From: Tin Mandigma Hello! ^_^ Rissa, I'm here! Barely alive and kickin', though, but what the heck, I can still write ^^;; Anyway, I'm sorry if I haven't responded to anyone for the past week. My apologies extend especially to Ashley (I've only gotten hold of your mail today -_-;;), Tae-san (I've only begun reading "Someone to Watch Over Me" ^__^;) and most of all, to Kaoru-sensei (will you ever forgive me?) She and I made a deal regarding OLH and "The Tempering" and I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver. This is the first time I've been in extended contact with an online computer after being stuck for ages in Internet-less land. Our dorm ain't online, the school's hooked computers run slower than a tortoise with blistered feet and my professors, heaven have mercy on them, gave reading assignments left and right like there was no tomorrow. I currently have two research proposals pending, five books to read, reviews to prepare and...and...darn it, I'm whining. 'Niways, I did manage to complete this piece ^_^ I really wanted to post this first before I complete the series ^^;; Actually, I have a couple of other vignettes at hand but I'm afraid to post them since it would also mean delaying the ending of the 'fic ^^;;; What do you guys think? Kaoru-sensei, your word is gold this time ^_^ Well, here's the story. I honestly have no idea when I'll post the final half of Part 12 but I promise to try and get it done by this month! (hell, last month, it was this month... >_<) And I still have to catch up with the great 'fics out... ::sigh:: I did read "Innocent Killer" and it was, like, wow!!! ^___^ You rock, Pearl Louis-san! And "Finality" by Miyashi-chan ^_~ (it was kinda heavy on the chest...so sad... but I loved your writing! ^^) But that's about it... ^_^;; Pathetic, ne? Of Love and Honor by Tin Mandigma --------------------------------------------------------------- This is a Rurouni Kenshin-inspired fanfic written entirely for entertainment purposes only. Standard disclaimers apply. --------------------------------------------------------------- A prelude to Part 12 NOTE: This happens three or four years before the beginning of Rurouni Kenshin (the series.) Think of it as a sort-of prologue ^_^;; (though, of course, it's really part of the OLH arc) Vignette: Dying Dreams Sono kooru, hitomi, tokashi Kono mune de, namida, fuite Atatakana namida wa Koori, tokasu harvest rain Melt those frozen eyes Wipe away your tears as I hold you to my heart The warm tears are the harvest rain that melts the ice. -from "Ice Blue Eyes" (translation from the Rurouni Kenshin Archive) The wind lashed against the wooden shutters, rattling them with harsh anger until they slammed back against the walls in rain-drenched surrender. With malicious satisfaction, the wind reared back once again in an ominous gathering of force. Cowering, the objects of its fury plastered themselves against each other in terrified expectation. Suddenly, though, the wind abated, like an enraged lover breaking through the haze of fury and, with the same gentle horrified remorse of one who had inadvertently hurt his beloved, began to coax its barely moving victims with slick cold fingers. The shutters flinched in response, shifting forward in hurt defiance. The wind brushed past them harmlessly as it hurtled forward in confused wonderment at the strange glowing darkness which lay beyond and met the heavy embrace of ether and camphor which hung in the air. The wind recoiled and drifted outside once more with a speed born of repulsive distaste, leaving behind a peculiar mix of vapor, scent and sweat which traced a cloying trail through the dark before emerging into the light of an oil lamp which flickered in surreal flashes of humanity: an old man pacing to and fro the creaking wooden floor; two young women slumped beside the futon placed at the center of the room; a middle-aged man wearing the robes of a doctor standing silently by the lamp; and a young man, immobile as a statue, his dark hair melting eerily into the shadows surrounding him, lounging against the wall directly opposite from the door. "How is she, sensei?" the old man asked, his wrinkled face furrowed in deep worry as he studied the prone figure stretched out on the futon. "Not good," the doctor sighed. "Her fever is very high. I think there might be an infection." One of the young women spoke up, "Isn't there anything we can do?" "At this point, none," the doctor answered gravely, his youthful face etched with lines of fatigue. He had just returned from a medical trip to Tokyo and had barely enough rest before being summoned to attend to this particular potion. "We just have to continue applying the poultices to ease the pain...the rest is up to her," he finished with a helpless shrug. "Will she make it?" the old man demanded gruffly. The