From: "Sekihara Tae" And here's the second half of the second half. Also known as "the end". ^^; -Tae Taken With the Notion Part II (B) ----------------------------------------- "Misao-dono? Have you seen Kaoru?" Misao looked up from feeding a rosy-cheeked and cheerful Kiriko to see Kenshin standing in the doorway wearing a worried expression. "She was giving Kiriko her bath this morning when I left to check on our tickets, but nobody seems to know where she is now." Misao smiled, marveling again at how Kenshin and Kaoru could spend so much time worrying about each other -- as if neither could fend for his or herself. "Daijoubu--" "'kaachan said she had to go see someone, 'touchan!" Kiriko interrupted, trying to speak while keeping her mouth open in anticipation of the next bite. "Kiriko and Misao-neechan are s'posed to tell you she'll meet us at the train station." Her message delivered, she stretched her jaw open as wide as it would go, looking more like a hungry little bird than a hungry little girl. "Not so wide, Kiriko-chan!" Misao laughed, deftly slipping the next mouthful of rice between the little girl's lips, "I promise I won't miss!" Turning back to Kenshin she nodded confirmation of Kiriko's message. "Kaoru said her errand wouldn't take too long, and for you not to worry." The smile he returned wasn't convincing in the slightest: anyone could see worrying was precisely what he was doing. "Himura . . ." Shaking his head he stepped into the room, kneeling beside her to take over breakfast duty. "It's all right Misao-dono. I suspect I know where she is." "But you shouldn't let it upset you!" He sighed a little at that -- softly, sadly. "It only upsets me because it makes her unhappy." "'Touchan? Is 'kaachan sad?" Violet eyes so very like his own looked up at him, the little face mirroring his expression. For an instant he considered the easy answer, but truth always suited them better. "Aa. Sessha thinks so." Her little brows drew together in worried confusion for a moment, then lifted as she smiled at him. "'Touchan fix it," she stated with certainty. Kenshin's shoulders slumped a little as he reached out to ruffle her hair. "I wish I could, koneko . . . I wish I could." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ||What do I say?|| Kaoru knelt, her hands pressed gently together palm-to-palm, her head bent in a respectful, prayerful pose. ||Now that I'm here . . . what do I say?|| Her thoughts seemed to jump and scatter, nervous and skittish as frightened birds, and nothing that occurred to her seemed appropriate. ||Why then, did I come? What was so pressing that I should make him worry?|| For he would be worrying, his violet eyes shadowed with sorrow and misplaced guilt. It wasn't his fault -- there was no blame in the fact that he had loved before when she had not; Kenshin had said his goodbyes . . . her own insecurity was the problem. "She has no right to judge you." The deep masculine voice was familiar, even if its gentle tone was not. Raising her head, Kaoru found Hiko watching her with a steady and unexpectedly sympathetic gaze. Embarrassed, her temper sparked at his intrusion. "Whatever I have to say to Tomoe-san is nothing that should concern you, Hiko-san." Closing her eyes, she made an effort to appear calm. "I'm not worried about being judged." Conscience pricked as the words passed her lips. ||I am, I am . . .|| A low chuckle accompanied the sound of footsteps moving closer. "Aa, and my baka deshi isn't the father of your child." Kaoru bit her lip, frustrated that she was so easily read, and wary of saying anything that would give away more of her thoughts. "If you weren't seeking acceptance of some sort, you wouldn't be here." A handful of heartbeats passed in silence, during which Kaoru could feel him assessing her in that slow, insolent way he had; braced for his mockery, she was all the more unprepared for the understanding in his voice when next he spoke. "Kenshin doesn't seem to find you lacking, jou-chan. Why should you?" "Datte-!" the plaintive exclamation was startled from her, unthinking and needy. Whatever else she might have said was bitten back fiercely as she glared up at him, daring him to respond to her reflexive protest. He stared calmly back, the tense stillness broken only by the soft sound of a breeze tugging at his cloak. "Datte . . ." she repeated, dropping her gaze from his as her hair blew across her face, hiding her strained features and flushed cheeks from sight, "datte, Tomoe-san was so . . . *traditional*." Spreading her hands in front of her in an a gesture intended to encompass all her short-comings, Kaoru put as much meaning as she could into the one word explanation. The other woman had been trained and refined and readied for marriage; taught how to cook and how to manage the household -- even what to expect and how to react in the marriage bed. Kaoru had been raised without a mother's guidance, without benefit of the gentler arts, and her abilities fell far short of what was expected from a Japanese wife. She couldn't manage to produce a meal even with