From: "Sakka-chan" <sakka@ix.netcom.com>

Konbanwa, minna-san!

<sighs>  Goodness, this got long!  But the shorter version 
I finished first just wasn't doing the RuroKen boys justice. 
For all of those who've been waiting eagerly for the conclusion 
to this sordid tale... hope it doesn't disappoint!

Thanks once again to MadamHydra-san, who served as editor, 
co-creator and co-writer for several sections... as well as creator 
of the Nightwitches, whom I've borrowed extensively for this 
crazy fic.  Arigatou!  <grins>

On with the show!  ^.~

..............................................

Rurouni Kenshin Presents -- The Meiji-Era Full Monty!  Part 2
by Sakka-chan and MadamHydra


<The big night!  Backstage, the men are restless.>

Kamatari:  Oi, Hiko!  Stop hogging the mirror!

Hiko:  <checking his perfect teeth for the thousandth time> Feh.
Make me, girly-man.

Kamatari:  <striking a pose and fluttering his eyelashes> Hey, we
can't all be tall, strong hunks like you.  C'mon, shove over and let a
man primp, will ya?

Chou:  <peeking out at the audience>  Damn!  Look at all those
babes... all here to see us.  <rubs his hands together>  I'm bound to
score tonight!

Sanosuke:  Calm down, broom-head... we gotta finish the show first.
Ten minutes, men!  Oi, Soujirou, have you seen Kenshin?

Soujirou:  <rubbing the back of his neck>  Ara... I was just coming to
tell you.  We might have a problem...

Sanosuke:  <grabbing Soujirou by the shoulders>  Soujirou... there
can *be* no problems ten minutes before showtime.  Where is he?

Soujirou:  Back there.  <smiles brightly>  We can go on without him,
ne, Sagara-san?

Sanosuke:  Chikusho...

<He mutters several more curses as he ducks behind another curtain.
Kenshin is sitting hunched over in a corner, hair down, his arms
wrapped around his knees, shaking his head emphatically as Aoshi
and Saitou try to reason with him.>

Kenshin:  You don't understand... I can't go through with this!  Not
now...

Saitou:  Battousai.  You've faced death and worse... and you're telling
me you can't face this?

Aoshi:  Saitou's right.  You're the one known as the strongest... you
have to go out there and prove it.

Sanosuke:  <claps Kenshin on the shoulder>  Oi, Kenshin... a little
stage-fright is perfectly normal.  You'll get over it.  C'mon, let's get
your
hair fixed... it's almost time to go on.

Kenshin:  <flatly> I'm *not* going out there, Sano.

Sanosuke:  <yanking him up> Dammit, Kenshin!  You have to... that
mob'll get ugly if you don't!  And Shishio's got nothing on a pack of
angry fangirls... especially after a few cups of sake...

Kenshin:  <frantically> I can't do it!  K- K- K-

Sanosuke:  Spit it out, Kenshin!

Saitou:  <rolling his eyes>  What he's trying to say is... Kamiya Kaoru's
in the audience.  Front and center.  With all her little friends.

Aoshi:  <clearing his throat> Did you say.... *all* her friends?
<swallows and tugs on collar>

<Saitou smirks and takes another drag.>

Sanosuke:  <exasperated>  Is that all?  Of *course* Jou-chan's here!
She's probably loaded already, too... lightweight that she is...

Kenshin:  <relieved>  Then you understand why I can't... you know...
with her there.

Sanosuke:  <stunned>  You mean to tell me you're afraid to strip in
front of her?  <disgustedly>  Che, Kenshin... I think you've been doing
too much laundry.  Are you a man or what?

Kenshin:  <indignant>  Of course I'm a man!  Shikashi...

Sanosuke:  <folding his arms>  No buts!  You and Jou-chan have
been tiptoeing around this man/woman thing for too long.  This is the
perfect night for you to change all that.  Get out there and show her
*exactly* what kind of man you are, Kenshin!  You'll have her falling at
your feet before the night is through, I promise you...

Kenshin:  <cheeks reddening>  This wasn't exactly the kind of
courtship I had in mind, Sano.