doctor bit his lip. "I don't know," he whispered wearily. "The only thing left for us to do is to let her rest. I'm so sorry." The other woman, her dark eyes brimming with tears, protested, "But we just can't--" "We should listen to the doctor," a low voice interjected. The old man looked up sharply, his pale eyes probing the slim figure propped against the wall, barely discernible in the gathering darkness. "Are you--" he began abruptly. The figure didn't move. "We've done everything, Okina." Okina's features tightened in pain for a brief second before relaxing in a weary mask of resignation. "Very well, doctor," he sighed. "We will do as you ask. I'm afraid we've overtaxed you this time," he said in a faltering attempt at ruefulness. "No, of course not, Okina-san," the doctor answered, smiling back in sympathetic understanding. "I wanted to help." Okina glanced again at the silent figure. "And that you did," he answered. "But now I think you should also rest. There's nothing--" he drew in a quivering sigh, "--nothing left for us to do, as you said so yourself." "Okina-san..." Shaking his head, Okina approached the other man and began to lead him towards the door. "It's all right. Your wife and children must be waiting for you. But first..." he looked back at the women who were still crouching tensely on the floor. "Okon, Omasu," he called out gently. "Please prepare some supper for the doctor. And see to his carriage, too." "There's no need to do that, Okina-san," the other man said gently. "Maybe I could--" Okina shook his head firmly. "Please, doctor. Okon and Omasu glanced at each other, their faces pale and hesitant. "But Hanyaa and the others..." "They're needed outside," the cool voice put in. A pause and then, "I'll stay here." Okon looked up at Okina who nodded. Clutching Omasu's wrist, she stood up tiredly before turning unseeingly towards the speaker. "Very well, Aoshi-sama," she said in a subdued voice. Omasu squeezed her hand as they proceeded towards the hallway along with Okina and the doctor. With a final backward collective glance, they shuffled out, silent wraiths retreating into the nothingness of the beyond. A tired sigh echoed the quiet closing of the door. Aoshi slumped against the wall, his arms flailing limply against the wood. Outside, the shutters repeated his action with a faint falling back of their own as the wind began its merciless teasing once again. Unmindful, Aoshi stared blankly at the figure, at the girl, no more than thirteen or fourteen, years old, who lay so quietly in the futon across him, wrapped in white sheets which threw in frightening relief the paleness of her skin. Even from the distance which separated them, Aoshi could see the faint blue tinge on the girl's cheeks. He shuddered as he looked away, afraid of what it implied. The girl moaned suddenly before breaking out into harsh fits of coughing. Catching his breath sharply, Aoshi made his way towards her in quick jerky steps before collapsing heavily beside the futon. His hand shaking, he bent down to brush away the dark strands of hair which lay limply on the small forehead so near his own. Her skin was terrifyingly hot to the touch, as if it was burning inside with a fire which was stoked with each slight movement coming from the outside. Aoshi withdrew his hand instinctively. The girl coughed again, her small body convulsing upwards. A surge of panic swept over him, bringing to the fore the fear he had tried so hard to hide from the others a while ago and he reached out again, his hands skimming pleadingly over the smooth white planes of the girl'sface and shoulders in a desperate attempt to soothe. A hand suddenly clenched against the lapels of his robe. Startled, Aoshi looked down and was confronted with a pair of pain-fogged blue eyes watching him quietly. He cleared his throat. "Is there something--" he began hoarsely when the girl spoke in a tired voice: "Te-tell..." she coughed again. Aoshi shook his head and was about to reach out for the basin which lay beside the futon when she lay a cold hand against his wrist in silent refusal. Aoshi's gaze darkened. "But..." "Tell...me..." she said slowly. Aoshi bent down until his cheek touched hers, her hair sheltering them both. He shivered at the contact. "Tell me..." she whispered into his ear. "Tell me...a...a...story," she finished with a shuddering sigh. Her head drooped sideways to rest on the crook of his neck. Despite himself, Aoshi's lips curved slightly. "What story?" he whispered back. "My--my--favorite story," she breathed. "The--the--one about..." Aoshi gazed up at the ceiling inscrutably. The hand on his robe gripped tighter at his silence. "But you have to rest," he answered quietly. "After--after--your story..." His lips brushed against her hot skin. "All right. And then you sleep...all right?" Her