E-mail Support Group

Kenshin prowls stealthily through the house, puzzled by a suspicious humming noise coming from the computer room.  He pauses outside the door for a moment, ready to burst in if something's wrong, when suddenly the humming noise becomes recognizable as words.
Tae:  Ooooooo--Kenshin - don't - you - dare - break - down - the - door - when - there's - a - perfectly - good - doorknob - available--mmmmmmmm.
He blinks in surprise.
Kenshin:  How does she do that?

Voice from inside room:  Oooooooo--Sano - that - goes - double - for - you!--mmmmmmmmmm.

Kenshin:  Oro?!

He looks around to find Sano standing next to him, fists at the ready.  Sano shrugs as if to say "heck, don't ask me how I got here".  Kenshin sighs, and then opens the door.

In the center of the room, in Yoga positions, sit Tae and Neka.  The source of the humming noise is immediately apparent.

Tae & Neka:   Ooooooommmmmmmmmm.  Ooooooommmmmmmmmm.

Kenshin (thinking to himself):  I didn't know Tae-dono could do that.

Sano (aloud):  Oi, Neka-chan, when'd you learn to do that?

Kenshin:  Oro?!

Tae & Neka:  Shhhhhhhhhh!  We're concentrating!!

Sano (ignoring the reprimand):  Concentrating?  On what?!

Neka:  On being calm.

Tae:  On not throttling the life out of someone.

Neka:  Tae!!

Tae (sheepishly):  Ooops.  Gomen!

Tamahome (appearing in the doorway):  Oi.... what's going on?  (Spots Neka)  Konbanwa, Neka-chan.

Tasuki (from the hallway):  Nani?  Neka-chan came to visit?  (His head appears over Tamahome's shoulder)  Irrashai, Neka-chan!!

Neka (sighing, concentration obviously broken):  Konbanwa, Tamahome-kun.  Arigato, Tasuki.

Kenshin:  Ano.... what were you two doing?

Tae (attempting to untie the knot she's made of her legs):  We're holding an e-mail support group session.

Kenshin:  Oro?  Nani?

Neka:  An e-mail support group session.  The idea is to help each other calm down after receiving annoying, nasty, or argumentative e-mail.

Tasuki (for once being the clever one):  So who got nasty mail?

Tae looks at Neka.  Neka looks at Tae.  Both look sheepishly at Kenshin, Tamahome, Tasuki and Sano.
Tae:  Well, actually....

Neka:  To be honest...

Sano:  You both did, didn't you?

Tae & Neka:  Hai.

Neka:  Oooooo!  The message I got just makes me soooo angry!  It was so insulting!

Tae:  Honto!  Mine, too!

Tamahome:  I can see you're both being very calm and supportive.

Sano:  Well, supportive, anyway.

Tae:  Hey!!  No wise cracks from the peanut gallery!

Neka:  Yeah, Sano.  You're supposed to be my LIAC, doesn't that mean you have to stick up for me?!

Tae:  Ummm... yes and no.  Yes, he has to stick up for you, but that doesn't mean he can't make fun of you.

Neka:  Mou!!  I don't like that rule at all!

Tae:  It's not one of my favorites, either.

Kenshin has been quiet throughout, but now interrupts, his voice dangerously soft.
Kenshin:  Tae-dono, Neka-dono... who sent you the e-mail?

Neka:  Well, mine came from <mmmff!> (she's cut off as Tae puts a hand over her mouth).

Tae (recognizing the warning signs):  Now don't you start that!!  We don't need you to hitokiri anyone!

Tasuki (reading from the computer screen):  It says here it came from <urk!>

Tamahome (calmly throttling Tasuki):  She said she didn't want him to hitokiri anyone!  Baka!

Sano (cracking his knuckles):  Neka-chan... are you sure?

Neka:  Well....

Tae:  Neka!!

Neka:  I'm joking, I'm joking!!  Yes, Sano, I'm sure.  You know what... I'm actually feeling better about the whole thing!  Wonder why....

Tae:  LIAC.  It's the LIAC.  It really helps to imagine them beating the stuffing out of anyone who annoys you.

Neka ponders this for a moment and then bursts out laughing.
Neka:  Honto!!  Not many people could deal with Sano appearing out of the blue and pounding them, ne?

Tae:  Nope.  Kenshin wouldn't be too easy to cope with either.  (She sighs).  Well, I guess that concludes out support group meeting.

Neka:  Hai.  (To the LIAC)  You guys want to come next time, too?

Suddenly Tamahome, Tasuki, Sano and Kenshin seem to be in a rush to leave.
Kenshin:  Well, since everything's all right....

Tamahome:  Ummm.... I've got to go... write Miaka!

Tasuki:  I really need to polish my fan...

Sano:  Isn't it time to eat?

Neka (running after the fast retreating Sano):  Oi!!! You can't leave yet!  You have to walk me home!!

Tae (now standing in an empty room):  Polish my fan?  Lame, Tasuki, really lame...