight. You *don't* want to kill the Hitokiri Battousai? Ryoga: Never heard of him. --Will somebody let me out of here? Kaoru: Wait a minute... (fingertip to chin) Saotome Ranma... and he gets lost in a sheet... [She picks up the laundry bucket and dumps it over the sheet. From underneath we hear outraged squeals, and out pops a little stuffed black piglet.] Kaoru: I thought so. [She picks up the teapot with one hand, tosses the piglet under the sheet with the other, dumps the teapot over the sheet, takes the sheet away.] Kaoru: Hibiki Ryoga. Ryoga (blinking up at the pair of them): --Wait a minute, you're not Ranma. Kenshin (sheepish grin): I'm very sorry... Ryoga: But... but... the guy in the trenchcoat told me the redhead lives here. How many redheads *are* there in Japan? Kaoru (half to herself): Incredible. I didn't know *anybody* could get themselves lost by a hundred and ten years... Kenshin (to Kaoru): Kaoru-dono, you know him? Kaoru (to Kenshin): Everybody knows Ranma. Ryoga (shaking his head, picking himself up): Never mind. It doesn't matter. I've gone through living hell to get here and *somebody* is going to pay for it! Saoto-- um... who are you? Kenshin (bowing): Himura Kenshin. Pleased to meet you. Ryoga (bowing back reflexively): Hibiki Ryoga, likewise. (Picking up the umbrella again:) Himura Kenshin, pre-- mmmphh... Kaoru (hand over Ryoga's mouth): Just call him Battousai. We're used to hearing it that way. Ryoga (pulling away to glower at her): Are you going to let me kill him or not? Kaoru: Oh, certainly. Be my guest. Kenshin: Kaoru-dono--! Kaoru (evil grin): What's the matter? You're the one who took my shinai. (Sitting down to watch:) This should be fun. Ryoga: AHEM. (getting a good grip on the umbrella:) Himura Battousai, prepare to die! Kaoru: That's better. Kenshin: Oro...! (absentmindedly dodging a swing) Ano-- (dodge) Ryoga-dono-- (duck) why do you want to kill me de gozaru ka? (dodge) Kaoru: Since when has that mattered? Kenshin (turning tragic eyes on Kaoru): Not you too...! [and Ryoga gets him while he's not looking; he lands face-first on the floor with one foot sticking up, sandal half off, vaguely twitching.] Kenshin (muffled): Ororooo... [Another dramatic entrance.] Kuno: Pig-tailed girl! [Kaoru topples over sideways, still cross-legged.] Kuno: Never fear, pig-tailed girl! I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken High, have come to save you! Kaoru: I think he means you. Kenshin (picking self up from floor): Yare yare... it's not my fault I've got a female voice actor... Kaoru: If you're so worried about it, get a haircut. (Kenshin facefaults again.) Ryoga: Uh... Kuno... how'd you get here? Kuno: I followed you. Wherever you are, somehow, my pig-tailed goddess is never far away. Kaoru (incredulous): You followed HIM? Nobody in their right minds follows HIM. Ryoga (nervous grin at Kaoru): Um... that's kind of the problem. Kuno: Silence, fiend. For wounding my beloved pig-tailed girl, you shall surely taste my wrath... Aoshi (walking on from stage left): I hope it's better than her cooking. (Walking past Ryoga to look down impassively at the back of Kenshin's head:) Don't waste your time, boy. I will never allow anyone but myself to kill the Hitokiri Battousai. (Aoshi draws the short sword and starts lining up with the back of Kenshin's neck...) Kaoru (seething): Shinomori Aoshi, you -- you -- (flings her sandal at him, and it bounces off his chest; Aoshi doesn't blink.) NOBODY gets to insult my cooking! Ryoga (this is somehow familiar even if he's not sure why): Yeah! Nobody gets to insult her cooking! --Besides, I was here first! You want to kill him, you have to go through me... Aoshi: That can be arranged. Kuno: Hold, thou varlet. His death is mine. Aoshi (one eyebrow quirked): Varlet? Ryoga: He talks like that. We just have to hit him until he stops. Kuno: SILENCE! Both of you have threatened harm to my beloved-- Aoshi (both eyebrows quirked): Your what? Kuno: --and I will not endure this in silence! Ryoga: Nah, we couldn't get that lucky. Kuno: For the honor of my beloved pig-tailed goddess, face the fury of the Blue Thunder of Furinken High, Tatewaki Kuno-- Aoshi (staring at Kuno, then down at Kenshin, then struggling with a grin because if he actually smiled it might crack his face): You're missing something here, varlet boy. [He hooks a toe under Kenshin's shoulder and rolls him over; Kenshin sits up blinking and rubbing his head.] Kenshin: Oro...? (looking up at Aoshi, then dropping his face into his hand): This day just keeps getting better. Kuno (staring down at Kenshin): You... you're not my pig-tailed girl! Kenshin (miserably): I'm sorry already. Kuno (towering rage): *What have you done to my pig-tailed girl?* (Kuno swings his bokken down at Kenshin and finds himself blocked by both Ryoga and Aoshi.) Aoshi: His death was mine, long ago. He simply hasn't realized it yet. Ryoga: Well, it's mine today; get in line, mister trenchcoat... [Everyone starts to swing -- Kuno and Ryoga at Aoshi, Aoshi down at Kenshin who's huddled in a little ball...] [From off left:] Zenigata: STOP!!! [Everyone freezes. The inspector stalks onstage.] Zenigata: Hold it right there! Masquerade rules: NO COMBAT SCENES! You're under arrest, all of you... (Kenshin topples over sideways in sheer relief.) Everyone else: WHAT?! Ryoga (to Isaac the masquerade coordinator): Can he do that? (Isaac nods at us.) Ryoga: But... but... I was about to kick some tail here! Zenigata: We can discuss that at the station. Come on. (producing a double- handful of handcuffs and applying at random...) (As the horde exits, Kenshin manacled to the laundry bucket and beaming in relief, and everyone else manacled to each other and grumbling...) Ryoga (to Isaac): Once I've settled my score with Saotome Ranma, you're next. Isaac: Yeah, yeah, whatever; go on, get off my stage. ----FINIS---- Some pics of the horde online -- Genjitsu's ACen Page (aka Sano with zanbatou... ororooo... the pictures are in his comments section, but the intro is too entertaining to skip...) http://members.xoom.com/pcphotos/ACen/intro01.html Linus Lam Network Coverage of ACen 99 http://www.usagichan.com/Acen99/acen99masquerade7.htm (group shot at bottom of page) http://www.usagichan.com/Acen99/acen99masquerade4.htm (Kaoru & Kenshin at bottom of page) (Coming soon I promise: All That Matters ch. 6...) --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- ATTN ONELIST USERS: stay current on the latest activities, programs, & features at ONElist by joining our member newsletter at Click ------------------------------------------------------------------------