hand relaxed. "All right," she whispered. Aoshi's eyes moved to the lamp which lay beside the bed. It burned steadily, confidently, in a golden flame, unaware perhaps of its shadow which lurked behind its back, flickering with its light in deliberate mockery. "Once, there was a boy who had a dream. He didn't really know what it was but he *felt* it. He knew it was there, hidden somewhere in his being. He was born into a poor family and he knew that his dream was the only thing which could save him from his life of misery and poverty. And so he searched for his dream, to capture it in his hands, for even a butterfly whose wings flutter to ensure its escape falls prey to the danger of their very existence. But try as he might, he couldn't find it and he decided that the only way for him to recover his dream would be to create it himself. One day, a man came. He told the boy that he was a swordsman and that he could help him. The boy thought then that maybe his dream was to become a warrior like the man. He trained hard to become a swordsman until, finally, he became so good, enough to defeat in combat the man who had taught him. The boy decided that it wasn't enough to be *just* a swordsman. He had to be the greatest swordsman in the entire country, maybe even in the entire world. That was the path to his dream, he thought." Aoshi paused. "And then?" A quiet question. He sighed. "It was about this time that the boy met a young girl. She was beautiful and kind and loving. And she had found her dream. The boy asked her what it was but she only smiled and told him that someday he would find out that no person's dream truly lies in him- or herself. The boy didn't understand. Yet he had fallen in love with the girl and she with him. But...," Aoshi took another deep breath, "...but he wanted his dream more." Silence. "And so he left the girl in order to pursue that elusive harbinger of his longed-for escape. Indeed, he became a deadly swordsman, exceeding even his own expectations. But he heard that there was another person who was even greater than he was and he sought to challenge that man. He believed that once he was finally acknowledged as the greatest warrior ever, his dream would be complete. But it wasn't meant to be. He was defeated in battle, his followers killed and his honor shamed. Desolate, he realized that he had sought after the wrong dream and he decided to return to the girl, hopeful that she would show him the way. But he found out that the girl, his beloved, was already married to another man. Sadness in her eyes, she told him that it wasn't his dream which was wrong in itself but the reason behind it. A dream should always be a dream with and for others; otherwise, it loses meaning and becomes mere ambition. 'But your dream...! Your dream!' the young man cried out in despair. And the girl answered..." "My dream was you," she murmured. Aoshi lowered his head closer to hers. "Yes," he uttered quietly. 'I wanted us to find our dreams in each other,' the girl said. But it was too late. Consumed with anger and bitterness, the young man killed himself. In the end..." Aoshi's voice dropped to a reflective murmur. "In the end, his dream caught *him*." She sighed against his neck. "But the girl loved him still and so she committed suicide, too. And...and before she died she said..." A brief pause and then, "She said, 'Maybe in death, we could finally dream together.'" "That wasn't part of the story," Aoshi said quietly. There was no response. Warm air rushed against his face in reassuringly even rhythm. She was asleep, a slight smile curving her pale lips. Was she dreaming? Aoshi watched the lamp flicker for a few minutes longer. Slowly, the light looked fainter and fainter to his bemused gaze, as if it was being swallowed inexorably by the black enornmity of its shadow. Outside, the wooden shutters flailed helplessly in the air in a stranglehold of wind and rain water before collapsing against the wall in a hollow cry of abuse. Lulled by the tumultous sounds of the night and the even breathing of the girl beside him, Aoshi sank slowly into his own slumber. The light went out. End of Vignette. NOTES: You're probably asking why the hell I decided to write this little piece of, well, weirdness (?). I wanted to create a backdrop to OLH by establishing a congruency with past events but I knew that I could only take flashback sessions so far ^_^ I was initially considering ending the story first but I feel that you wouldn't, um, appreciate the 'fic's entirety without this (and its equally weird companions ^^;;) --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- Check out this week's ONElist of the week. http://www.onelist.com How is ONElist changing YOUR life? Visit our homepage and let us know! ------------------------------------------------------------------------