From: "Sakka-chan" <sakka@ix.netcom.com>

Here's the third part! The finale is forthcoming...

Oh, and I forgot my disclaimers... I don't own Rurouni Kenshin... 
I don't own The Full Monty... I'm not doing this for money... 
blah, blah, blah and so forth...

..........................................

Rurouni Kenshin Presents -- The Meiji-Era Full Monty!  Part 3
by Sakka-chan and MadamHydra


Kenshin:  <swallows>  Right.  <nods to the musicians>  Let's do it.

<Grinning, the young women began playing something appropriately
sexy, and the men begin their dance.  As they begin unbuttoning their
jackets, the women in the audience loudly cheer them on.>

Fangirl #1:  <whistling sharply>  Go, Aoshi!  Work it, okashira!

Fangirl #2:  <waving a handful of cash>  Soujirou!  How about a lap
dance?

Large group of fangirls toward the back:  <clapping and chanting in
time to the music>  Ken~shin!  Ken~shin!  Ken~shin!

Enishi:  <sweatdrop>  And people say *I'm* scary...

Chou:  <sweatdrop>  No kidding...

Kamatari:  <cheerfully as they continue the dance>  Ah, don't let
them rattle ya, guys... remember, we want them to enjoy the show.
The more they like it, the more yen we make, ne?  <puts a little extra
shake in his step, much to the delight of the audience>

Group next to the stage:  Wai!  Shake it, Kama-chan!

<Kamatari winks and grins at the women, who shriek and clap wildly.>

Chou:  <growls>  Dammit... where does he get off flirting like that?
He doesn't even *like* girls!

<The men finish unbuttoning their jackets and face away from the audience.
Kenshin takes his cap off, his loose hair tumbling down his
shoulders. Some of the audience-members faint, overcome by the
sight. The rest cheer raucously, pounding on tables and stamping
their feet.>

Misao:  <clapping wildly>  Nice move, Himura!

<Kaoru lets forth a long wolf-howl.>

Megumi:  <sweatdrop>  I definitely should've let her win after the
first cup.

Kenshin:  <tossing his hair away from his face and dancing gracefully
toward the edge of the stage>  Kaoru-dono?

Kaoru:  <eyeing his partially bared chest>  Hm?

Kenshin:  <hands her his cap>  Hold this for me, onegai?

<Winking at her, he turns away.  Starry-eyed, Kaoru clutches the
cap to her chest.>

Misao:  <pounding the table delightely>  Ooh... smooth, smooth
Himura!

<The men toss their jackets to the side of the stage, and the
bouncers hold back the throng of women who try to dive after the
garments.>

Maki:  <thoughtfully>  Quite an assortment of scars on that bunch.

Tokio:  Well, considering their histories, is it any wonder?

Asuko:  Hah!  I like a man with a few scars.  Gives him character.

Maki:  <smiling slightly>  Then you must think a great deal of
Himura-san.  <concerned expression>  He's so thin, though!
Doesn't that girl he lives with ever feed him?

Tokio:  <coughs delicately>  Well... she's quite hopeless in the
kitchen, really...

Asuko:  <wicked smile>  My, my, Tokio... your wolf acquits himself
quite well up there with all those youngsters.  I've never been so
happy to lose a bet with you.  <yelling suddenly in her gravelly voice>
Yeah!  Take it off, Hajime!

<Saitou glares in their direction.  Tokio shrugs and smiles
apologetically at him.>

Tokio:  <sighs>  Those texts better be everything you say they are,
Asuko...

<Back onstage, the men are performing some more fancy footwork
while flexing their arm and chest muscles.  More audience-
members pass out, and the crowd roars louder.>

Sanosuke:  <grinning>  Look at 'em... we're driving 'em wild!

Hiko:  <flashes genius smile>  I never doubted I would.

Saitou:  <scowls>  Ahou ga.  If you only knew *how* wild some of
these women are...

Sanosuke:  <perks up>  Really?  Which ones?

Saitou:  <considers for a moment, then shakes his head, smirking
slightly>  Forget it, chicken-head... they'd eat you alive...

Soujirou:  <interrupts with a smile>  Sagara-san, are we ready for the
next act?

Sanosuke:  Uh... oh, right.  Let's go, men!  One... two... three...

<The men rip away their specially designed, easily removable
police-uniform pants and toss them aside with a flourish... leaving
them wearing only their fundoshi.  Nearly every woman in the
audience surges toward the stage, waving yen-notes and
screaming.>

Misao:  <squashed against the stage>  Gaah!  Kaoru-san, help!

<The bouncers arrive, pushing the women back.  Several of the men
exchange grins... even Saitou smirks a little... Aoshi remains
unmoved, of course.  Kenshin has eyes only for Kaoru, who is
dragging Misao up onto their table.  They both start dancing in time
with the men, wobbling slightly.  Megumi stays seated, her head in
her her hands.>

Kenshin:  <dancing toward the edge of the stage>  Kaoru-dono... be
careful!  You'll hurt yourself!

Kaoru:  <blowing him kisses>  Stop worrying about me and dance,
you sexy rurouni, you!

Misao:  <laughing>  Look, he's blushing, Kaoru-san!  <yells>
C'mon, Himura... shake it!

Megumi:  <head still in hands>  I do *not* know these two...

Sanosuke:  Get back here, Kenshin!  Okay, you guys... it's nearly 
solo-dance time.  Kamatari's first... eh... Kamatari?

<The men look around as they continue dancing... but Kamatari has 
vanished from the stage.>

Sanosuke:  <shaking his head>  Che... must've chickened out.  Ah, 
well... Soujirou, why don't you start, then?