Sanosuke:  Kenshin, at the rate your courtship is progressing,
Yahiko'll be married before you two!  Something drastic is just what
you need to speed things up... trust Sanosuke the Love-Sensei on this
one, okay?

Kenshin:  <massive sweatdrop>  If you say so...

Saitou:  <snorting>  Ahou.

Aoshi:  <calmly>  It's nearly time.  Are you ready, Battousai?

Kenshin:  <shakily>  I think so.  Where's my cap?

Sanosuke:  That's it!  Gambatte, Kenshin!

Kamatari:  <grabbing Kenshin's hand and dragging him over to the
mirror>  Don't worry, Ken-chan!  I'll get you fixed up in no time...

Soujirou:  Five minutes, minna-san!

Sanosuke:  Where the hell is our announcer?  Katsu!  Get over here,
baka-yarou!

Katsu:  <shoving the curtain aside>  Oi, baka-yarou. I'm right here...
no need to shout.  I'm ready when you guys are.

Soujirou:  Three minutes!

...............

<Meanwhile, the audience is getting *very* restless.  At a table in the
front row...>

Misao:  <shouting drunkenly>  Oi!  What are you guys waiting for?
<banging the table with the sake jug>  C'mon, c'mon... we wanna see
you get *naked*!

Kaoru:  <blushing>  Misao-chan!  That's not why we're here!

Misao:  <rolls her eyes>  Yeah, right, Kaoru-san.  <lowers her voice
suggestively>  Tell me you're not *dying* to see Himura take off his
clothes.  Slowly.  Right in front of you.

Kaoru:  <beet-red>  Misao-chan!  I'm here to *protect* Kenshin from
these... hussies... who would actually pay money to see men strip.
It's degrading, I tell you!

Megumi:  <dryly>  Not to mention improper.  <fox-ears>  I can hardly
wait!

Misao:  Ne, Kaoru-san... if you're not here to see Himura strip, then
what're you gonna do when he starts?  Close your eyes?

Kaoru:  Y- yes, of course!  I'll cover my eyes...

Megumi:  <eyes glinting mischievously>  Such a shame.  You'll miss
a *great* show.  Me, I intend to watch *every* minute of Ken-san's...
performance.  Ohohohoho!

Kaoru:  <growling>  Megumi-san!  You both have to shut your eyes,
too!  It's only fair...

Misao:  <folds her arms and shakes her head vigorously>  Dame,
dame, dame!  I'm not missing this for anything!  <yells>  Aoshi-
samaaaaaa!  I'm waaaaaiting!

Megumi:  <grimacing>  Yare, yare, she's a loud drunk.  Kaoru-san,
you've barely touched your sake.  You should at least finish your cup.

Kaoru:  <primly>  No, thank you.  I want to keep my head clear
tonight.

Megumi:  <yawns>  How boring.  No drinking, no watching the men.
<fox-ears twitching> Maybe you should just go home to bed, little girl.

Kaoru:  <angrily>  What's that supposed to mean?

Megumi:  <loftily>  Well... it's obvious you're too immature to
appreciate this sort of... adult entertainment.  Ken-san obviously
approves, otherwise he wouldn't be taking part in it.  <flirtatious
smile> And if Ken-san approves... I certainly do.  <pulling out a yen
note>  So I'll be the one to cheer him on instead.

Misao:  <brightening>  Oh, I forgot about that!  <rummaging around
in her obi and coming up with a wrinkled yen note>  Hee, hee!  For
my beloved Aoshi-sama!  Of course, he'll have to get close enough
to get it from me...  <swoons>

Kaoru:  <looking nervous>  What exactly are those for?

Megumi:  <eyes glinting>  Tipping the dancers.  Tradition demands
the women in the audience place money in their favorite dancer's
fundoshi.  <challenging smile>  Guess who gets *my* tip?

Kaoru:  <hopefully>  Uh... Sanosuke?

Megumi:  Heh.  Don't you wish!

Kaoru:  <flames behind her>  ME-GU-MI-SAN!