Misao's expert help! Did she disappoint her rurouni? Kenshin never complained, but his kindness would never have permitted him to willingly hurt her feelings. In the absence of any other scale, Tomoe had become the standard against which she measured herself, her memory seeming to watch Kaoru as disapprovingly as the most hostile of in-laws. Hiko snorted, conveying a wealth of censure with the small sound. "I know of no tradition which expects a wife to judge her husband's every move and motive, nor one which directs her to discover weaknesses to exploit, opportunities to betray his trust." The words were stark and uncompromising, bitterly blunt. "She came to him with no thought but to harm a young man whose heart was too generous and forgiving to see how he was being used and misled. When he was teetering on the edge of madness, torn between the horror of his actions and the purity of his goal, she would have pushed him over more willingly than hold him back." His dark gaze gentled as he focused on Kaoru's startled expression. "When one has never had the warmth of reality, even the pretense of family and its commonplace patterns will be comforting and welcome. Shikashi, yours is a far more *traditional* marriage than theirs ever pretended to be, despite how her heart might have warmed in the time they were together." He nodded at the gravestone with its fresh offering of flowers, "If that one had any right to judge how you care for him, she'd be forced to admit you're more what he needs than she could ever have been." ||Generous and forgiving, possessing a gentleness inside that was a match for Kenshin's own, and the warmth to express it freely.|| The young woman stared back at him -- blue eyes big as teacups -- and his anger dissipated as quickly as it had come, replaced by a chiding amusement. "Naze? Did you think I knew so little of my baka deshi's life after he left to join the Ishinshishi?" His smile was wry, his dark eyes sad as he shook his head, "I know more than Kenshin guesses; if the Hitokiri Battousai were truly the monster he sometimes imagines, the rurouni would not have survived to meet you in Tokyo." Kaoru blinked, surprised more by this confession than by Hiko's opinion of Tomoe. She'd long suspected that Kenshin painted himself with a brush more stained than his actions deserved, the color driven by his conscience rather than actual truth. ||Demo . . .|| Her brows drew together as she considered the disparity between Hiko's depiction and her own conceived image of Kenshin's former life. Though his shishou's words were far more blunt than those Kenshin himself had used, the relationship he described was not so very different from the one her rurouni had hinted at and glossed over, saying only that he'd learned what happiness was during their time together. ||The same kindness that protects my feelings . . . wouldn't he seek to protect Tomoe-san's memory, too?|| She'd taken Kenshin's reassurances lightly, thinking them simply sweet words containing little truth -- and loving him all the more for it -- without ever realizing that the same could be true when he spoke of Tomoe. ||Perhaps . . . perhaps it would be all right to believe . . .|| "Jou-chan, I had hoped my deshi's woman would prove somewhat smarter than he . . . don't dash my hopes now." Kaoru blinked again, shaken from her musings by Hiko's jovially sarcastic comment. "Anyone with a bit of sense can see it doesn't matter to him whether or not you can cook, or if you make a mess of the tea ceremony, or if you have no idea what to do with a fan." She nodded, even as her face clouded again. "Demo . . ." it was almost a whisper, "*I* care." Because Tomoe had known, and a wife should know . . . but mostly because she wanted to see the look on Kenshin's face when she managed it. Exhaling a long, exasperated sigh that might have fooled her before she'd seen him with Kiriko, Hiko offered her his hand to help her to her feet. "Then learn. Kenshin's miso was the most caustic thing I'd ever eaten in my life . . . until I tried his kinpira." Her skeptical expression prompted another of his deep-voiced laughs. "I'm not lying, jou-chan. If he could learn to cook for a critic like me, surely you can manage it for a critic like him." Kaoru wrinkled her nose at his teasing, briefly contemplated mentioning Yahiko, then decided that agreeing with the one person who had ever encouraged her to try was probably a wise move. "Arigatou." Broad shoulders shrugged off her thanks as he gently reminded her of her reason for being there, "Have you said what you came to say?" "Iie . . . but I didn't really know what I wanted to tell her until now." She looked down at Tomoe's marker again as he moved away, finding that she could smile this time. ||I promise . . .