Dan's LIAC -- Part 1:  The Consent Form

Dan enters the Registration Office of the LIAC Bureau, and makes a beeline for the shortest queue.  After a few minutes of waiting and fidgeting, he reaches the head of the line and comes face-to-face with a helpful-seeming clerk.
Clerk:  Good afternoon, sir, how can I help you?

Dan:  I'd like to request Yukishiro Tomoe, of Rurouni Kenshin, for my LIAC, please.

Clerk:  Yukishiro Tomoe?

Dan:  Yes.

Clerk:  Of Rurouni Kenshin?

Dan:  That's what I said.

The clerk pulls out a book entitled The Encyclopedia of Anime and Manga Characters and flips briskly through it.
Clerk:  Hmmmm.... it says here that Revenge hasn't been animated yet.  Technically, she's not an anime character.

Dan:  She's appeared in the closing credits of the TV series.  Therefore, she's animated.  The animation is Japanese.  Therefore, she's an anime character.

Clerk:  Hmmmmm.  Are you sure you want Tomoe?  Misao's back from her 1 day rental... how about her?

Dan:  Did I ask for the weasel girl?  I said Tomoe, and that's who I want.  Thanks.

Clerk:  You're sure?

Dan:  Yes.

Clerk:  Absolutely positive?

Dan:  YES!

Clerk:  All right, you don't have to get huffy!  Please fill out this registration form.

Dan takes the required form, and proceeds to fill it out.  After a few minutes he pauses, and then turns to the clerk.
Dan:  Hey... why do you need to know if I have a.... (checks form) significant other?

Clerk:  Oh... that's just a minor technicality.  Required background information.  We need to know what kind of atmosphere your LIAC will be entering.

Dan eyes the clerk suspiciously, but completes the rest of the form and hands it back.  The clerk scans it, and then smiles brightly at Dan.
Clerk:  Thank you very much!  Now, since you have a significant other, there's one more form that has to be completed before you can take your LIAC home.

Dan:  All right.  Let's have it.

Clerk:  One moment.

The clerk ducks down behind the counter for a moment, and then reappears with a stack of paper about an inch and a half thick.  Dan goggles.
Clerk:  Here you go sir.

Dan:  What the heck is that?!

He turns the stack around and reads the top sheet.
Dan (reading aloud):  Live-in-Anime-Character Consent Form.   I don't get it... Tae didn't say anything about signing a consent form.

Clerk:  You didn't read the subtitle.

Dan (checking the document and again reading aloud):  Special Case:  Yukishiro Tomoe.  To be signed by... applicant's significant other?!

Clerk:  That's right.

Dan:  Why?  For heaven's sake, why?

Clerk (a little taken aback by Dan's vehemence):  Well, the Bureau received a petition from an anime club stating that nobody should be able to bring that... hold on a moment...

The clerk pulls out a folder, flips through the enclosed documents, and then continues, reading aloud.
Clerk:  ...."cold-blooded, emotionless, wimpy but well-drawn twit" home without written consent of his significant other.  They said that (refers to the document again) "If we have to put up with the ice-queen hanging around, he's darn well going to earn the privilege!"  This particular club seems to be gaining quite a following, especially among our female customers, so we agreed to the consent form.
Dan stands dumbfounded, staring at the clerk.
Clerk:  Sir?  Um.... sir?  Are you going to take the form home?

Dan (voice icy):  What.  Is the name.  Of this club?

Clerk:  I-I-I (takes a deep breath, beginning to be a little afraid of Dan)  I'm afraid I can't tell you that.  It's confidential.

Dan (not really paying attention, flipping through the consent form):  Why is every fifth question in here the same thing?  "Whom do you love most, Tomoe or your Significant Other?"  What kind of question is that?

Clerk:  What's the answer?

Dan:  That's... hey!  That's none of your business!

The clerk just smirks at Dan in response, which aggravates him further.
Dan:  This is ridiculous!  I'm not going to get Hikaru to sign this!

Clerk:  Fine by me.  Would you like a different LIAC?

Dan:  NO!  I want Tomoe.

Clerk:  Then... Hikaru, was it?  will have to sign the form.

Dan:  I can't believe this!  I want to talk to your manager.

Clerk (getting annoyed in turn):  Now LOOK HERE!  I tried to talk you out of it, but NOOOO, you had to have Tomoe!  It's not my fault she's a pain in the butt!   But rules are rules.  If you want to take her home, you have to get the consent form signed.  And don't forget the corroborating thumb print, either!  Now are you going to take this form and get out of my hair?  Or do I have to get Saitoh over there to show you out?

Dan looks uneasily at Saitoh, and then makes one more attempt to avoid the consent form.
Dan:  But....

Clerk:  NO BUTS!  There are already three other guys busy trying to get the consent form signed.  I certainly can't let you weasel out of it.  (Slyly)  You better hurry.  One of the others has already had the form for a week.  His significant other should be softening up by now.

Dan nods weakly in reply, shocked to hear he's behind by a week.  As he turns away, consent form in hand, he whimpers faintly....
Dan:  Hikaru... PLEASE sign the form.  PLEASE!