<Kaoru and Megumi stare daggers at each other while Misao
sweatdrops.>

Misao:  Ano... I have a suggestion!  <pushes sake jug at them>  A
challenge... for the right to tip Himura.  First one to pass out loses.

Kaoru:  <pauses>  Okay, I'm in.  What about you?

Megumi:  <tosses her hair>  I'm game.  Should be an easy win for
me...

Kaoru:  <snarls>  Don't count me out so easily!  <grabs her nearly full
cup and swigs it down>

Megumi:  <whispers to Misao>  Way to go... that should loosen her
up.  If she doesn't fall over first.

Misao:  <whispers back proudly>  Told ya you could count on me!
Now, pretend you had too much...

Megumi:  No... it's too soon.  She'll get suspicious.  <out loud>  My
turn!  <She pours another cup and drains it.>

<A few tables away...>

Tokio:  <fanning herself slowly>  My goodness!  This is quite a
turnout... I hope it doesn't scare off our performers.

Asuko:  <snickering>  Feh.  You're just hoping that cantankerous
husband of yours doesn't skip out at the last minute.  It'd be just like
him to say to hell with all this silliness.

Tokio:  <serenely>  I'm afraid that won't happen.  Once Hajime gives
me his word, he never breaks it.

Asuko:  Hmph.  We'll see.  <eyes brightening>  As for me, I'm looking
forward to seeing my boy Seijuurou.  He always was a handsome
devil...

Risako:  <dryly>  And an exhibitionist at heart.  I'm surprised his ego
leaves room for anyone else up there...

Tokio:  Now, Risako...

Maki:  <chuckling>  You have to admit it's true, sister.  <to Risako>
And *you* have to admit Seijuurou has reason to be confident.

Risako:  <scowling>  Hmph.  I admit nothing of the kind.  Still, I
suppose this little farce will be amusing, if nothing else.

Maki:  <eyes gleaming wickedly>  I expect to be thoroughly
entertained... I'm very much looking forward to seeing the star of the
show.  He's grown up well, don't you think, Risako?

<Risako stares stonily at Maki.>

Tokio:  <hiding a brief smile behind her fan>  Maki, dear... don't
tease your niece.

Yuka:  <laughing merrily>  Oh, this is such fun!  The sight of all the
youngsters enjoying themselves like this makes me feel young
again...

Asuko:  <raising an eyebrow>  Let me guess.  Young enough to tuck
some yen-notes in the fundoshi of that strapping young okashira
you're so fond of?

<Yuka merely giggles.>

Risako:  I still can't believe you got Shinomori Aoshi to agree to this.
He's the *last* person I'd expect to participate in an escapade like this.

Yuka:  <slyly>  Let's just say Shinomori-san owes me a favor...

Asuko:  <grinning>  Heh.  I'd think you could come up with a better
method of repayment than this silliness, Yuka.

Yuka:  <laughing in protest>  Oh, Asuko!

<The lanterns suddenly dim, eliciting a roar of approval from the
female audience.  Katsu stalks out onto the stage, staring unsmilingly
at the raucous crowd, who immediately start shrieking and chanting,
"Take it off!  Take it off!."  Katsu ignores them and clears his throat,
reading off a piece of paper in his hand.>

Katsu:  And now... for your viewing pleasure... Himura Kenshin and
friends perform "The Meiji-Era Full Monty!"

<He dashes offstage as the audience goes wild, showering the
stage with yen-notes.  As the music starts, the performers take the
stage, driving the audience to a new level of frenzy.  Kenshin takes
his place center-stage... and pales as he sees Kaoru sitting at the
table right in front of him.>

Kenshin:  <trembling smile> Eeto... k- konbanwa, Kaoru-dono.

Kaoru:  <smiling wickedly> Keeeen~shiiiiiin!  <waves a yen-note at
him>  I'm ready when you are!  Dance for me, baby!

Kenshin:  <sweatdrop>  Oro...

Sanosuke:  <grinning>  Kenshin!  Didn't I tell you?  She *wants* you,
man!  Don't lose confidence now...

Kenshin:  <swallows>  Right.  <nods to the musicians>  Let's do it.


-- On to Part 3!  --



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