|| The vow was wordless, crafted more of emotion than thought. Everything in her heart would have to be enough. "If you don't hurry you'll miss your train!" Hiko called, his impatience feigned if his concern was not. "Hai! I'm coming!" Her geta pattered a clacking rhythm on the road as she hurried to join him at the edge of the cemetery. "Ne, Hiko-san," she commented, following a few steps behind him as he escorted her to the train station, "Kenshin told me you hardly ever come into Kyoto proper. Did you come just to see us off?" She was delighted when the question seemed to prompt a spate of embarrassed fidgeting on his part, even though his answer was typical of his accustomed confidence. "Give up my morning to wave at the lot of you as you board one of those noisy monstrosities? Hardly!" "Mmm." Blue eyes glistening with humor, she nodded sagely. "I thought not. You just came for Kiriko-chan, ne?" Caught by surprise and without one of his snappy responses, Hiko opened and closed his mouth a few times in amazement. "No," he began as she watched him with an air of innocent curiosity, "I came to buy--" "No?" Raising her eyebrows in feigned surprise, Kaoru looked him up and down as if searching for something. "Hiko-san," she scolded, "don't tell me you forgot to bring her a present!" Hazel eyes slid guiltily toward the netsuke on his belt -- from which hung a small, brightly hued box -- then narrowed suspiciously as she giggled. "'kaaaaaachaaaaan!" "Matte, Kiriko-chan!" Laughing delightedly as her oniichan pelted after her, Kiriko all but knocked Kaoru off her feet as she latched onto her mother from behind, little arms wrapping tightly around her legs in an exuberant hug. "Told you it was 'kaachan!" she crowed as Yahiko jogged to a halt beside them. "Aa," the tall youth agreed, resting his hands on his knees and bending down to her level, "shikashi, what if it hadn't been?" She leaned toward him, too, still clinging tightly to her mother's kimono. "But it was." He crouched down a little further, brows lowered in an attempt to look serious. "But what if it *wasn't*?" "But it *was*!" Kiriko stretched up on her tiptoes, bringing herself nose to nose with him. "It really and truly *was*!" "Give it up, Yahiko," Kaoru laughed, "she's too little to understand worrying over what might have been." He grunted in reply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Poor protective oniichan," she commiserated teasingly as Kiriko finally let her go, running over to bestow a similarly energetic greeting on Hiko. Yahiko rolled his eyes at her in response, wisely deciding to hold his tongue; after bickering with Misao for almost three days straight, he'd had his fill of women who could outsmart him. "'kaachaaaaan! Hiko-jiichan says to tell 'touchan to hurry or we'll miss the train!" Perched on her ojiichan's shoulders, Kiriko delivered this dire prediction in a worried voice. Kenshin hadn't joined in the mad dash down the road, his sandals beating a much slower rhythm against the packed dirt of the road as he approached, and the little girl obviously believed the slight delay was cause for concern. "Daijoubu, koneko," he reassured her, his eyes carefully assessing Kaoru as she looped her arm through his in wordless welcome, "we have plenty of time." "Honto?" "Aa." Kiriko smiled, satisfied that her father knew best. "'Touchan says we have time," she told Hiko in a loud whisper, leaning down to make sure he heard her. "Arigatou, chibi," he responded, winking at Kaoru, "What would I do without you to tell me these things?" Kenshin's prediction proved correct, their little group arriving at the train station with ample time to spare. Hiko was the only one there to see them off, his large frame winning them room to breathe among the jostling crowd. Never comfortable with drawn out goodbyes, Kaoru had said her farewells before leaving the Aoiya that morning, Kenshin and the others following suit -- Misao and Okina could be quite emotional when people they loved had plans to leave, even if it was only a temporary parting. Subject to some of that same discomfort, Yahiko volunteered to find their seats when it came time to board, bolting up the stairs and out of sight almost before the conductor had finished giving the okay. "Time to say goodbye, koneko," Kenshin told her, reaching up to take Kiriko from his master's shoulders. "Nooooo!" she protested, grasping a handful of Hiko's hair and holding on, "Hiko-jiichan daisuki!" She tugged fiercely on the long black strands she held as Kenshin plucked her from her perch, reluctantly letting go when it became apparent her tactic wasn't going to work. Hiko bore the pulling stoically, pretending not to wince in pain. The tiny girl's chin trembled as her father set her back on her feet, her bottom lip poking out in a pitiful little pout. "Sayonara," she mumbled when prompted, her expression mutinous and disappointed. Hiko chuckled slightly, kneeling down as he pulled the brightly-hued box Kaoru had noticed before from it's place on his belt. "Maa maa, chibi . . . with that face you're making, I don't know if you deserve this." He shook the box gently, producing a familiar-sounding rattle. "Kaichin?" Kiriko asked, her pout fading at the prospect of presents. Maybe goodbyes weren't so bad after all. "Come open it and see." Another shake produced another rattle, coaxing her closer. "Daijoubu?" At his nod