Soujirou:  <cheerfully>  Hai!

<The bouncers do their best to contain the audience as the men take 
turns dancing their way down the front of the stage, receiving tips as 
they do their bump-and-grind.  As Soujirou works his way down the 
line, however, things get quickly out of control.>

Fangirl #3:  Sou-chan!  Kawaii!

Fangirl #2:  Get away from him, wench!  He's mine!

Fangirl #3:  Says you!

<The two begin pulling each other's hair and clawing each other's 
eyes out.>

Soujirou:  <smiling and waving his hands>  Ano... please don't fight, 
ladies...

<Two bouncers cart the feuding fangirls off... and a pack of drooling 
Soujirou fans quickly take advantage of the security lapse. They start 
climbing onto the stage, waving yen-notes... and a few are waving 
discarded articles of clothing as well.>

Fangirl-mob:  Soujiiiiiirou!  Dance for us, onegaiiiii?

Soujirou:  <sweatdrop>  Uh, oh...  

<Suddenly, the mob is pushed offstage by a half-dozen lovely, well-
dressed young women with light-brown eyes.  They smile wickedly, 
their eyes gleaming ferally.>

Nightwitch #1:  Seta Soujirou...

Nightwitch #2:  Known as the Tenken...

Nightwitch #3:  Possessor of god-speed...

Nightwitch #4:  We'd be much obliged...

Nightwitch #5:  If you would favor us...

Nightwitch #6:  With a night of your company...

Nightwitches:  <together in seductive voices>  You won't regret it... 
we promise you...

Soujirou:  <panicking>  Eeto... gomen nasai, but I think my time is up, 
ladies...  Ja!

<He uses his god-speed and vanishes offstage, the Nightwitches hot 
at his heels.>

Sanosuke:  <yells>  Soujirou!  <mutters>  Geez, that's two down.  Oh, 
well...  <out loud>  Guess it's your turn now, psycho-boy.  Try not to 
hurt anyone, okay?

Enishi:  <eyes the audience warily>  What if they hurt me first?

Sanosuke:  <martyred sigh>  They're *girls*, for crying out loud.  Just 
dance, Yukishiro...

<Enishi tentatively makes his way to the front of the stage.  Just as he 
starts dancing, a bunch of fangirls waving "Enishi Fan Club" signs 
makes their way to the front.>

Fangirl #5:  <shrieks>  Eni-chan!  Dai suki!

Fangirl #6:  <coos>  C'mere, you gorgeous psychopath you...

<The girls evade the bodyguards and pounce on Enishi.  He attempts 
to free himself, but they attach themselves to his legs.>

Enishi:  <yelps>  Help!  Let go!  Nee-san... what should I do?

<He sees a vision of Tomoe.  She's smiling serenly... and he sees her 
mouth moving.>

Enishi:  What... what are you saying to me, nee-san?

Tomoe:  <whispers>  ...lucky, otouto-chan...

Enishi:  <incredulous>  Nani?!?

Tomoe:  <grins>  You're about to get lucky, otouto-chan.  Don't waste 
the opportunity...  <her image dissolves>

Enishi:  <eyes wide, blushing profusely>  You're kidding, right?  NEE-
SAN!

<The last thing he sees is Tomoe winking at him.  Enishi looks down 
at the nubile young fangirls attached to his legs... and promptly passes 
out with a nosebleed.  The two fangirls look at each other, shrug, and 
drag the unconscious Psycho from Shanghai offstage, closely 
pursued by the Enishi Fan Club.>

Misao:  <shrieking with laughter>  That's what I call Jinchuu!  Ne, 
Kaoru-san?

Sanosuke:  <staring uneasily at the raucous crowd>  Maybe these 
women are more dangerous than I thought.  You ready, Saitou?

Saitou:  <growls>  Ahou.  I'm not doing the solo dance, remember?  
It's in my agreement...

Sanosuke:  <shrugs>  Suit yourself... more yen for the rest of us, 
then.  Oi, broom-head, that makes you next.

Chou:  <cocky grin>  Leave it to me!  <He begins a flamboyant 
dance, to much applause and tipping, only to be interrupted halfway 
down the stage by three attractive young Nightwitches.>

Chou:  <wide smile>  What can I do for you lovely young ladies? 
A private dance, maybe?

<The Nightwitches grin evilly at each other, then fix a predatory stare 
on Chou.>

Nightwitches:  <in unison>  Show us your sword, big boy!

Chou:  <looking pole-axed>  Eh?

Nightwitch #1:  <flirtatiously>  Don't be shy... show us...

Nightwitch #2:  <coy smile> We heard it was *enormous*...

Nightwitch #3:  He told us so...

<The three women point at a grinning, kimono-clad Kamatari.  He 
waves a yen-note at Chou.>

Kamatari:  C'mon, Chou-kun... dance for us!

Chou:  <red with fury>  l'll get you for this, you damned freak!  
C'mere...

<He starts toward Kamatari, but the Nightwitches block his path.  
One attempts to peek inside his fundoshi while the other two hold 
onto his legs.>

Chou:  <sputtering>  Hey!  Get offa me!  Bouncers!

<Strangely enough, the bouncers seem to be ignoring the 
Nightwitches.  In desperation, Chou breaks away and bolts, the 
Nightwitches close behind him.  Kamatari doubles over with 
laughter.>

Kaoru:  <laughing hysterically>  You're right, Misao-chan... this *is* 
fun!

Misao:  <clutching Kaoru's arm>   Ooh, it's Aoshi-sama's turn!  I'm 
going up!


-- On to Part 4... the grand finale! --



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