she reached out gingerly, holding her breath as she removed the paper lid. Inside was a selection of tiny sweets, fashioned in a variety of shapes. The little seagulls even had sesame seeds for eyes! "What are they?" she asked, whispering as if fearful the dainty things would break if she spoke too loudly. "Kaichin wagashi," her mother answered, bending down to peek in the box still cupped in Hiko's hands. "Jellies. They're only made in the Spring." Wide eyed and hopeful, Kiriko looked at Hiko. "Can Kiriko try one?" Tender emotion flickered briefly across his features. "Aa." After careful consideration she selected a plum blossom, bouncing up and down in delight as its sweetness melted on her tongue. "Oishii!" she cried, throwing her arms around Hiko's neck she hugged him for all she was worth, "Arigatou, Hiko-jiichan!!" His dark eyes softened as he hesitantly embraced her in return, holding her carefully, the way men who have no experience with children often do. "That's enough now, Kiriko-chan," Kaoru told them as the conductor shouted again for passengers to board the train. She helped the fumbling little fingers to put the lid back on the box of kaichin, reflecting ruefully that a fondness for puddles might be preferable to a new penchant for making noise. "We're going to have a terrible time persuading her not to shake that box," she groaned reproachfully as Kiriko ran to show her new treasure to Kenshin. "Giving her presents that you hate for her to have is part of an ojiichan's job," Hiko retorted, grinning. "Or didn't you know?" Heaving an exasperated sigh she briefly considered lecturing him on his attitude, then conceded -- at least to herself -- that it would be a waste of time and energy. She settled for a good strong yank on the hair Kiriko had already tried to remove, and a one-word warning: "Behave". His scalp was still smarting when she stepped in close to embraced him warmly, whispering both a goodbye and a thank you before letting him go. "Don't be too long," she warned Kenshin, taking Kiriko's hand in hers, "we'll be waiting." Both men watched as mother and daughter boarded the train, Hiko chuckling softly when Kiriko stopped at the top of the stairs to wave goodbye one last time. "You're luckier than you deserve to be, baka deshi." The younger man nodded agreement almost impatiently, needing to know that Kaoru was as content as she seemed far more than he needed simple truths explained to him. "Shishou, Kaoru--" "I like her," there was a note of respect in Hiko's voice that Kenshin had heard before on very few occasions, "I have since the moment I learned she'd followed you here all the way from Tokyo." He glanced sidelong at his student, "I taught you the ougi for her sake at least as much as your own." Although Kenshin had never considered it before, it wasn't hard to believe: Hiko had been adamant in his refusal until Kaoru had appeared in his doorway. "You needed her, yet had convinced yourself that you couldn't have her as long as there was a chance the Battousai would awaken." There would always be that chance, and Hiko spared a moment's thought to wonder if Kenshin knew it. "She was the reason you'd come back . . . and after realizing that, I couldn't send you away empty-handed." The older man's gaze suddenly sharpened, focusing on the younger man's face and glowering for all the world like a protective father. "Take care of her. Take care of them both." It was the closest he would ever come to telling Kenshin to take care of himself. "Aa . . . shikashi, is she-" Hiko interrupted with a swift shake of his head. "She's fine . . . she just needed someone to tell her so. It's hard living in a memory's shadow. A woman like that deserves to be first." Kenshin blinked, confused despite himself. "She is." ||First in his heart, first in his thoughts.|| "Then make sure she knows it," his shishou answered, his voice losing its patient tone. Grimacing in near pain at his former student's lack of insight, Hiko gestured at the waiting train. "Hurry up before they come looking for you." The departure whistle sounded even as he spoke, a shrill, sharp warning before the train began to move. Sighing as he realized Hiko had been as forthcoming as he intended to be, and that he had no more time to pry, Kenshin said the only thing there was left to say: "Be well, shishou." Watching as the slender, flame-haired figure darted through the thinning crowd and up the few short steps, Hiko quietly returned the favor. "Be well, Kenshin." He'd already turned to leave when the piping voice cried his name, calling him back. "Hiko-jiichaaaaan!" A moment's odd panic gave way to a rush of amused relief as he spotted Kiriko waving from the train. "Hiko-jiichan! 'Kaachan says to tell you that fall is the best time to visit, and that if you come in October . . ." her little face scrunched in thought, obviously trying to remember what Kaoru had told her. Another cheerful face appeared in the window for a moment, and Kiriko's expression relaxed enough to show her dimples as her mother whispered the part she'd forgotten. "If you come in October, she's fairly safe with rice!" Shaking his head at the two of them, laughing a little, he waved them off, feeling only a little foolish when he realized what he was doing. ||Smitten with a two-year old and her mother.|| Well . . . at least he could understand the little one, and her mother was quite definitely his deshi's problem. ||Hiko-ojiichan.|| If pressed, he'd have been forced to admit he was quite taken with it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Index of Japanese terms: 1.. aa -- yes 2.. baka -- stupid 3.. chibi -- little; little one 4.. datte -- but; because 5.. deshi -- pupil 6.. doushite -- why 7.. honto -- really 8.. iie -- no 9.. kawaisou ni -- poor thing 10.. kawaisou na giant-san -- unfortunate giant 11.. kinpira -- finely chopped cooked vegetable (typically burdock) 12.. koneko -- kitten 13.. maa, maa -- now, now 14.. naze -- what 15.. (o)jiichan -- grandfather 16.. (o)kaachan -- mommy 17.. (o)touchan -- daddy 18.. sessha -- this unworthy one 19.. shikashi -- but, however 20.. shishou -- master 21.. shishuu -- embroidery 22.. tanuki -- raccoon dog 23.. wagashi -- Japanese-style sweets Author's notes, questions, comments, and random babbling 1.. The title comes from the song Baby, Baby by Amy Grant, inspired by her daughter's baby face. The line referenced is: "Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion to love you with the sweetest of devotion." Sappy? Overly so? 2.. Kiriko calls herself "Kiriko". It's my understanding that this is a common mode of speaking for young children in Japan. It's also normal for children to mis-hear words and to mispronounce things. In this story, Kiriko has a habit of dropping the "o" on words -- okaasan, otouchan, oniichan -- which she has grown out of in Strengths. 3.. Hiko's welts and bulges . . . Hiko has muscles on top of muscles. I've always thought that body builders eventually reach a point where their musculature is no longer attractive, or impressive. I've transferred some of this to Kiriko; she's never seen anyone with that many muscles, and has mistaken them for something else. 4.. Kaichin are small colored glass discs that are a traditional toy of little girls in Japan. The sweets of the same name are jellies (like glass discs) and are a traditional sweet for the Doll Festival. The tiny confections are made in the shapes of plum blossoms, spring leaves, white seagulls, light purple flowers, and gourds. The candies come neatly packed in a little paper box which, if you shake it, rattles with a sound reminiscent of children playing with kaichin -- which is why Kiriko recognized the sound, but not the candies themselves. 5.. Thanks to Ardith for telling me about netsuke. Men used a sort of removable pocket to store their personal items; this "pocket" consisted of a sagemono -- essentially a pouch or box or other such container -- suspended on a silken cord from their belt or obi. A netsuke was the toggle used to keep the cord from slipping, and was often fashioned in the shape of animals, or decorated with elaborate carving. Initially, I thought Hiko could store the kaichin in his sagemono . . . but then I thought that there was no reason why he couldn't suspend the kaichin (assuming he could tie a cord around it) from the netsuke as well. 6.. October and rice: I wanted something seasonal yet simple that Kaoru could offer to cook. October is the harvest season, and rice is offered to the gods. 7.. How does Hiko know about Tomoe? I don't really know, but I got the definite impression from the scene in the cemetery at the end of the Kyoto arc that he did. Some of the things he said to Kenshin right after his baka deshi managed the ougi imply that, too. 8.. For anyone interested in time lines: Misao's birthday is in November. When she's first introduced -- in the spring/summer -- she says that she's sixteen. I don't expect Kenshin to mess around for too much longer once Revenge is finished, so I'd place Kenshin & Kaoru's wedding sometime between November-February -- Misao would be seventeen. I'd hate to have Kaoru become "in the family way" immediately . . . so Kiriko's birthday is the following January. That gives the happy couple a few months before they need to start family planning. It also means that if Misao is twenty, Kiriko is two. This story is taking place in late spring, so she's actually closer to two and a half. 9.. In Risu-chan's All That Matters, Kenshin mentions that he could almost thank Hiko for teaching him how to read and sense chi. The flashbacks/memories of Kaoru's pregnancy are references to her fanfic as well. Similarly, Hiko's obi joke is explained in Lessons. 10.. Thanks to Kathy, Tatsuko, Jackie, Neka, and Risu-chan for prereading through various stages of completion. Sekihara Tae tae@sekihara.dreamhost.com Teaser: July 19, 1999 Revised: August 29, 1999 Completed January 11, 2000 --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Get great offers on top-notch products that match your interests! Sign up for eLerts at: Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------------------